


Floating

by Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-11 02:50:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 70,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7873264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse/pseuds/Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bryn Erikssen has finally finished the rigorous training at Starfleet's medical school and residency, and is ready for her first assignment. She's hoping for the Yorktown Starbase, so she can set up her practice and set down some roots. Life has a funny way of not asking what your plans are though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Readers - So this is something totally new for me. I've never written fanfic for Star Trek despite growing up watching it. To my regular readers - I needed to clear my mind and get some fresh ideas for my current unfinished project. You know what's up, and I appreciate the hell out of all the support and private messages you've been sending. I never abandon anything, I just needed something light and silly and fun to distract me for a bit. To those of you who are new to me - this is my first foray into Trek. I always write OCs because it seems like every fandom I adore is short on the women. I wasn't planning on posting this at all, but my beta insists. You know who you are ;)
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you enjoy!
> 
> ~TK

As I stood among my class, I could feel the weight lifting off my shoulders. It was tangible to me as if I’d been Atlas himself. These past years had torn me down right to my foundation before building me back up again, and finally, just in time for commencement, I felt as though I belonged among my fellow officers and doctors in the Starfleet Medical Corps. I felt a hand drop to my shoulder and give me a comforting squeeze, and looked over at my best friend, Kara. Med school had been difficult for both of us. Officer training had nearly washed us both out. And residency, under some of the scariest, most amazing doctors in the universe? Well, we had finally found our place there.

 

“As you embark on your careers in Starfleet, whether your assignment takes you into the vast darkness of space or to another Federation planet, may you remember the four pillars of medicine: Autonomy, Beneficence, Non-Maleficence, and Justice. Respect your patients, seek out what is best for them, do no harm and seek to choose the best course of treatment. You’ve been taught well, and studied hard. Your assignments will be waiting you upon return to your quarters. Congratulations, class of 2260,” The superintendent finished his address, and mortar boards started flying. We were done.

 

“Party first,” Kara shouted over the cheers of the rest of the class. “We can check our assignments later!”

 

“I kinda want to know where -”

 

“Bryn, there is no way I am letting you start packing tonight,” she shook her head. “You have had your head crammed in textbooks and lab reports for the last six weeks.”

 

“Which is how I managed a distinction,” I protested.

 

“And now you need to celebrate it,” she countered, dragging me back toward the dorms. She was probably right. Who was I kidding, she was totally right. But I was also excited to see where I’d been assigned. I was hoping for a big base, off planet. I wasn’t so cocky as to assume I’d get a shipboard assignment right away, but a Federation Starbase like the new Yorktown base that was just finishing construction would be perfect. It had a huge population already, and was anticipating a larger influx of Starfleet personnel and their families once it was fully completed. Definitely the place to consolidate those skills. And big enough to need more than a few doctors, which increased the odds of Kara and I being assigned together.

 

“But -”

 

“I know,” she cut me off. “I know. You want to check your assignment and talk to your parents about what happens next. But you just finished med school with distinction, and I don’t care how responsible you need to be tomorrow, tonight you need to have fun!”

 

“Fine. Party tonight, but I want to check my assignment before bed,” I compromised as we headed into the dorms. “Mum and Dad will want to know.” My PADD was sitting on the charging base, flashing an urgent message. Kara’s was charging beside it, also flashing. I fought the urge to immediately check the message. To be fair, Kara also hesitated at her PADD, and clenched her fist to stop herself from grabbing it off the base.

 

“Dammit,” she cursed under her breath. I shook my head and pushed her toward the bedroom to get changed. As I’d suspected, she already had two fantastic outfits hanging from the closet. Sexy red number for her, little black dress for me. I always trusted Kara’s judgement when it came to party clothes. I was quite content to live in my cadet’s uniform or pajamas, but she knew fashion, loved fashion, breathed fashion. If it hadn’t been for her family’s connection with Starfleet, she probably would have run off and become a designer. I was glad she had followed in her mother’s footsteps. I’d never had a better friend. And she made me look good.

 

As we rushed around the dorm room getting ready, we both kept pausing at the PADD charging station to watch the lights on the corner of the PADDs flash. If I was truthful with myself, I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to enjoy the night if I didn’t have my assignment settled.

 

“Okay, rule-switch,” I held up my hand in the signal we’d developed in our first year as roommates. It was the sign that one of us had a recommendation against previously agreed plans. Kara smiled, her eyes flashing over to our PADDs before she nodded. “We check our assignments. That’s all, just check them. I promise I won’t try to change your plans for the night, but at least then we’ll know.”

 

“I don’t know, Bryn,” Kara cringed. “I feel like it might ruin my mood.”

 

“Kara, mine is flashing urgent. What if that means urgent like right now? What if I miss a duty call?”

 

“It’s probably a glitch,” Kara argued. “Mine is flashing normally. Assignments are received normally, right?”

 

“I guess you’re right,” I sighed and went back to fixing my hair.

 

“You gonna pull tonight?” Kara stood beside me and starting applying her make-up.

 

“It’s been ages since I’ve looked at a male body for anything other than anatomy and physiology. I’m not sure I’d know what to do with one,” I laughed. She shook her head.

 

“Look, there’s four ships on leave right now, we’ve just received our commissions, there’s no better time to love him and leave him than tonight because chances are, you won’t ever have to see him again,” Kara promised.

 

“Because that’s worked so well for me in the past. I’m not bringing someone back here just for the sake of bringing someone back,” I laughed. Kara broke into a broad smile.

 

“You’d better not. Go to his place instead,” she winked. “I’ve got dibs on the dorm tonight.”

 

XXX

 

“How can you hear yourself think in here, K?” I shouted across the thumping bass of the nightclub she’d chosen.

 

“Isn’t the point that we don’t think? We’ve done nothing but think now for how long?” She retorted, downing another drink. She held up two fingers at the bartender and pointed at the two of us. He nodded.

 

“Okay, fair. But I need to slow down or I won’t be able to read my assignment when we get back.”

 

Kara rolled her eyes. “I already told you, you aren’t allowed to come back home tonight!” She was only half-kidding. I think. The bartender handed us our drinks and waved off my card, pointing down the bar at a couple of guys. One of them waved. I held my glass up to toast him before taking a drink.

 

“Do we know those guys?” I asked. Kara turned and looked, flashing a bright smile down the bar. She turned back to me and shook her head.

 

“I told you, four ships on leave!” She turned and looked down the bar at them again. “Sweetie, they’re both hot. You could have a two-for.”

 

“They probably think you’re straight,” I argued. Kara laughed.

 

“Well, I’m not, so they’re all yours!” Kara laughed, kissed me on the cheek and swanned off across the bar to a beautiful Orion woman she’d been eyeing since we’d arrived.

 

“That’s going to lead to nothing but heartbreak and headache!” I called after her. Kara turned around and shrugged.

 

“Worth it!”

 

I turned back to the bar and finished my drink. From the corner of my eye, I could see the two guys were gone. Probably realized I was a solo party and decided to look for another pair of women to woo. I finished my drink and slipped off my stool, determined to get back to the dorm and check my PADD before Kara got her Orion friend back there. One of the men was standing in front of me.

 

“You have excellent taste in scotch,” he offered. His eyes were so goddamn blue. They reminded me of the ocean in the Caribbean. “Can I buy you another?”

 

“What happened to your friend?” I asked. His grin was charming.

 

“Making friends elsewhere, I think. I’m Jim.” He offered his hand. I smiled and let him take mine. He kissed my knuckles. Like, straight up out of a fairy tale. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

 

“You’re old fashioned,” I teased. “It’s cute.”

 

“Oh, not cute,” he groaned. “Cute?”

 

“What’s wrong with cute?” I laughed.

 

“Cute is for kittens. And bunnies,” he protested. “Don’t you mean rugged?”

 

“Sure,” I laughed. “If it means that much to you.”

 

“It really does,” he smiled, and held up his hand to the bartender. “Two more of what she was drinking.” He took the glasses and handed one to me.

 

“May the odds be ever in your favour, Jim,” I tilted the glass toward him. His smile got a little broader.

 

“Oh, she’s read the classics,” he teased. His eyes widened. “Of course! It was commencement today! I thought it was just all the shore leaves that was making this place wilder than usual.”

 

“It’s a dangerous chemical equation, is what it is. What was Starfleet thinking?” I laughed.

 

“Probably that all four of those ships needed leave and crew?” He teased with a wink.

 

“Wow, you’re clever. Careful, they might make you a captain someday.” I tried to keep a straight face, but couldn’t.

 

“That would be terrible,” he nodded. “So let me guess. You’ve got a look to you. Engineering?”

 

“I look like an engineer?” I asked, gesturing at the positively microscopic dress Kara’d put me in. Jim tilted his head and a slow smirk spread across his face.

 

“You look like,” he paused. “You look like I might be in violation of the Prime Directive.”

 

“I’m a new alien life form you’ve never met?” I laughed. He was funny. His flirtation wasn’t slippery or creepy, but dangerously amusing.

 

“Yeah, and I feel like I might need to interfere. New Grads are so tempting.” His smile disarmed me again. I glanced across the room to where I’d last seen Kara and she was giving me a happy thumbs up. What the hell. You only graduate from Starfleet once, right? He was really attractive, clearly interested and not someone I was ever going to have to see again. What could possibly go wrong?

 

“And it’s been a long, lonely mission, Lieutenant?” I asked, assuming he was an officer.

 

“The tales I could tell you, Cadet,” he teased.

 

“Maybe somewhere that I can hear you?” I suggested with a coy grin. His response was perfection. He held up his card to square the bill with the bartender, and kissed my cheek as he leaned forward.

 

“I hope you don’t mind my hotel?”

  
“Lead the way, Captain,” I faked a salute and gave him a promotion. He laughed, shook his head and took my hand.

 


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up with cottonmouth, a headache and raging light sensitivity. Too much scotch. The sun was just creeping up over the bay, backlighting the Golden Gate. I blinked and took in my relative position compared to the location of the iconic bridge. It wasn't where it should be. Which meant I wasn't where I should be. I heard a groan from beside me and a warm, heavy arm dropped across my waist, pulling me against a warmer, firm body. My eyes snapped open. The hot guy from the bar. I'd actually gone home with the hot guy from the bar. And apparently decided to stay the night, if the rising sun out the window was any indication.

From my location in the bed, I quickly sought out visual contact with all my clothing. I saw my shoes at the door to the room, my dress at the foot of the bed and and knickers within arms reach. No bra. Wait. I hadn't worn a bra out. The only thing I was missing was my purse. I wiggled out from under his arm and glanced around again and saw it sitting under one of my heels. Jim rolled back on to his side of the bed and I took the opportunity to slip out of my side, collect my things and dash to the door of the hotel. I slipped my dress on, stuffed my undies in my purse and picked up my heels, padding quietly to the bathroom before I snuck out. I'm not entirely sure what I'd been thinking, allowing Kara to put me in that dress. It was so tiny. I felt like there was more skin than fabric. I tiptoed across the bedroom, pulled Jim's t-shirt off the floor and tugged it over my head, shimmying the skirt of the dress as low as I could before gently opening the door, sneaking out, and easing the door shut.

I tapped the elevator button about ten times, willing it to speed up and when the doors finally opened, I stepped forward before looking up, crashing directly into someone else. I looked up to apologize and met the amused gaze of a tall, good-looking guy. He scratched the stubble on his jaw and nodded at me before stepping out of my way. As the elevator doors shut, I thumped my head against the wall. Bad form. Staying the night and getting caught, even by a stranger, was a little mortifying. It didn't even dawn on me that he might also be making a walk of shame. I was more bothered that I still didn't know what my assignment was.

I rapped loudly on the dorm door before unlocking it, to give Kara warning that I was coming in. She stumbled out of our room, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as I stepped into the kitchenette to start a pot of coffee. She did a double-take at my appearance.

"Did you just get in?"

"Who the hell did you think was knocking? You told me not to come home!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, the Orion girl was a wash. Gave me a headache after about ten minutes of talking," she shrugged. "I sent you the all clear when I got home."

I dug into my purse to pull out my communicator and saw the text scroll across the screen. I closed my eyes and sighed. Kara tilted her head and stepped around me in a slow circle. "Oh my god. You totally went home with that guy."

"I'm exhausted. Have you checked your assignment yet?"

"Yorktown, as requested," she nodded. "Back to you. The guy?"

"The vague snippets that are slowly returning suggest he was incredible," I admitted. Kara squealed.

"Shut up! Fuck off!" She exclaimed. "I can't believe you! Finally!"

"Okay, it's not like I'd never slept with someone before," I countered, pursing my lips.

"Sure, no, you're right. But breaking a two year dry spell as a commencement gift to yourself is just what the doctor ordered!" She exclaimed with a giggle. "Now read your assignment while I pour the coffee. We can start our perfect careers on Yorktown together!"

I grabbed my PADD and sat down on the couch. I logged into my messages and scanned the assignment roster, and couldn't find my name. My brow furrowed and I checked again, noticing the PADD was still blinking with the urgent message. When I exited back to the main messaging screen, I saw a different message flagged, and opened it.

"I'm not going to Yorktown with you," I breathed. Kara handed me a coffee mug and stepped over the back of the couch, sitting down cross-legged beside me.

"What do you mean? It's where we requested. They needed ten doctors," Kara replied. "They allow families, and -"

"I've been assigned to the Enterprise," I replied. "I'm to report in two hours."

XXX

"Hey princess," I stared at the beautiful girl on the video screen. She broke into a broad grin and waved at me.

"Mama! Pops and Nanny said you finished with distinction!" She exclaimed.

"I did," I nodded. "I worked really hard, sweetie. It felt good to be at the top of my class. Nanny said your report card was awesome too. I'm proud of you!" Kate had struggled a lot in the past year. More than any other year that I was at the academy, she felt my absence this past year. She was ten, and rapidly approaching those tween years that were so difficult. She needed her Mom. It was why I'd been content to apply to serve at Yorktown instead of applying for a starship. I could have moved her with me. Let the cat out of the bag. Kara was the only person who knew about Kate. Well, Kara and Michael.

"My teacher said my research paper on warp engine physics was far too advanced for a child. So I had to do a bunch of stupid tests," she scowled. "But I showed him. The test was so easy."

"Well, for a kid with an enormous brain, of course," I laughed. "So, princess, you know how I told you I'd applied for the new starbase, the Yorktown?"

"Yeah, I was reading about it. There's a science academy for gifted students there," she smiled. "I bet they do cooler things than egg parachutes."

"Yeah, about that," I sighed. "Katie, I've been assigned to a starship. You're going to have to stay with Pops and Nanny a while longer. The Enterprise is the flagship, so there are definitely family quarters, but -"

"But Starfleet doesn't know about me, so you have to get the paperwork started," she finished. "What would I do for school?"

"I'll have to look into that, kiddo," I shrugged. "Anyhow, I gotta run and finish packing. I love you so much, Katie. Be good for Pops and Nanny, and I'll comm you as soon as I'm settled. We can vid again in a couple days."

"I love you too, Mama."

XXX

It certainly wasn't the worst hangover I'd ever had, but it was easily in the top ten. I dragged through the last of my packing, grateful I'd mostly packed in the days leading to commencement. I tagged the boxes I wanted sent to storage, and checked the time. I had to be on the transport to the ship in less than thirty minutes. Being late to my first assignment wasn't an option.

"Okay, K, I'm gone. I'll send you a message once I'm on board. Good luck!" I called as I dashed out the door. I caught the first transport I saw to the port, and just barely made my transport to Spacedock. I raked my hair into a messy bun, and pulled my contact lenses out, opting for my glasses instead. I wouldn't normally be caught dead in them, but my head was throbbing. I heard a couple of guys arguing at the front of the transport about whether or not the flight was dangerous.

"For God's sake, Bones, you have to get past this, we're going to be on the ship for five years!" The voice seemed familiar and I looked up and squinted, but could only see the backs to the two men's heads. I dropped my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes.

"I know that look," the woman beside me opened. "Cadet reds, wrinkled, last night's make-up. Commencement and a quick turn around assignment says you're the new medical officer?"

I nodded, feeling my cheeks flush with embarrassment. She laughed.

"Don't be embarrassed, we all need to let off steam." She patted my back. "But if you're going to throw up, I'd prefer not my lap."

"I haven't even read my entire orders yet," I admitted. She laughed even harder.

"Dr. McCoy is the CMO on the Enterprise. He's a great doctor. Rough around the edges, but he has a heart of gold once you get past the prickles. My guess is that he'll be great for your consolidation years," she offered. "I'm Lieutenant Uhura, communications."

"Bryn Erikssen," I offered. "And as you already figured out, medical," I offered my hand. She shook it and patted me on the back again.

"Congratulations on getting the best post in Starfleet," she teased. "On the youngest ship in the fleet, no less."

"Yeah, she's only been in duty a few years, right?" I asked. Uhura nodded.

"And we have the youngest crew too," she said. "Even the captain is -"

"Kirk, right? I've heard of him," I interrupted.

"Who hasn't?" She laughed. "I mean, his academy reputation alone, right? Have you met him before? Because you're a nice looking woman, and you've been around a while if you're medical -"

"Stop right there," I laughed. "I was a very dedicated student. Last night was the first time I'd been out since, well, at least for a few years." Uhura laughed with me and I found myself hoping I'd made a new friend. She seemed very cool.

"It's probably a good thing that you're used to long spells of boredom. I can't believe we're headed out for five years." Her eyes lit up and I suspected she was very excited about all the places we'd be seeing. If she was communications that meant she was likely a xenolinguistics major. She probably spoke twenty languages.

I opened messaging on my PADD and reread the assignment briefing. Dr. McCoy was my immediate superior, blah blah Medbay, blah blah other stuff. Finally I found the assignment duration. Uhura wasn't kidding. I was assigned for five years. I vaguely remembered hearing something about a few ships being given exploration missions but I didn't realize the Enterprise was one of them. I was going to have to hustle on Katie's paperwork if I wanted to see her at all before she was an adult, it seemed. Before I could say anything to my new friend, we docked with the Enterprise, and people started to unbuckle and stand. The two men who'd been alternating between laughing and bickering stood at the doors of the shuttle, and were joined by a third in Science blue. I wondered if he was Dr. McCoy but the way Uhura's face lit up when she saw him suggested to me that mightn't be the case. She'd been chatty, and she hadn't mentioned having a relationship with the CMO. The three men's heads dipped inward and when the man in the Science uniform turned his head, I noticed the ears. McCoy wasn't a Vulcan name. Science guy wasn't my CMO. The two men he spoke with laughed again and the Vulcan's shoulders rose like he was the long-suffering companion of both the men.

"Poor Spock. I wonder what Bones is giving him a hard time about this time?" Uhura wondered aloud, inviting me back into the conversation.

"So who is Spock?" I asked. Uhura smiled.

"Okay, newbie, here's the rundown. Spock is that handsome Vulcan talking to Bones and the captain," she started. I blinked. The two guys standing with Spock were both in jeans and one of them was wearing a leather jacket. "He's the first officer on the ship. The taller of the other two is Dr. McCoy, the CMO. The captain started calling him Bones when they first became friends. It's kind of stuck, but most of us won't actually call him it to his face. And the one in the leather jacket is Captain James T. Kirk. In the flesh. Do you recognize him now?"

My eyes narrowed and I had to admit both he and the CMO looked familiar. "Maybe?"

"If it's only maybe, then you probably don't," she laughed. "He has a way of making an impression. Come on, let's get off this tin can and onto the ship. You'll check through with Dr. McCoy and then a yeoman will show you to your quarters." She rose from her seat and approached Spock, nodding with a practiced aloofness that impressed me. Just by the way she behaved, I could tell something was going on with them, but she was a consummate professional in her approach. Spock nodded as the captain tapped her PADD. I collected my day bag and readied my PADD before approaching Dr. McCoy.

"Are you my new kid?" He asked as I stopped in front of him. I nodded. "Erikssen, is it?" He flicked his finger across the PADD, looking from me to the photo in my personnel file. He smirked and looked back up at me. "You've got an impressive record, Erikssen. Welcome to the Enterprise."

"Thank you, sir," I smiled. McCoy smirked again.

"Save the sir nonsense for the captain. I might be the CMO, but at the end of the day we're both doctors, kid." His tone was confusingly warm and gruff. I decided in that instant that I liked him, and was hoping I wouldn't regret the decision.

"Then thank you, Doctor McCoy," I smiled. From the corner of my eye I saw the captain pause and look at us. His eyes narrowed in thought and then he leaned forward smiling.

"You can thank me too," he interjected. "I requested the top of the class for Bones."

I turned to the captain and flushed. "Then thank you as well, sir." He looked frighteningly familiar with his stark blue eyes and rogue's smile. He stepped in a little closer and his smile turned seductive.

"You're very welcome. Perhaps I could interest you in a drink in my quarters later tonight, lieutenant?" He practically purred. So day one, not even on the Enterprise yet and the captain was hitting on me. That seemed unlikely, and more possibly a hazing ritual. I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sorry sir, I'm not interested," I murmured apologetically. I noticed McCoy smothering a smirk and looked at him in question. He looked back at my PADD with feigned interest. Kirk tilted his head to one side in assessment and then smiled, charming once more.

"I might remind you that I'm your captain," he teased. I crossed my fingers that it was in good-nature. Kirk had a reputation as a ladykiller, but more importantly he had a reputation as an excellent and fair captain. I hoped he wouldn't use his position to intimidate new personnel. I smiled brightly and shook my head.

"Then I guess that's Lieutenant Not Interested, Captain." I winked as I said it and collected my PADD back from Dr. McCoy. "There's a yeoman somewhere that can show me to my quarters, Doctor?"

"As soon as you're on the ship, someone will meet you," he nodded, barely containing his amusement. "I'll give you the day to get yourself sorted, report for Alpha shift in the morning." I nodded my head and left the transport, listening to McCoy cackle.


	3. Chapter 3

I hailed Kara as soon as I had a chance to flop across my bed.

"So?" She asked.

"My quarters are huge. About the same size as our dorm, except I'm not sharing with anyone. And my bed is twice as big," I started. She laughed.

"That's because ships are gone for long periods, and you might want to entertain company when you aren't on shore leave," Kara teased.

"Oh my god, stop," I laughed. "Just because I had a fling last night doesn't mean I'm going to suddenly become a wild woman."

"Anyone hot on board, or have you had a chance to look yet?" She countered. I laughed again.

"I haven't really had a chance to look, but Uhura said it's the youngest crew in the fleet," I answered.

"That would suggest a target-rich environment." I could hear the leer in Kara's voice.

"Okay, we did not just spend the last eight years of our lives slaving away in med school to be worried about whether or not I'll be getting laid on the regular now that we're done. So let's focus on something else, shall we?" I refocused the conversation. Kara had been far too interested in my love life in the last few months, worried that I was going to become some kind of spinster. The last year of med school had very nearly destroyed me though, and all my focus had needed to be on my studies.

"I'm just concerned about your mental health, Bee," Kara protested. Damn her psychology minor. "You threw yourself into your studies when -"

"We're not talking about him," I interrupted. "I threw myself into my studies because he'd been a distraction and I'd fallen behind. Did you know I got this post because the captain had specifically asked for the top student from the class? I was the top student in the class, Kara. I wouldn't have been had Michael continued to distract me. And then what?"

"You would have come to Yorktown with me," Kara interjected. "Would that have been so terrible?"

"No, not at all. But Michael knew about Katie and I could have been expelled for falsifying my records. And instead I'm going on a five year mission in space! Five years, Kara! Think of what I'm going to see and do in that time," I explained. "And Michael's continued presence in my life would have prevented that."

"If it was such a good thing that he left, why did it take you two years to climb back in the saddle?" Kara countered. "And when you did, it was a one-nighter."

"So I'm on this five-year mission, and my CMO seems cool. I think I've made friends with the communications officer already. And my captain wears a leather jacket when he's off-duty," I changed the subject. "I haven't seen the medbay yet, but I'm on Alpha in the morning, so I'll have more to say about the facilities then. In the meantime, my room is huge and I'll go for a wander through the halls and see the rest of the ship in a while. I think I need a nap because I had too much to drink last night, which is not an invitation for you to go back to what I got up to last night, it's just a statement of fact. Hangover."

"Run down to medbay and get a hypo," Kara laughed. "There are advantages of being a doctor. Take them."

"If I'm not throwing up, it's not really a bad hangover. I just think lack of sleep and coffee are grinding on me too," I admitted. "A nap, and then we'll see how the replicator manages with caffeine."

"Probably a shower in there too because you probably reek of stale whiskey and that handsome stranger," Kara laughed. "And that's the last I'm saying about last night. I love you, best roomie ever."

"I love you too, Kara. Let me know when you get to Yorktown." I closed the communicator and did as she recommended, hitting the shower first before laying down to take a nap. Before I fell asleep, I sent a quick message and a couple of photos to Katie. She was suitably impressed. I wakened to my communicator chirping a few hours later. It was a message from Uhura, inviting me down to the cantina. It wasn't more than twenty minutes since she'd sent it, so I figured I'd try to figure out where I was headed and meet up with her.

It was pretty quiet in the cantina. For whatever reason, I had a picture of last night in my head when I saw her message, but the noise level was minimal and there weren't many people sitting at the tables. I saw Uhura at the same time she saw me, and she waved me over to her table, where she was sitting with a few other women.

She introduced me around and pointed to a seat. "We're all on Alpha shift in the morning, so it's pretty low-key tonight." It looked, and smelled like she was drinking herbal tea.

"If I ever see scotch again, it may be too soon," I laughed and ordered my own tea.

"We all say that at some point," a pretty Andorian named Tarin smiled and sipped her drink.

"And yet I bet we're all repeat offenders," Uhura laughed, and just as quickly, changed the subject. "Bryn, I overheard the captain say you were the top of your class?"

"Yeah, there's a reason commencement was the first time I'd partied in a couple years," I laughed. "Nose in a textbook in all my spare time."

"There's more to that story," she observed.

"Probably. I had a bad case in my second year and nearly dropped out. World falling out under you, that kind of thing. I decided that I could either walk away and ask myself if I was a coward for the rest of my life, or face the music and clean up my practice," I was as brief as possible about it. I didn't like dwelling on the past. Not when I'd come so far.

"Fortune favours the bold," Tarin nodded.

"I think luck is generally comprised of hard work and discipline," I clarified. Tarin's blue skin paled a little.

"Oh, I didn't mean you hadn't worked hard, I mean that people who work for it are usually successful," she offered. I flinched.

"I'm sorry," I offered. "I misunderstood you." Tarin shook her head and smiled.

"Sometimes those Earth sayings are confusing," she agreed, letting out a yawn. "I'm going to have to excuse myself. I can hardly stay awake. It was lovely meeting you, Bryn. I hope to see you around."

"Hopefully not in medbay for anything other than routine check-ups," I laughed.

"I'll be careful," she replied and rose. The other women excused themselves soon after, leaving just Uhura and I together. I looked at the time on my communicator and finished my tea.

"Thanks for inviting me, Nyota," I offered.

"It's nice to meet people who aren't from your division when you're first assigned. Most of the officer corps on the Enterprise has been together since she was launched, so we can be a little insular and that can be isolating and unfriendly to new personnel. I know it's not my job, but it feels little bit like it's appropriate to introduce myself. After all, I am the communications officer," she nodded.

"I really appreciate it. I've basically hid out under a med school rock for the past few years. I know my cohort really well, but didn't really mingle outside of the med corps. I think it's probably wise to make friends in all the divisions. I mean, if I want people to trust me with their health, it would help if I'm friendly," I offered. Uhura laughed.

"Well, Doctor McCoy might disagree with you on that front. He can be prickly, but the crew trusts him implicitly," she countered.

"Well, maybe I'll become good enough that we can do the good cop, bad cop thing," I laughed.

"You know, when it comes to getting Captain Kirk to his annual physical, it may come down to that. He's a bit medically phobic," she admitted. "But I didn't tell you that."

"No spot inspections of medbay then?" I recalled the dread of inspections from the academy, and wasn't looking forward to them one bit.

"For the most part he leaves them to McCoy and Spock. You probably won't see much of the captain at all," Uhura explained. "Anyhow, you looked exhausted on the transport today. And I'm sure you'd appreciate a good night's sleep before Alpha shift starts. I'll let you get going. Comm me if you need anything, Bryn."

XXX

Despite a catastrophic malfunction with my in-suite replicator that made me miss my coffee maker back at the dorms, required me to change my uniform completely, and put my glasses on instead of my contacts, my morning was fairly uneventful. I arrived at medbay early, eager to familiarize myself with the layout of the department. The Gamma shift staff were all as bleary-eyed as I remembered being when I did nights as a resident, but they were friendly, and as soon as they heard I hadn't manage to replicate a coffee, the head nurse stepped me through how to use the medbay replicator. I had just pulled my coffee out of the machine when Doctor McCoy walked in and took it from my hand. He seemed taller in his Science Blues than he had in jeans and a t-shirt, and definitely looked the part of the dashing Starfleet doctor. He was just as impossibly handsome as the rest of the crew.

"If you're going to make a habit of making me a coffee every morning, kid, I'll be happy to keep you," he teased, his voice gruff. He took a sip and made a face. "But you'll have to learn to make it how I like it."

"I like my first cup to be sweet in the morning," I offered, stealing my cup back.

"Learn to like it hot, bitter and dark," McCoy barked. "The replicators don't tend to mess that up as much." He turned to the replicator and made his own coffee. I drank from mine, not the least bit bothered by him sampling it. I wasn't about to waste a cup of coffee. He quirked an eyebrow but said nothing. His eyes betrayed him though. They danced with amusement, and I found myself drawn in when he stared at me, trying to figure out exactly what colour they were - I settled on hazel because it encompassed the varying shades of grey, green and brown that they flickered through.

I followed him through his morning procedure, shadowing him like a little puppy. "There's not a lot for me to teach you this morning, but the assistant has been scheduling physicals. Everyone needs one before we clear the quadrant. We'll be pretty busy for the next week. You should be able to do a physical in about ten minutes once you're comfortable. But have your appointments blocked in twenty minute intervals for the first few days until you get the hang of it. You're comfortable with hypos?"

"Of course." I couldn't keep the confusion out of my voice.

"You'd be surprised how many new docs get queasy after giving a few. There's a whole raft of new vaccines the crew will need for this mission and if you're going to be a soft touch about it, it'll slow you down," he explained. I nodded. Hypos were probably the easiest part of being a doctor. "I'll need your help with the captain. That won't be a problem, will it?"

"Should it be?" I asked, confusion furrowing my brow. I could hear Kara chastising me in the back of my head - 'that look will give you age wrinkles'.

"You're a professional. Good," he nodded, leaving me confused. "I'll be keeping you on Alpha until I'm satisfied with your ability. I know Jim asked for the best but I've seen some lousy doctors that managed distinctions." I wasn't worried about treating the captain. He was any other crew member when he entered medbay. McCoy's assessment superceded his, if necessary. The only people who ran the risk of intimidating me inside the medbay were McCoy and the head nurse. Well, most of the nurses if I were truthful. Outside the medbay was another story. Everyone was young, fit, attractive. I definitely wasn't on the ugly end of the spectrum, but I still felt a little less spectacular than the crew I'd met thus far.

After showing me around the department, he decided to test my competency by having me run a routine assessment on an ensign. He was right, I needed twenty minutes, but after the assessment was over, I thought about where I could be more efficient, and was looking forward to testing my theory on the next assessment. I was charting on it when he sat down across from me, putting down two coffee cups.

"Answer a question for me, kid," he started. I looked up, pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose. "What's with the glasses?"

"I'm nearsighted?" I answered. I took a sip from my coffee and pulled a face. He was apparently planning on training me to drink black coffee whether I wanted to or not.

"Yeah, I figured that. But why wear them at all? There's surgery to correct that," he pressed. I shrugged.

"I never really had the time. I usually wear contact lenses, but I had a bit of an altercation with my replicator this morning, and so glasses it will be for the next little while," I shrugged. McCoy narrowed his eyes.

"Did you hurt yourself? Take your glasses off, let me check you." He had his tricorder out before I could protest and when I didn't take my glasses off fast enough, he pulled them off for me. He held the tricorder up to my face and I resisted rolling my eyes. I was lucky that'd I'd had my contacts on when the coffee splashed up my face, they were all that protected my eyes. But they were my only pair until I could figure out how to requisition new ones. He huffed a little and shook his head.

"You have a burn on your sclera." He turned away and rummaged through a medication drawer behind him.

"It isn't bothering me," I protested. I was a little horrified that he was making such a big deal about such a tiny injury.

"I'm not having a second Jim Kirk on this ship, Doctor Erikssen. You will not run around with untreated illness and wounds, setting a terrible example, if you intend to work in my medbay. Tilt your head back, or I'll do it for you," he ordered. I complied. He gently opened my eye and dropped three medicated drops into it. I blinked and the relief was immediate. I had summed up the continuing headache as a remnant of my hangover, but it made much more sense that it was caused by the burn in my eye. "Hold still while I check the periorbital skin."

I didn't move a muscle as he poked and prodded at me. I'm not sure I'd been as thoroughly assessed since anatomy and physiology labs. "I want you to apply this ointment tonight when you go to bed." He handed me a tiny tube of burn treatment. "And try not to pour coffee straight from the replicator into your eye tomorrow."

"Sure, Doctor McCoy." I reached for my glasses and smiled as I slid them back on my face. He narrowed his eyes and leaned back.

"Take those off again?" He asked. I pulled them back off my face and looked at him, flushing under the scrutiny. "Huh. You certainly look different without your glasses on."

"You think?" I asked, pushing them back up my nose again. He nodded.

"I wouldn't even know you were the same woman," he confirmed. "It's uncanny."

"I guess that could come in handy if I wanted to be a superhero, Doctor McCoy, but I'm not sure what other benefit I'll get from that," I laughed.

"I'm sure it will work to your advantage eventually," he said. "And you can call me Leonard."

"Well then, call me Bryn," I offered.

"That's a lot easier than Brynhilda," he teased. I flushed again.

"My family is Icelandic, and Dad's a bit of a traditionalist," I admitted.

"She's the lead valkyrie, isn't she?" He asked. I nodded. "Are you as feisty as your namesake then?"

I laughed. "I couldn't tell you. I've been so focussed on finishing medical school that I think I've forgotten who I am."

"Starfleet has a way of rebuilding you that way," Leonard nodded. "Don't forget that they only provided the means. You provided the brain and the determination."

"That's a nice way of looking at things. You're a bit of a soft touch," I smiled. He scowled at me.

"I'm not, and you won't be telling anyone that I am," he grouched. "I'm responsible for your consolidation and mentorship, so it serves me well to ensure you have some confidence, is all."

"Okay." I didn't really believe him. He'd been far too attentive to my injury and kind in his expectations. He was a softy. He just put on the prickles. He leaned forward and before I realized what he was doing, gave me a hypo.

"That's for your hangover," he scowled. "Get out of here, kid. Your shift is over."

"I'll see you in the morning then, Leonard." I could feel my face turning read. I shouldn't have been surprised, the man was likely used to assessing people on the fly. But it still embarrassed me that he'd figured out that I had a two-day hangover. As I headed into the turbolift, I nearly took out the captain in the process.

"Jim!" Leonard jumped to his feet. "Are you well? What are you doing here?"

"My apologies, Lieutenant, I didn't see you there," Captain Kirk addressed me, putting a hand on my arm to steady me. I shook my head.

"No, sir, it was my fault, I wasn't looking where I was going," I flushed, averting my gaze. There was something so unsettling about his eyes.

"For God's sake, man, what are you doing here?" Leonard rushed forward. Captain Kirk gave him a bemused smile.

"I've turned over a new leaf, Bones," he started. "It's important that this mission get off on the right foot. It's the first first five year cruise Starfleet has commissioned. So as an example to my crew, I am offering to be the first physical."

"Well, Ensign O'Herlihy beat you to it, Captain," I offered. "He came through this morning for his."

"Is that so?" Captain Kirk pursed his lips and looked at Leonard. "Bones?"

"I let the kid run his physical. She acquitted herself like a seasoned pro. A little slow, but caught all the important parts," Leonard nodded. Kirk looked me over and smirked, meeting Leonard's gaze over my shoulder.

"Perhaps she can take care of me, then as well," he said. "Since she's so capable."

"Doctor Erikssen is off-duty, Jim," Leonard started. He turned to me. "Unless you would like to stay?"

"Of course she will," Kirk commanded. I looked at Leonard for direction and he shrugged, handing the choice back to me.

"Right this way then, Captain," I gestured to an exam table. Using my experience from earlier, I was able to improve my assessment time, and the captain was in excellent health, so nothing special stood out. He was unsettling though, the way he stared at me during the assessment, like he was trying to place me in some memory or scenario. For myself, once his shirt was off, I had the weirdest sense of deja-vu. Like I'd already assessed him in a different life. I supposed he could have been a volunteer in the clinic when I was a new med student.

"This is your first assignment, Lieutenant?" He asked as he pulled his shirt back on. My gaze snapped back to his, and I tried to control the blushing, but he'd caught me admiring his pectoral muscles. Anatomy always had been a weakness of mine. I liked when I could see the muscle groups on a man.

"Uh, yes, sir," I nodded. "I did a training cruise on the Pasteur, but that was a special focus clinical."

"No other assignments? You seem familiar," He pressed. McCoy coughed and we both looked at him. He covered his face and turned away, coughing again. "Perhaps you need one of those damned hypos you're so fond of, Bones?"

"I assure you sir, this is my first assignment," I reassured him. Leonard stepped back to us, coughing fit quelled.

"Good improvement on your organization." He clapped me on the back. "Now run along, supergirl, before I change my mind and assign you to Beta as well."

"Oh, my residency days are over, Dr. McCoy," I retorted with a laugh. "I'd have you up on mistreatment of personnel charges in a heartbeat." I collected my PADD and winked at him on my way out of the medbay.

"She's a little firecracker, that one," he muttered, probably thinking I wouldn't hear him.

"She's got passion," Kirk agreed. I felt myself flushing again. Despite telling him I wasn't interested, my body was certainly letting me know I was. It was too bad he was the captain. Him and the CMO were really the only two off-limits on the entire ship.

XXX

"Come here often?" It had to be the oldest line in the book, and I couldn't help but smile as I turned and faced the captain.

"You just can't take no for an answer, can you?" I smiled. He held his hand up at the bartender and gestured at us. "None for me, thanks. Alpha shift comes early, Captain." I waved the bartender off again.

"I feel like you don't like me, Lieutenant. And since we've only been on this mission for two days, and that means you've only been under me for two days, that seems a little unfair," he explained. He sat in the seat beside me and looked me over. "Have I done something offensive?"

"Not at all, Captain," I shook my head. "I'm flattered by the attention, but I feel a little like I'm only getting it because I've said no."

"I'm not going to deny that most women don't say no," he laughed. "But I read your personnel jacket, which piqued my interest. I think we have more in common than you realize."

"So unrelenting flirtation until I succumb to your charm is your course of action?" I countered. He laughed again and looked down at his drink before looking back at me. "A full assault might work against the Klingons, but I'm just a girl from Earth."

"Maybe let's not call it an assault," he smiled. "Should I instead send a peaceful delegation?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed. He was charming, and the hangdog slump to his shoulders, coupled with the saddest, most beautiful eyes I'd ever seen got me. I wanted to surrender. Except for the part where he was my captain and this was the second day of a five year long expedition into space. There were bad ideas, and I liked to make them. Bad ideas like covering up the fact that I had a child in order to get into Starfleet's med school. Bad ideas like dating Michael and allowing my grades to slide so his ego wouldn't be bruised. Bad ideas like shutting myself away like a hermit after the eventual implosion of that relationship. Bad ideas like celebrating my med school graduation in the hotel bed of an abject stranger. And then there were bad ideas like falling for the charm of your handsome captain, which seemed just infinitely worse on a level of stupidity that intersected with foolhardy.

"I should turn in, Captain," I sighed, rising to excuse myself. He nodded and went back to his drink.

"Until next time, then, Lieutenant," he winked. I rolled my eyes and continued out of the cantina and to my quarters.


	4. Chapter 4

We'd been gone a month when I started to feel a little off my game and decided there was no point trying to hide anything from Leonard. He could assess a being, regardless of species, from across a room. He'd already proven it with me once.

"Hey, Leo, I don't feel so hot this morning," I offered as I handed him his morning coffee. We'd got into the habit of sitting in on the nursing personnel report and then meeting for our own report each morning at the beginning of Alpha shift. My initial assessment of him was dead on the money. He was all prickles and spurs on the outside, but he cared deeply about each member of his medbay team, and deeper for his friends. Which was why it surprised me that he barely glanced at me before speaking.

"You haven't been getting enough exercise. The artificial atmo and gravity on the ship isn't quite perfect, and your body is losing muscle mass." He didn't even look up.

"Okay, hot shot, but if you knew that already, why didn't you say anything?" I sputtered. He smirked a little and took a long drink of his coffee.

"Because I knew you would eventually notice and ask," he shrugged. "It takes most folks about six weeks, so you're ahead of the game, kid."

"So all I need to do is get a little extra exercise, and I'll start to perk up?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Leonard shook his head and rose with a heavy sigh.

"I'm gonna give you a shot of vitamins. We'll run labs on you tomorrow and tinker with your electrolyte balance after we know what's doing. Once we've got you fixed up, then you'll meet with a trainer about setting up a proper exercise program." He held the hypo to my neck and I tried not to flinch as he injected me.

"I supposed I'm stuck with the treadmills if I want to run?" I asked. I had been a slow, but enthusiastic runner while at the academy.

"There's a lower deck that is held empty for rescues and the like. You can run on that deck. It's a little too busy on the inhabited decks," he said thoughtfully. "And if you want some hard cardio, climbing the Jefferies tubes is an excellent workout. And you won't be likely to be interrupted."

"Thanks."

"Yeah, well, you're taking almost half the work off my hands these days, kid. I gotta keep you healthy," he joked. "Speaking of which, what's your plan for the day?"

He always asked my plan, and then would maneuver me through a series of questions to force me to review my plan. Somedays, it was the most frustrating exercise of the day. Other days, I was confident and sassy and stuck to my guns. I figured this plan would need reviewing a few times before he was happy with it.

"For some reason I have Spock on my appointment sheet at mid-morning. So I want to review Vulcan anatomy and physiology before he arrives. And after lunch I have three appointments that aren't assessments booked as well, so I'd like to review those personnel charts to see if there's anything ongoing I need to be aware of. Aside from Spock's, I only have four physicals on my schedule, but I do have some charting I could catch up on in my down time," I thought.

"That sounds like a reasonable plan. I don't want you to push yourself too hard today if you're not well. I don't want to risk going a doctor down from overwork," Leonard nodded. I narrowed my eyes. That was way too easy.

"Really?"

"You keep insisting I am a decent man, Bryn. Perhaps you might want to accept that you are correct," he glared, and pushed away from the table. He was a decent man. But I didn't buy that he had no issues with my relaxed approach to the day. There was something more going on.

I didn't have to wait long to find out what. Just prior to Spock's appointment, the klaxon alarms started. "Emergency. Emergency. This is a ship-wide distress warning. Anticipated loss of graviton stabilization imminent." The lights dimmed and turned a flashing red.

I looked up from my PADD at the medbay and saw the entire team spring into action, strapping patients down, and bracing storage lockers. I looked to Leonard for guidance and he raised an eyebrow in triumph at me.

"Come on, kid," he gestured to the side of the medbay he was on. "It's just a drill, but there's always about a half dozen personnel who end up with lacerations and broken bones. You prep the triage bays, and I'll get hypos and laceration trays ready."

"What about the gravity turning off?" I asked, breathing deeply to force calm back on me. He smiled.

"Ours and the bridge is the last to go, we've got about five minutes." He was already pulling supplies as he spoke. I pulled magnetic trays out and brought them to him, and made sure the treatment bays had all the emergency supplies they needed in the storage lockers. I was ensuring that the gurney straps were in good condition when the gravity went, and my eyes went wide as I grabbed for the exam table, and held on. Leonard floated by, carrying laceration trays and tray of hypos. He dropped the magnetic trays on the storage lockers one by one, floating between them with ease. I closed my eyes, feeling a wave of nausea crash across me.

"You're green enough to make me think you've got Vulcan blood in you," Leonard teased, clapping his hand on my shoulder as he passed me. I shook my head and readjusted my grip on the exam table. I'd hated all our anti-gravity simulations at the Academy for exactly this reason, but had become really good at finding out when they were scheduled so I could make sure I had anti-nausea meds in me. And I'd spent my entire training cruise on the Pasteur on meds as a precaution. I couldn't do that for five years.

Leonard floated past again and grabbed me, pressing a hypo to my neck. I winced at the blast, but my nausea settled nearly instantly. "Thanks," I swallowed.

"Not really your day, is it, kid?" He teased. "It should be over shortly. My advice is to let go and enjoy the ride."

"I couldn't possibly," I shook my head.

"We only need one control freak on this ship, kid, and Jim outranks you," he pointed out. "Don't make me get him to float down here right now to order you to let go."

"All due respect, McCoy, I'm not letting go." If I could have dug in my heels, I would have. As they were floating somewhere near the ceiling, I couldn't.

"I'll let it go this time, Erikssen, but next time, I expect you to float," he nodded. The klaxon alarms stopped, and the all clear rang.

"Attention all personnel, this is your captain speaking. Gravity will gradually return over the course of the next 45 seconds. Thank you for a successful drill. Kirk out."

I closed my eyes and waited for the falling sensation I remembered from being aboard the Pasteur, but it never came. I just slowly became aware that I could move my legs under me and just as I got them directly below me, they hit the floor. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, and found myself staring into McCoy's.

"You're pretty tightly strung, kid," he commented. "I don't normally order my staff to blow off some steam, but when we get to the starbase next week, I'm going to insist you take a load off."

"That's really not necessary," I protested.

"I think it is," he argued. "You're not at the academy anymore, kid. You're done. You've qualified. You finished with distinction. You said when you first came on the ship that you weren't entirely sure who you were anymore, and I think that's the issue. You need to shrug off the mantle of student, and step into your future as a Starfleet doctor."

"But I don't really know who that is," I argued.

"So let go of some of the baggage weighing you down and see what happens when you float," he ordered. He picked up his PADD and furrowed his brow, pecking away at it with one finger before looking back up at me. "You and I have a date after shift today."

"A what?" My eyes widened. Leonard McCoy could be so gruff that while I was almost sure he didn't mean a romantic event, I couldn't be sure. It wouldn't surprise me at all if that was how he announced his intentions when he wanted to take someone out for dinner.

"A date. After work," he repeated.

"A date date?" I asked. His eyes widened.

"Good lord, woman, no!" He exclaimed. He squared his shoulders and frowned. "We have an appointment together. Don't make any other plans."

"Okay because I kinda don't think it's wise to date my superior officer," I stumbled. We didn't need to talk about the huge nerd crush I was developing on him. He laughed.

"You're not exactly my type, kid." He patted me on the head, a sassy little smirk on his face.

"Yeah, you're kind of too old for me anyhow," I shot back. He held his hand to his chest in mock horror.

"You wound me!"

"You'll live," I shrugged. "Trust me, I'm a doctor."

XXX

I wrapped up my charting and rose with a stretch and yawn. I was still a little drowsy from the hypo for the nausea, but not as nauseated at the ensign who had been my last physical. He'd thrown up on me. I couldn't even be angry because I'd been there before, and if it hadn't been for Leonard's hypo, I might have wound up there again. But my uniform had been tossed in the medbay laundry hamper, and I was charting in my undershirt. Well, now I was stretching in my undershirt.

The medbay doors slid open and Kirk walked in. Leonard didn't panic at his appearance, so I assumed he must have been expected. "Jim," he acknowledged. "Okay, Bryn, I'll meet you at your quarters in half an hour." He turned to leave. Kirk smiled and nodded at Leonard and turned to follow when he caught me mid-stretch.

"Lieutenant Erikssen, where is your uniform?" He asked. I pointed at the laundry hamper.

"Ensign Rammage was struggling with some residual nausea as a result of the graviton stabilizer drill this morning," I explained.

"And he took your uniform?" Kirk asked.

"No, he puked all down the front of me," I laughed. Kirk looked at Leonard and then back at me before turning to follow Leonard out of medbay.

"Don't you think you should give her more than a half hour before you pick her up for a date? She's been vomited on," Kirk asked as they left.

"Dammit, Jim, it's not a date!" he exclaimed. "She is my subordinate. And while you may have no problems flouting that particular rule, I happen to like the kid, and want her to stay on board. God knows if I were to flirt with her, it would likely drive her off the ship."

I suppressed a giggle and put away the charting I'd finished before headed to my own quarters to clean up before Leonard arrived. The sonic shower did a good job of cleaning, but it was hard to accept that I was as clean as though I'd been under a hot water shower back in my dorm. I was sure I'd eventually get used to it again. I thought about what I'd overheard McCoy say to Kirk as we'd left medbay and thought it was sad that he thought so little of himself that he'd think I'd be run off by his flirtation. He was a nice looking guy, he was smart and he had a soft side that he only really let you see once he liked and trusted you. So far I'd seen it only as the kindness he'd afforded me as my mentor. But I saw the way he fussed over the command officers, and despite his assertion that he wasn't fond of Spock, even his most prickly comments were made with a mind to help Spock bridge some of the weirder quirks of human behaviour that he would otherwise have struggled with.

The door chimed and I called him in as I combed my hair. It was probably the first time he'd seen it down.

"I think maybe the captain was right, a half hour isn't long after being puked on," I laughed. "I'm sorry I'm not ready."

Leonard McCoy wasn't a man to ramble on endlessly just to hear his own voice, but he wasn't often completely silent. And he still hadn't greeted me. I looked up from restraining my wild blonde curls in a braid and noticed he looked like he'd seen a ghost. And he was staring. I smiled, suddenly nervous.

"Are you alright, Leonard?" I asked. He blinked and looked at me, finally seeing me.

"You look like someone I met a while ago. I mean, I didn't exactly meet her, but I definitely saw her," he stumbled. "When did you start wearing your contacts again?"

"They were waiting when I got off shift, but they don't feel like they're fitted properly to my eyes We'll see how they do this afternoon, but I might just stick with my glasses until I can convince my CMO to approve me for the corrective surgery," I teased as I pulled my boots back on. "So tell me about this girl you used to know. I need to know if my doppelganger represented me well."

"I didn't really know her. It was," he paused and looked at me again, tilting his head. "You know what? It's not important. You don't really look that much like her after all."

"Okay," I shrugged. "Where are we headed?" Leonard led me to the turbolift and selected one of the floors that didn't have any personnel assigned to it. We stepped off into darkness, but the motion sensors lit the halls as we walked through them.

"I'm taking advantage of this opportunity to show you the corridors you can run in if you don't like the treadmills," he started, "but the real reason I've brought you down here is because I've made arrangements with Scotty to drop the gravity on this level. You need to be comfortable when it goes. I can't have you white-knuckling your way through a five year mission."

I felt my stomach fall like the gravity had increased. Leonard led me into a spacious room that had nothing in it. "I appreciate the thought, Leo -"

"It's my responsibility as you superior officer and the CMO on this ship to ensure that you are duty-capable at all times. Your response during the drill today was unacceptable," he interrupted. "So we'll be doing this three times a week together until you start feeling more comfortable."

"And if I throw up?"

"Just not on my shoes," he shrugged. He opened his communicator and hailed Scotty. "Scotty, we're in the cargo hold."

"Aye, commander. Loss of gravity in 15 seconds," Scotty's voice was tinny through the small speaker. The walls were smooth, leaving me nothing to cling to, and as I felt my feet start to lift from the floor, I felt panic welling up in my chest. I reached out, looking for Leonard, but couldn't see him.

"Leonard." It was barely a whisper. I looked down and watched as the floor grew further and further away from me. I looked over my shoulder trying to see where McCoy was and started spinning slowly. "Leonard!"

He spun past me. "Relax, kid. Go for a ride. I'll let you in on a little secret. I hate space. I hate transports. I hate the teleporter. Mostly I just hate space. It's dark, and dangerous, and there's a new disease lurking around every corner. And I have to keep this entire crew healthy. But I love this."

"You love having no control over your body?" I squawked, wrenching myself around to try to follow his movements. All I wound up doing was sending myself spinning in the other direction, faster.

"I have just as much control right now as I do when I am walking around in full gravity. It just takes looking at it differently," he laughed. "Look, kid, I've seen your physics marks, I know you can figure out how to move yourself, if you relax long enough to think."

"I think I hate you, Dr. McCoy," I growled, trying to slow the spin I was in. I wound up turning, slowly, head over feet. It was almost soothing compared to the spinning. I took a deep breath and thought about what Leonard said and tried moving again, but set myself in a flipping spinning motion that was rapidly making me want to throw up. He floated over to me and stopped, taking one of my hands in his.

"How are you doing?"

"Cloudy with a chance of emesis," I managed through gritted teeth.

"Think about the clouds, and not the emesis," he teased. "You need to just float. That's all. Float. Get used to the idea of floating. We have five years to work up to moving."

"Gravity will be slow on in the next minute," Scotty's voice came through the communicator. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, not wanting to watch the floor coming toward me, no matter how slow. Leonard kept hold of my hand, and pushed gently on my hip to pivot my feet below me. My feet touched back on solid ground with a gentle thud and I realized I was holding my breath. I looked down and opened my eyes, and was reassured by how solid the floor was.

"You did good, kid," Leonard offered.

"Well," I corrected.

"And you're already sassy again," he chuckled. "So it can't have been that bad." A drop of water splashed on my boots and I looked up at the ceiling, wondering where it came from, and then realized I was crying. I glared at Leonard, and when he saw the tears on my cheeks, his demeanor softened, and he gathered me into his arms.

"I hate you," I mumbled into his chest.

"Come on now, kid, get yourself together." He patted my back. "You did well, and you faced your fear. Let me buy you a drink."

"You buy me a drink and this is totally a date." I was able to gather myself enough to tease him. He let go of me and shook his head. I followed him to the turbolift.

"It's not a date," he protested, picking the cantina level. "I'm buying you a drink so you'll stop with that crying. But not too quickly, kid. I have a reputation to uphold, and bringing you into the cantina in tears will solidify my asshole cred."

"You're not an asshole, Leo," I laughed, wiping my eyes as we stepped off the turbolift. "And you certainly wouldn't frighten me if you decided to flirt." I arched an eyebrow and stepped off the lift into the bar and waved at Nyota. I glanced back at saw Leonard step off the turbolift slackjawed. He headed over to the bar and ordered drinks for us, but before he could meet me at the table I'd found, Captain Kirk slid into the seat across from me.

"Lieutenant Erikssen, have you done something with your hair?" he asked. I touched my hair, wondering if the braid had come loose in the anti-gravity. It was still in the braided bun at the nape of my neck. I blinked against the gritty sensation of my contacts and realized it was my glasses that he was noticing. Rather, the lack of glasses.

"Oh, I got my new contact lenses today," I offered. "Don't get use to the look though, they're really not fitting well. I'm going to see if Dr. McCoy will approve corrective surgery."

"Dr. McCoy should be -"

"Dr. McCoy has already decided to approve the procedure, Jim," Leonard interrupted, pulling up a third chair and dropping a glass in front of me. It was an opaque yellow colour and I took a sip. Whatever it was, it was good.

"Thanks, Leo," I said. "What is this?"

"Vodka, lime, and soda," he replied. "And are you thanking me for the drink or for saying I'll approve the surgery?"

"Why, Leo," I purred, placing my hand over his. He flushed. "I'm thanking you for the lovely date." Kirk choked on his drink, coughing suddenly.

"Dammit Jim!" Leonard exclaimed, clapping his friend on the back.

"Date?" Kirk coughed. I laughed. "Was it truly a date?"

"He took me to level 7 and had Scotty turn the gravity off because I sucked during the drill today," I explained. "Don't worry, sir. You're still the only being on the ship who's flirting with me."

"Don't sound so disheartened by that, Lieutenant," Kirk smiled. "I am the captain, after all."

"It doesn't hurt that you're so damn cute," I teased with a wink. Kirk scowled and then his eyes widened and he stared at me.

"Not cute. Never cute. Cute is for bunnies. And kittens." He spoke slowly, watching me. My breath caught. It was too familiar to be a coincidence.

"Should I have said rugged instead?" I asked, suddenly flashing back to graduation, and the stranger in the bar. "Oh. My. God. Jim? Jim-from-the-bar-Jim?" I felt the colour drain from my face as a satisfied smile stretched across the captain's face.

"Pardon my forwardness," he pulled the tie on my hair and flicked his fingers through my hair. He nodded. "Do you still have my shirt?"

I closed my eyes and sighed. Not good. "Oh shit," I breathed. "I'm just going to go now. I'll see you tomorrow, Leonard." I took every last reserve of courage I had to look at McCoy without bursting into tears again.

McCoy had been watching the exchange like the cat who'd caught the canary and he nodded. "Sure thing, kid."

I rose, smoothed down the front of my shirt and clenched my jaw, nodding at both Leonard and the captain. I waved at Nyota again as I forced myself to walk, not run, from the cantina. I was just rounding the corner to my quarters when Kirk caught up to me.

"Did you realize, when you came aboard?" He asked, stopping me from entering my room. I shook my head.

"I thought you and Leonard looked familiar, but once Uhura told me who you were, I figured it was because of your reputation," I replied.

"Because of the Narada, and Khan," he prompted. I laughed.

"Because you slept with half of the cadet corps while you were at the academy," I corrected. "I figured I'd probably seen you around at some point, even if I hadn't met you."

"I was that forgettable?" He asked. "The night before we left?"

"You and I were both pretty trashed," I shook my head. "I didn't exactly get a clear look at you before I did my walk of shame. I didn't want to risk waking you."

He looked crestfallen. "An honourable man doesn't take advantage of a woman when she's drunk."

"Yeah, I remember you saying that then too," I nodded. "To be fair, from what little I recall, we thoroughly took advantage of each other. I was just as complicit in that. Consent works both ways, Captain."

"Considering the circumstances, I think it would be alright if you called me Jim when we are alone." His cheeks were a little pink. I wondered if he was as embarrassed as I was.

"Sir, uh, Jim," I started. "Just so we are clear, I don't usually just go home with strange men."

"Even if you did, I'm not exactly in a place where I could judge," he smiled. "I liked you then, Erikssen. I think I'd like you now, if you actually let me in."

"Into my room, or into my life?" I asked, simply. He smiled.

"One or the other. You decide." He put the ball in my court, and I'm not even ashamed to say I liked it.

"Why don't you come in, Captain?" I smirked, opening my door and gesturing for him to enter. "For a nightcap?"

He looked down the hallway in both ways before stepping into my room. So discretion was going to be the better part of valour apparently. I followed and watched as he walked around my room, looking at the few knick-knacks I'd brought along with me. He stopped and looked at a print I'd hung on the wall in the first few days I'd been there.

"Have you read Don Quixote?" He asked. The Picasso was my favourite art piece, the stark contrast of the black on white striking me as powerful.

"I have," I nodded.

"You've got a hidden complexity to you, Erikssen," he smiled.

"Not really. I just like good art," I shrugged, pouring us both a finger of scotch. I handed him a glass and held mine up, waiting for him before drinking. He smiled.

"To new friends," he offered.

"To going home with strange men," I teased and tapped my glass against his before taking a sip. We stood there awkwardly, looking at one another. I'm not sure if he was waiting for me to make the first move, if he was worried that if he did, I would be able to argue that he was my captain and I felt I couldn't say no. Or if he was just waiting for the right moment to make his move. I bit my lip and stepped closer to him, pushing my hair out of my face. He looked at my mouth and then looked into my eyes, before his eyes flashed back down to my mouth. I put my glass down, and without looking away from me, he did the same. Then his mouth was on mine and I remembered exactly why I'd stayed the night. He was damn good. His arms came around me and he pressed me into the wall, our lips tangling. Just as suddenly as he'd started kissing me, he stopped and pulled back.

"I don't want you to feel as though I'm using my position -"

I pulled his mouth back to mine, sliding my tongue along his lower lip. "You talk too much, Jim." He groaned and met my tongue with his own, his hands moving down to the hem of my shirt. He hesitated for a second, and seemed to find himself, tugging up. I lifted my arms and allowed our mouths to separate momentarily as he pulled the shirt over my head.

"Starfleet needs to get rid of these undershirts," he complained against my mouth as his hands dropped to the form-fitting performance wear shirt we were required to wear under our uniforms. I laughed and pushed him away from me.

"You get yours, I'll get mine," I tugged the hem of my shirt, and pulled it over my head easily, and quickly enough that I was able to watch him pull his own shirt and undershirt off. Shirtless was a good look for the man. Before I could really reflect on finding medical reasons for Kirk to be shirtless at all times, he was wrapping his arms around me again. His lips trailed down my neck and his hands ground into my hips, pulling me close to him. His hand slid down under my pants, his fingers digging into the flesh of my hips. I pulled away and dragged him toward the bed.

"Are you sure, Erikssen?" He asked, pausing at the bedside.

"I think you could probably call me Bryn, Jim." I pulled him against me and fell back against the mattress.

Our hands were everywhere, all over one another, exploring in a way we either hadn't before or couldn't remember doing. He was all hard planes and muscle against my fingertips and as I traced the contours of his skin, I named the muscles under my hands wordlessly, until I traced my fingers along the sharp cut of his lower abs. I growled, I think.

"Grab bars," I murmured. Jim laughed and pulled away from me.

"What did you just say?"

"I like the grab bars," I smiled, pulling him back against me. He shook his head.

"Anatomy wasn't your strong suit?" He teased. I laughed.

"In art, that's called the iliac furrow. Medically? It's the spot where you lower abdominal muscles meet your iliac crest, and is caused by the inguinal ligament, so it doesn't really have a name," I traced my finger along the deep cut at his hip. "But it's a grab bar, plain and simple."

"A grab bar," he repeated.

"Yeah, a grab bar," I confirmed. "You see those, you want to go along for the ride. Grab bars."

Jim shook his head and dipped his head to trail his lips past the swell of my breast, pausing at my navel. "You don't have them." His thumbs dug in.

"I'm rather more soft than you," I laughed. He dragged his teeth across my hip and slipped between my legs. He paused, almost questioning me again, but I didn't give him the chance to ask, instead pulling him against me, my hands tugging at his waist. He thrust into me, and I gasped in response. He paused, and then slowly, began to move against me, grinding into me with precision. I crossed my ankles at his back, and pulled him against me. The rough movement caused him to smirk and he started pistoning his hips against mine with more force. I reached around and grabbed his ass. It was perfection. He growled and dropped against me, his weight forcing the air out of me in a rush. It changed the angle of his hips and I let out an involuntary squeal. His mouth covered mine, and his hands found mine and held them above my head.

"I don't need to tell you the walls in this ship are paper thin, do I?" He laughed. I untangled my fingers and swatted him.

"You surprised me!" I gasped as he continued thrusting. I started to feel short of breath and that funny tingle started low in my belly. With a few more forceful thrusts, I felt the muscles of my body tightening and finally, explosive release. I dug my teeth into his shoulder to prevent screaming, as his thrusts became shorter and faster and then his hot release followed and he fully collapsed against me. He rolled to one side, dropping a gentle kiss on my collarbone, and draping an arm across my abdomen.

"I've gotta say, I wish I remembered our first encounter more clearly. By all indications, we're quite compatible," he smiled, and pushed my hair out of my eyes. I knew I was already flushed, but I felt like I might have been blushing anyhow. I'd just screwed my boss. Technically, he was my boss's boss, but the buck stopped at Jim Kirk where it came to anything on the Enterprise. I pulled the sheet across me, and flipped the edge across Jim's legs, covering both of us. He rolled onto his side, propping himself up with one hand. His eyes narrowed in contemplation.

"You're staring." I squirmed a little under his gaze.

"You're beautiful." It was a simple comment. I looked away and shook my head. I hated that kind of attention. It only ever led to problems.

"I'm more than a pretty face, Jim," I chastised him.

"Yes," he nodded. "I know. Top of your class. And top of your pre-med class. There's a questionable couple of years in the middle that I'm sure have a story. You received an accolade for your work during your training cruise on the Pasteur. You are, in short, the perfect cadet. The question is then twofold: are you really the perfect cadet, or are you hiding something no one knows about? And what motivates a cadet to be so thorough and so precise in her work?"

"There's nothing special about me, Jim." I forced a laugh. I knew he was only speculating playfully about having hidden secrets, but he wasn't far from the truth. And it was that secret that had driven everything about my time as a cadet. I needed to be so good that if I was ever found out, the superintendent would have to weigh my record against my transgression. Hiding a child really wasn't a serious offence, it was just an inconvenient amount of paperwork. The freedom of focussing on my studies, secure in the knowledge that Katie was well cared for by my parents allowed me to give her the best future possible, whereas the pressure of having her with me might have been too much for me. In those moments I'd nearly washed out, the additional stress of worrying about Katie's well-being might have forced my hand, and I would have wound up back in Reykjavik, no better for having left.

His smile was bemused and he shook his head. "I think you know that's wrong."

"Enough," I laughed, easily this time. "This is a horrible game. If I'm too modest, you'll accuse me of lacking confidence, and if I'm too confident, you'll think I'm arrogant!"

"I'm hardly in a position to fault someone for arrogance," he chuckled, and pulled me close to him. "But if your head gets too big, I'll let you know." He dropped his lips to my forehead and reached above the bed to turn the lights off. I didn't mind him staying the night, but I did lay awake for a while wondering how awkward it would be to hand him his clothes and send him on his way. It was a conversation for another time. If this were to happen again. Which was obviously going to be another conversation. Once I was sure he was asleep, I wiggled free of his arm, and rolled onto the far side of the bed. I'd never been a snuggly sleeper.


	5. Chapter 5

I could not move when I woke up, and was so disoriented by the weird weight across my waist that I momentarily panicked. And then I remembered Jim. Jim-from-the-bar who was also Jim-my-captain who was also apparently Jim-who-had-me-pinned-in-bed. He groaned, and stretched his arm above his head before burrowing his head at the nape of my neck and making a noise that sounded a little like a purr.

"Mmm. Good morning."

"Jim, Alpha starts in forty minutes," I whispered.

"No time to revisit past sins then." He sounded genuinely disappointed as he pushed himself up to sitting. I pulled the sheet over myself and slipped off to the bathroom. I was in the sonic when I heard him step into the bathroom and run the water at the sink. I lingered in the shower, suddenly shy about him seeing me naked by the harsh light of day. I mean, there is no harsh daylight in space, it's all artificial day cycles, but the lights were on and I bore the marks of a mother. Not exactly something I wanted Jim seeing quite yet. Not as my lover, not as my captain.

He must have sensed my shyness because he didn't wait around in the bathroom, and was dressed by the time I reemerged. He was waiting for me. I raised an eyebrow in question.

"Don't do that, you look too much like Spock," he laughed. "It felt awkward to just dress and run. I don't want this to be awkward."

"This?" I was a little dumbfounded.

"This." He gestured to the room, the bed, him and me. "I don't want whatever we are doing to be weird."

"Right. Okay," I paused. "Yeah. Okay." I wasn't sure what else I should say. He smiled and leaned forward, brushing his lips across mine.

"I will see you later," he breathed across my cheek and it gave me shivers.

"I would like for this to not be really overt, Jim." I didn't want people thinking the new kid was getting preferential treatment because she was banging the captain. Actually, I just didn't want people thinking I'd fallen into the captain's bed within the first month of our cruise.

"I wouldn't dream of making it public knowledge," he reassured me, smooth and smiling. "After all, I'm the captain."

"As long as we're clear," I nodded. "Now if you'll excuse me, Leo is a hardass and if I am late, I will hear about it."

"He adores you."

"He'll still take it out of me," I laughed, breezing through the door. I just made it into medbay with enough time to make Leonard his coffee. Mine was still in the replicator when he entered. He looked at me and smirked, taking his coffee from me with the cheesiest grin on his face that I'd ever seen. He looked completely ridiculous, and I realized that he'd spent years cultivating his cranky face just so he wouldn't look like a complete dork.

The grin didn't budge during report. It didn't move when he led me into his office. It didn't so much as twitch when I spilled my coffee out of nerves. I sat down, feeling defeated. How he could have known that Kirk and I had wound up together was beyond me.

"I was pretty sure when you handed me your orders that you'd been the morning after the night before girl," he commented. "But I was absolutely sure when I saw you without your glasses."

"And you didn't think to warn me?" I gasped.

"Jim is my closest friend, kid," he started. "Why would I warn you?"

"To spare me the mortification of how I'd discovered I'd had a one-nighter with my captain before I even knew he was my captain?" I blurted. He laughed outright.

"No," he shook his head. "You both needed to figure it out on your own. If I'd been worried Jim would be upset, I would have warned you. But he seemed pretty pleased with how things turned out when he left the cantina last night."

"Oh?"

"Don't act like you're innocent, darling. You look more tired than usual, and," he pulled down the edge of my undershirt at my neck and smirked again, "a little bit of bruising. I have a salve for that."

"Have I mentioned how much I hate you, Leo?" I asked. He laughed again, and this time his smile was more natural, not the idiotic shit-eating grin from before. He was such a handsome man when he smiled.

"I must be doing my job right," he winked. "Now let's get your labs drawn."

I pursed my lips and sighed. "Really? You knew just by looking at me what was wrong. Why do you need labs?"

"Because I'm your doctor, damnit, not a magician. You know I need diagnostics to confirm any treatment plan," he snapped, drawing my blood with confidence. I followed him through all the steps to check his initial diagnosis, and when he clenched his jaw, I felt a small tingle of worry.

"What's wrong?"

"Something isn't adding up here," he murmured. "Climb onto the imager, kid."

I followed his direction with some nervousness. He watched the scanner as it ran the length of my body and squinted at the readout like he didn't like what he'd seen. I started to feel a little panicky when he pulled the curtain around us and sighed. "Can you take your uniform off? Just the top," he asked. I flushed. It didn't matter that I had fallen into bed with Jim a second time, I'd been developing a weird crush on Leonard since the first day I'd been on the Enterprise. Thankfully I was pretty sure his feelings stopped at the mentor level. I tried to act cool as I pulled my shirt over my head, but I'd never learned a way to prevent blushing.

"Good god, woman, I'm your doctor. Relax," he snapped. I laughed.

"I'm weird about anyone seeing me unclothed," I admitted, lying back on the table.

"You're clothed enough that no one would look sideways at a beach, other than to think you had too much on," he growled, and began palpating my abdomen. The man had a repertoire of unhappy facial expressions that defied description, and he cycled through a number of them slowly as his fingers pressed and dug into my flesh. He sighed and crossed his arms, looking thoughtfully at me. "You're what? 28? 29?"

"27," I corrected, pulling my undershirt back on.

"I didn't see anything in your personnel file about children," he started.

"Because there isn't anything in my personnel file about children," I confirmed. I hoped it was enough that he would drop it, but even if he did, I didn't think it would be because he believed me, but because he recognized it was a no-go topic.

"Bryn, if I'm your doctor, I expect honesty from you about your medical history." His tone was gruffer than usual, and I sighed. "Was there a pregnancy?"

I paused, and adjusted my undershirt. When I couldn't justify not answering or not looking at him, I met his gaze with my own. "Yes."

"You have a huge amount of scar tissue around your uterus," he offered, ostensibly as justification for wanting to know about my reproductive history.

"The endometriosis is in my history," I countered, raising an eyebrow.

"It usually resolves with pregnancy, and doesn't recur. Your abdominal scans show new scar tissue development over the resolved scar tissue. I'm going to do a further investigation of your hormones to rule anything else out," he nodded. "I'm not interested in your medical history for anything other than the medical relevance, Bryn. If there's anything else you've withheld in your Starfleet admission, I'd like to know about it."

"That's the big one. Anything else I left out was accidental," I replied honestly.

"If anything else comes up, just go ahead and toss it in your file," he recommended. "I won't write you up for this one. You must have had a reason to hide this. Do you require any other follow-up as a result of it?" I realized he assumed I'd either lost or terminated the pregnancy, and he was trying to dance around whether I needed counselling.

"Nothing that is unresolved." Except for the existence of my daughter, I thought.

XXX

We'd discovered a new planet. I tried to be cool about it because everyone else was acting like it was no big deal, and I guess they were right. We were just filling mission parametres. But it was so cool. There was life on the planet. Life, I was reminded, that we couldn't interact with because it violated the Prime Directive. So Chekov plotted its location, an away team investigated as much of the planet as was reasonable, and we continued on our way toward Proxima B to drop off a crate of vaccinations.

Proxima B had been the first Earth colony. When the warp drive was first successfully tested, the thought of a similar planet so close to earth but in a different solar system was too enticing to ignore. So after a number of trial missions to Mars, which was an inhabitable, unrelenting planet, sights were set on Proxima B. Was there life there? It was in the goldilocks belt, a term used to describe planets that are at an optimal distance from their sun - not too hot, not too cold, likely having liquid water. It turned out there wasn't much in the way of intelligent life on the planet, but it was abundant in all the things an Earth colony would need.

Leonard had informed me that we would take a transport to the surface and give some much needed education and inservicing to the Proxima B doctors. I was nervous about that. As a brand new doctor, what could I possibly be teaching these experienced colonial doctors?

"That's exactly it, kid," Leonard reassured me. "You are brand new. You have all the latest techniques, and are aware of all the newest innovations in treatment and medication."

"I feel sick."

"Not quite so easy," he laughed. "Besides, it was only last week when you showed me that new technique for dissolving kidney and gallstones. You'll be a real benefit to the medical away team."

"I have my doubts, but you are the boss," I laughed.

"I would have thought by now you'd trust me," he teased. Three times a week he was dragging me into anti-gravity drills, and I hadn't died yet, as he was so fond of pointing out. I trusted him with my safety, without question. I said as much, and he laughed again, walking back to his office. He was obviously done with boosting my ego for the day.

I tried to suppress my anxiety about teaching and went to check charts. We had two inpatients in medbay. One was an ensign who had presented with a cardiac arrhythmia that the tricorder couldn't diagnose. On further investigation, we discovered that he actually had a birth defect that hadn't been seen in over a hundred years on earth, and had been missed during every physical and assessment while he was at the Academy. Leonard had given him a pill that started the regeneration of the mitral valve, but we'd kept him just to keep an eye on him. It was one of those cases that required reading about techniques from hundreds of years ago.

"Ensign Blackwater, how are you feeling this morning?" I asked as I looked over the reading from the tricorder. Everything looked to be good. I checked the scans, and saw the mitral valve had finished reforming and looked exactly as it should.

"Good," he smiled. "Last night was the first time I've slept well in ages."

"On a medbay bed? That's unheard of!" I laughed. "You're looking good, Ensign. Did you know that back in the old days, they would use the mitral valve of a pig to fix this defect?"

"They didn't!" He exclaimed. "That seems barbaric!"

"You know, if there's anything I learned in my med history classes it's that everything old becomes new again at some point. Hopefully I'll never need to slaughter a pig so I can replace your mitral valve, but there's a lot of general wound treatments that have been going in and out of favour since the medieval times," I laughed. "Anyhow, I'm sure you'd like to get back to your own room. We'll leave a monitor probe on you, but I think you can be released on your own recognisance. Two more days of rest, then a few days of light duty and you should be perfectly fit."

"I'm sure Scotty will appreciate hearing that," Blackwater smiled. "I can go?"

"Get out of here before I change my mind." I nodded. I proceeded on to my next patient and checked her overnight scans. She'd been working in the botany labs and somehow managed to ingest Borgia plant. We'd had to analyse the toxin in the plant to come up with an antidote, and she'd come dangerously close to dying before we finally synthesized a treatment. She was still weak and needed assistance with day to day activities like mobilization and bathing. But I was beginning to wonder if she wasn't malingering, as I'd caught her up when I'd popped back into medbay after forgetting my PADD the previous night. Any time Leonard assessed her though, he seemed to think she was just barely managing.

"Lieutenant Graves, how are you feeling this morning?" I asked as I walked into her room. She was laying on her side, head propped up with one hand, other hand placed provocatively on her hip. When she saw it was me, she scrambled to lay back in a more neutral position. I hadn't missed that the way she'd positioned herself had offered and uninhibited view of her cleavage, and more of her upper thigh than I cared to see.

"I'm so tired this morning," she began. "I never should have tried walking to the toilet last night."

"You seemed to be doing quite well when I found you," I commented as I flipped through her scans. Everything was normal, as it had been the previous two days. Her muscles weren't showing any sign of fatigue, according to the tricorder. And with a quick glance at her, I was able to tell she'd styled her hair and put on makeup before I'd entered the room.

"I pushed too hard, Doctor Erikssen," she shook her head. "I was so hoping to impress Leon- uh, Doctor McCoy this morning." She barely caught herself in the familiarity. I fought the urge to raise my eyebrow and nodded.

"Doctor McCoy is busy this morning arranging an educational opportunity for doctors on Proxima B," I explained. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"That's too bad," she said. Her eyes widened when she realized what she'd said and she scrambled to find words. "I mean, it's too bad he's so busy taken away from patients. Leaving you on your own like this."

I smiled. "I think we'll get the physiotherapist to help you ambulate this morning, Lieutenant. You should be ready for discharge by this afternoon."

"But I'm Doctor McCoy's patient," she protested. "Shouldn't he be making that decision?"

I laughed. "Like you said, he's left me in charge of medbay while he fulfils the duties of the CMO today."

I noted my orders, and checked in with nursing as to whether anything had come up while I'd been with my two patients.

"Your slate is open," Nurse Chapel handed me the appointment PADD. Sure enough, there was nothing on it.

"Surely we aren't done all those crew physicals?" I asked. She nodded.

"Your last one was yesterday. From here on out, it's actual medical needs. And there's no one in need right now," she confirmed.

"Well, in that case, I guess I should check in with Doctor McCoy."

Leonard was poring over his PADD, his brow furrowed in what looked to be combination of frustration and concentration. "You didn't tell me we'd finished the physicals," I accused.

"Didn't think it would be that exciting to you," he commented without looking up.

"Are you kidding? I would have gone on a tear last night," I laughed. "Well, in as much as I can on this ship. I would have rolled in this morning with a pair of sunglasses and begged for a potassium hypo."

Leonard stopped scowling at his PADD and looked up, scowling at me. "That reminds me, we need to fix your eyes."

"Not today, we don't," I refused. I was nervous about the procedure. Nervous enough I'd seen the ship's optometrist to see if I could be fitted for a different pair of contact lenses. Leonard shook his head.

"You may be under the impression that this is a democracy, kid, but the buck stops with me. I approved that procedure at least two weeks ago and you've been stalling ever since. It takes less than fifteen minutes," he snapped. My jaw tensed.

"I've got new contacts on order," I protested. He shook his head.

"You don't, I cancelled that requisition when I saw it," he replied. "You'll need to be monitored for the duration of Alpha and part of Beta, but if you would just allow me to do it now, you'd be back in your bunk before dinner."

"If I allow you?" I cocked an eyebrow in question.

"You can allow me, or I can order you," he explained. "I like the working relationship we've developed, Bryn, and I don't want to order you to do anything. But I will."

"Fine," I conceded. "On one condition."

"That is?"

"Discharge Lieutenant Graves before she starts planning your wedding," I begged. Leonard's eyes widened.

"She's what?"

"She's malingering because she's got the hots for you, Leo. She wasn't happy with my discharge orders. I think you need to go discharge her," I explained. Leonard's ears went pink and he mumbled something I couldn't understand. "Or ask her for a drink, if you like her, I don't care. But get her out of the medbay. She's taking up time and resources."

"She's my patient, Bryn," he grumbled. "And she's hardly my type. But I'll talk to her."


	6. Chapter 6

"Damnit, Bones, what have you done to her?" It was Jim's voice. I tried to blink. I felt my eyelids move. Everything remained black. I felt panic begin to rise in my chest, and blinked again. I reached up to my face, and felt my hands grabbed and held in strong familiar ones.

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic to Septracillin? It's the standard prophylactic antibiotic for postoperative ophthalmic surgeries, and there was no mention of it in her record!" Leonard hissed. "Bryn, you aren't blind." His voice was gentler than I'd ever heard it.

The words were like a balm, and I calmed. "Why can't I see?"

"Your records say nothing about any beta-lactam, or sulfa allergy," he countered.

"Because I'm not allergic to any drugs," I replied. "So why can't I see?"

"The histamine response when we put the ointment in your eyes was nearly instant, they're swollen shut. Should be a few more minutes, and I'll take the compress off," he replied.

"I'm not getting out of our anti-grav drill tonight, am I?" I asked. Leonard laughed.

"I might be able to make an exception," he teased. "Since you were so quick on the uptake with that other issue today. You probably deserve a commendation."

"Why haven't you reported that to me?" Jim demanded. Leonard laughed.

"Bryn just let me know that we had a patient who was not necessarily -"

"She was faking being sicker than she was because she wanted to bone Bones," I interrupted. "No commendation necessary, I was just looking out for my CMO." I wished I was able to wink. It was kind of a crude comment, and they both needed to know I was making a joke and not just being crass. I realized Leonard was still holding my hands away from my face when he let go to move the compress from my face.

"Can you blink, Bryn?"

I opened my eyes slowly. At first, everything was as blurry as it always was when I didn't have my glasses on. I blinked a second time, and everything cleared up. And I could see. I sat up and looked and Leonard in awe. "It worked," I breathed. Jim was standing right beside Leonard. Well, more hovering over Leonard's shoulder.

"Of course it worked, you idiot, it's been a medical procedure for over two hundred years," he snapped. I felt hot tears on my cheeks, and flushed with embarrassment.

"But I can see," I said. I wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Oh for god's sake, woman," Leonard threw up his hands in disgust and started tapping on his PADD. Jim smiled and sat down beside me on the cot, and put his hand on my thigh.

"This calls for a celebration! Dinner tonight?" He asked. "The three of us? You could bring your lovesick patient, if you'd like, Bones."

Leonard flexed his jaw in annoyance and scowled. "I would be happy to join you."

"No plus one?" Jim teased.

"There isn't a single being on this ship that I would like to bring on a double-date with the likes of you two. I'm sure it would be considered torture on most Federation planets," Leonard shot back, smirking.

XXX

"To the doctor who restores sight," Jim toasted, holding up a glass of scotch from his secret stash. I drank to it. I weirdly realized I would miss my glasses, but I was definitely looking forward to being able to see when I woke up. Leonard drank but shook his head.

"It's an ancient procedure, Jim. She should have had it done on entry to Starfleet," he tried to blow off the success of the surgery. Jim wasn't having it.

"Nonsense. All medical successes should be celebrated," he argued.

"We'd spend most of our cruise intoxicated, if that were the case, Jim." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Perhaps we should celebrate Bryn saving you from lustful botanists?" Jim suggested.

"That won't be necessary either." Leonard pursed his lips. "I was never at risk."

"Oh please!" I protested. "You may not have realized she was trying to seduce you, but you certainly would have discovered it had you been the one rounding this morning. She was ready to eat you alive."

"I'm trained in a variety of self-defense skills, I would have managed," he shot back. "And I think you forget, I've been married. I'm well aware of the wiles of women."

"Wiles of women?" I laughed. "You sound like an old man. You can't be that much older than I am."

"I'm a venerable 33." He raised an eyebrow in challenge.

"Oh yes, definitely on the shelf and capable of managing your own affairs then." I rolled my eyes and finished my glass off. We were sitting in Jim's quarters, and I'd been trying very hard to not allow my eyes stray around the wall dividing the living area from his bed. At least arguing with Leonard was keeping my mind on other things. Jim rose and brought a salad over from the replicator. I glanced at it skeptically but filled my plate nonetheless. I wasn't crazy about replicated vegetables. I wasn't really crazy about replicated food, if I was completely honest, but the trade-off was that I was seeing a lot of space and learning under someone who was arguably the best doctor in the fleet. I could live on replicated rations if that was the case.

"Jim, how long will we be on Proxima B? I'm trying to finalize all the inservicing with their medical teams, and they will need to determine travel arrangements for some of their personnel. I'd like to have a final schedule to them by tomorrow afternoon." Leonard effectively changed the subject, distracting Jim from continuing to harass him about his love-life.

"How long do you feel you need?" Jim replied, switching gears into captain mode.

"I'd like at least three days, but if pressed, Bryn and I could teach separately and wrap up in a day and a half," Leonard thought. Jim nodded.

"Three days? Scotty wants to run an antimatter safety drill. Let me check with him about how long he needs." Jim opened his comm and sent a quick message before collecting our plates and bringing out the main course. It was some sort of stew with dumplings floating in it. And it smelled amazing. He put plates in front of us and then checked his comm. "He says no more than two days. Can you team teach part and then do some separate? I don't want to waste time so close to home."

"I can make that work," Leonard smiled at his plate. "This is my grandmother's recipe, I take it? What are you trying to butter me up for?"

"I can't replicate your favourite meal without an ulterior motive?" Jim smiled, faking being scandalized by the suggestion.

"Cough it up, Captain," Leonard demanded, around a mouthful of dumpling. I watched the interaction in amusement.

"You submitted a duty roster change, I want to discuss it," Jim shrugged. I wasn't aware of an imminent rotation change.

"Was there a problem with it?" Leonard arched an eyebrow.

"I noticed that you've kept Bryn on the Alpha shift. If she is struggling to consolidate her skills, I need to be aware of that," Jim glanced at me in apology. "I felt it appropriate to ask while she was present."

"There's nothing wrong with your skills, kid." Leonard patted my shoulder to reassure me. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. "But she is still struggling with the anti-grav drills, to be fair. I've kept her on Alpha for purely selfish reasons. She's who I prefer to work with." I felt myself blush with pride. It felt better than graduating with distinction, if I was honest.

"Excellent, I'm glad it isn't because of a lack of skill." Jim nodded.

"Jim, if she wasn't skilled, would I have her teaching a bunch of old school doctors on Proxima B?"

"That's a fair response." Jim turned his attention to his food and ate. We felt silent, but it wasn't one of those awkward silences. Probably because it was peppered with the occasional comment about how good Leonard's Grandma's stew recipe was. Just no conversation seemed to stick. Leonard and Jim exchanged meaningful glances across the table as we finished, and Leonard cleared his throat and stood.

"If you'll excuse me, I have some scheduling to finish." He laid his napkin beside his plate and shot a look at me. "I will see you in the morning. And we will have a drill tomorrow."

"With bells, on, McCoy." I winked. He rolled his eyes and stepped out the door. Jim smiled at me.

"Can I interest you in another drink, Bryn?" He asked. I nodded.

"Maybe just one."


	7. Chapter 7

I wasn't sure at which point I should extricate myself from Jim's quarters, at the end of Beta shift, when I was more likely to be caught, or sometime in the middle of Gamma, when the corridors would mostly be empty. I hadn't considered that Jim might want me to stay the entire night though. I slept through Beta/Gamma shift change, and when I woke, I crept out of bed, and was carefully collecting my clothes so I could sneak out.

"It will be really obvious if you run out in one of my shirts this time. Command gold is not really your colour." Jim was propped up on one elbow, watching me. I balled up his undershirt and tossed it at him.

"Yeah, it would also scream 'I'm screwing my boss' in a way you just don't really come back from," I retorted as I pulled my pants on. Jim smirked.

"I'm not technically your boss, so unless you're also screwing Bones -"

"With all due respect, Captain, shut your mouth right now," I interrupted. "That's not funny."

"But it's true, Bryn," Jim continued, undeterred. "The CMO is the only officer on the ship who can question my judgement without being insubordinate. Because the CMO is responsible for the well-being of every soul on the ship, just as I am responsible for their safety."

"Ultimately, Jim, you're the captain of the Enterprise, and I am an officer assigned to her. And I would prefer to not be seen sneaking out of your room in disarray in the middle of the night," I shrugged and pulled my undershirt on. He smiled again and patted the bed.

"Then I feel it is my duty to point out it is, in fact, the middle of the night. Come back. Sneak out of my bed in the morning," he tempted. I sighed, and sat at the edge of the bed to pull my boots on. He pushed the hair off my neck and dropped his lips against the skin just below the hairline, making me shiver.

"Jim." I hoped my tone was warning enough.

"Do you really want to go?" He slid his hand down my spine.

"No."

"Then stay." Like it was so simple. I sighed and pulled my other boot on.

"Another night, Jim," I promised, turning to kiss him. "But I have all that prep tomorrow for teaching."

"I'll hold you to it," he vowed. I kissed him again and pulled away, tugging my blue shirt over my undershirt as I walked toward the door. I checked my appearance in the mirror and tied my hair back before stepping out into the dimmed hallway and making my way back to my room.

XXX

"There have to be five hundred people out there," I hissed at Leonard as we sat, side by side, waiting to be introduced for the educational session we were team-teaching on Proxima B.

"Six hundred and thirty four, kid." The bastard actually winked at me.

"In what universe am I actually competent to teach these people?" I whispered, forcing a smile and casual demeanor so that anyone who saw us would think we were just chatting.

"Did you never once present a research paper while you were in med school?" He asked. "I find that hard to believe."

"Of course I did! I presented on -"

"Then shut up and pretend you're being graded." He winked again and stepped up to the podium to introduce us. "Good afternoon, I'm Doctor Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer for the Enterprise. With me today is Doctor Brynhilda Erikssen, recently of Starfleet Academy. Over the next two days, we will be providing educational inservicing on recent advances in the treatment of kidney stones and gallstones. Doctor Erikssen will be providing the bulk of the skills demonstration, as she is fresh and shiny as a new penny, and hasn't had time for skills decay like some of the old farts on the ship." The was a ripple of laughter across the auditorium.

"We've come a long way since the days of the cholycystectomy being the standard procedure for treating gallstones. What was discovered when reviewing postoperative charting on choly patients was that recovery was non-remarkable in most cases, particularly after the popularization of the laparoscopic surgery in the 1990s. But there were still risks associated with the surgery, which led to the popularization of Cholyfuse as a treatment in the late 21st century. Long term studies associated with the drug, however, showed that in 23 percent of cases, the liquifaction of the gallbladder left residual stones in the common bile duct, leading to complications for the patient that included decreased liver function and additional intervention. In addition, quality of life was affected by the inability to store bile, with a large number of patients reporting ongoing symptoms of pain and discomfort after meals," Leonard began. "Similarly, the standard treatment for kidney stones has remained the same for hundreds of years. After the development of laser lithotripsy in the 1980s, advances in the treatment of kidney stones largely stalled, and the argument remains that while lithotripsy is an effective treatment for stones, the real issue is preventing them from forming. Lithotripsy does not prevent new stones from forming, and in fact, in 2173, a groundbreaking study was published that suggested that while lithotripsy remains the best treatment for kidney stones, that 86 percent of patients have a recurrence of stones in the same kidney. Further studies connected residual stone fragments in the kidneys to ongoing stone production. In short, lithotripsy patients would require more lithotripsy because the fragments that did not flush from the kidneys became static and increased in size. Since there's only so much of my voice you folks can hear before falling asleep, I'm going to admit there is a gentle irony to the old doctor giving the history lesson, and turn it over to the young doctor to talk about advances in treatment. Doctor Erikssen?"

I walked over to the podium and shook my head. "Because you're so ancient," I whispered and shook my head. Leonard winked and returned to his seat.

"So what Doctor McCoy has basically explained to us is that we have a strong history in Earth medicine, of crisis-response treatment, without a great deal of emphasis on prophylaxis. In short, we wait until people are sick before we treat them. And while that works for the common cold, it's a rather cavalier approach to the long-term health of our patients. About twenty years ago, Doctor Mizuki Nishida asked a very important question. Why do we think the gallbladder is so unnecessary? Yes, humans can live without their gallbladders, and in fact, we've learned that a number of our alien allies within the Federation do not even have gallbladders. Is the gallbladder truly a vestigial organ in humans, if we can so successfully live without it? What she found was that there was a higher rate of malnourishment amongst humans without gallbladders. But also, a higher rate of obesity. Lowered immune response. And there was some connection between the absence of a gallbladder and certain types of cancer. What she felt, as a result of her research, was that if we could find away to treat gallstones without removing the gallbladder, or even identify those patients at risk of developing them before they even manifest, we would be significantly improving the health of humanity." I stopped to take a drink of water.

"We are still unable to isolate those at risk any better than we could two hundred years ago, however, as a result of Doctor Nishida's study, and subsequent studies spawned by her research, we now have a new way to treat gallstones. And it has also been found safe and approved for the treatment of kidney stones. The treatment is embarrassing in its simplicity. Rather than liquifying the entire gallbladder, as Cholyfuse does, a laser directed injection of a similar medication liquifies the gallstones, and purges the gallbladder of residual bile. A second medication is administered orally, and alters the lining of the gallbladder to repel subsequent stone development. In the case of kidneys, it is slightly more complicated. There is a different drug administered between the two that flushes the kidney of all residual stone debris. What was discovered during the course of the study was that kidneys prone to stones have an altered osmolality than a healthy kidney. As the anatomy of the kidney is significantly different than that of the gallbladder, the secondary medication is also administered by laser, and reverts the kidney back to homogenous osmolality that allows for normal kidney function without development of subsequent stones." I took another sip and continued, breaking down the clinical trials and discussing the procedures. I tried to see if the assembly was listening or sleeping, but couldn't really see past the bright auditorium lights. "I think I can now safely turn this back over to Doctor McCoy."

"Thank you, Doctor Erikssen," Leonard stepped back up to the podium. "Over the next day and a half, you will have the opportunity to learn this procedure from Doctor Erikssen and myself. We're going to break for lunch now for one hour before we start our first session. I've arranged the schedule so that there are eight sessions for each procedure. You'll be with Doctor Erikssen for the more complicated kidney treatment, and with me for comparatively simple gallbladder one. There will be four sessions today, and four tomorrow. If there are any issues with the scheduling, there are two talented ensigns at the back of the auditorium who can make scheduling changes, but please try to stick with what you've got unless there's been a glaring error."

Leonard stepped away from the podium and turned to me. "And you were nervous," he teased. "Let's get some real food." He had an excited gleam in his eye, and I realized again that as much as he loved the Enterprise and her crew, he wasn't crazy about space at all. It was kind of funny really.

XXX

I was exhausted. Thankfully the doctors on Proxima B were quick and eager to learn, and just as Leonard had promised, no one gave me a hard time for being a new grad. They were eager to ask questions and update their knowledge on a variety of subjects, and while it was a bit of a struggle keeping them focussed on the kidney procedure, in every session, once we got into the procedure, we had some time at the end for unrelated questions. But I was exhausted. Leonard and I had been put in co-ed crew quarters, with a shared living space and bathroom. I was stretched out on the couch with my hands behind my head and my eyes closed.

"You look tired, kid." Leonard lifted my feet and sat down. He dropped my feet back into his lap.

"I am tired. And my voice hurts," I sighed. "And we've got another four hours tomorrow."

"And a panel after that for questions. I had to redirect folks back to the procedure in every session. I talked to Jim and added a two hour question and answer panel after our final session tomorrow," he explained. "It gives us one more meal of real food."

"Oh god, I suppose that means you want to go to the commissary instead of just replicating a pizza," I groaned. He pushed my feet off his lap, and pulled me to sitting.

"That I do. Go take a shower, get changed. I will replicate you a coffee, but that's about as far as I'm willing to go when my feet are on land." He clapped me on the back. I sighed and stood, glaring at him. He must have actually let me nap when we got in because his hair was damp and he was in civvies. He looked damn good.

I probably took longer than I needed to in the shower, but I was determined to make the most of the hot water. I scrubbed, and exfoliated, and scrubbed again. I lathered, rinsed, repeated until my scalp tingled. I took advantage of the steam to do a deep pore cleanse while I shave my legs. It was glorious, and I felt revitalized and ready to take on the world when I finally turned off the water.

"Hey, kid, there was just something on the news about a sudden water shortage!" Leonard teased from the other side of the door.

"Like your shower wasn't just as long!" I yelled back. I dried off and dressed quickly, opening the door as soon as I was decent to let the steam out. Towelling the majority of the moisture out of my hair, I left it down to dry naturally and dragged a quick lick of mascara across my lashes. Leonard propped himself against the doorjamb to watch me as I combed my fingers through my hair.

"You look fine, let's go," he grumbled.

"You have a fixation with real food. I have a fixation with real water in the shower. We both have our quirks, Leo." I patted him on the shoulder as I pushed past him.

"Like you aren't dying for a real piece of pizza right this minute?" He challenged.

"And you didn't take a twenty minute shower?" I shot back, from where I was pulling on my boots at the door. "I thought you were hungry? I'm ready."


	8. Chapter 8

I groaned. In ecstasy. It was the best pizza I'd ever tasted. I'm reasonably sure it wasn't just the replicated food from the last two months making my mouth say that either. I took another bite, and with it, another groan. "Oh my god, Bones."

"Whoa, hey there. I'm not sure how I feel about you calling me Bones too," Leonard protested.

"You keep feeding me pizza like this, and I will call you whatever you ask me to." My beer was equally delicious. What fine epicurean tastes I had. Pizza and beer on shore leave. I was neither a classy nor expensive date. Leonard flushed a little at the comment and shook his head.

"The pizza cannot possibly be that good." He finally took a slice and brought it to his mouth. His furrowed brow relaxed as soon as he bit into it. "Good god, woman."

"I think you'll find I'm rarely wrong when it comes to sinful indulgence." I winked.

"I'll take that under advisement," he laughed. "But you weren't wrong about the pizza."

"Your beer choice was pretty good," I grinned. My comm buzzed and I looked down at it. It was a message from my mom to call home right away. I frowned, and put my pizza down. "I'm sorry, Leo, I have a message from my mother. Do you mind if I take this call?"

"Not at all. The hall by the restrooms is pretty quiet," he suggested. I nodded and headed back to the dark corridor, connecting to my parents by video on the way.

"Hey Mom, what's up?" I asked. Katie had been away at science camp for the first two weeks of her summer break, and I knew that Mom and Dad had just picked her up a few days ago. Mom looked worried.

"Katie wants to talk to you," Mom sighed. "She said she couldn't bear to deal without you."

"Okay." I nodded. Katie popped into view. She looked like she'd been crying. "What's up, pumpkin?"

"Mama, my insides are on fire," she moaned. I started. It was the first time I was going to have to be a doctor instead of a mom, and I was a little nervous to try to diagnose her over a questionable comm link in a noisy pub.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Describe the pain, honey."

"It's horrible, like I'm being twisted and stabbed," she whined. "And everything aches. My back hurts, my tummy hurts, my legs are sore."

"Did you get hurt at camp?" I asked, narrowing my eyes. There wasn't much assessment I could do on her from Proxima B, but I could definitely recommend my parents take her to a hospital if necessary.

"No, this all started this morning. My tummy has been upset for a couple of days, and I feel like I need to fart but I can't," she moaned. I sighed. She'd probably eaten nothing but garbage at camp and was in need of some fruit.

"When was the last time you pooped?" I asked.

"This morning. That was also awful." She blushed and looked away from the vid screen. I pursed my lips and forced myself to forget she was my little girl and instead just looked at her symptoms. She was bloated but able to have bowel movements, generalized inflammation and achy joints, nausea, cramping, pain and -

"Katie, have you noticed any blood on the toilet paper when you wipe?" I asked.

"There's a little bit of pink there. Am I dying?" She looked scared.

"No, sweetheart, only if melodrama is a disease. I think you'd probably getting your first menstrual cycle. Get Nanny?" I asked. Mom popped back on the screen. "Mom, I know we've both prepared Katie really well. What is this about?"

"She's scared. You were too." Mom nodded. "I thought that's what it was, but you know, she needed to hear it from you. And she wouldn't let me near her to check."

I looked between my mother and my daughter and felt my eyes fill with tears. I was missing so much of my girl's childhood. And here I was, away for another milestone because I was too scared to start the paperwork to bring her to the Enterprise.

"Mama, when am I going to see you again?" Katie drove the point home with her words.

"Soon, pumpkin," I promised, guilt washing over me. "Go have a hot bath, with some epsom salts. It'll make you feel better. Take some ibuprofen, and drink lots and lot of water. Nanny's gone through all this before, she knows what to do."

"I love you, Mama." She nodded and handed the comm back to my mom.

"She'll be fine, Bryn, she just needed to hear her mama's voice and be reassured that everything was okay," Mom reassured me. "You look exhausted. Are you in a bar?"

"A pub. I'm on Proxima B. The CMO and I are doing some inservicing before we carry on," I explained. Mom nodded.

"Take care of yourself, Bryn. If you can't mind your own care, you won't be able to manage Katie," she fussed. "Make sure you are well settled before you start that application process, too. No point in applying if you're going to wind up bounced from your post as a result. You know we love you both, and Katie is no hardship. She needs her mama, but she needs stability too."

"I know," I agreed. "I miss her desperately already. It doesn't seem like it's only been a few months since I last saw her." I'd spent every break from school, every opportunity I had, at home with Katie. I'd last seen her as I studied for my boards just before commencement. I glanced over my shoulder and saw Leonard wasn't at our table anymore. "I should go, Mom. I need to catch up with the CMO before morning. Love you."

"Love you too, Bryn."

I made my way back to the table and glanced around. Leonard's coat was still hanging from the chair but his beer was empty. It gave me a minute to regain my composure and put on my calm face. He reappeared from behind me and sat down, holding full beers for both of us. "Last call, kid."

"It's not that late?" I laughed, glancing at the time on my comm.

"We're up early to finish up. You look how I feel. I probably shouldn't have grabbed these for us." He pointed at the glasses.

"In that case, bottoms up," I winked, and took a long pull. A second beer was probably too much, had I taken into consideration the different atmosphere on the planet. I was a little dizzy when I stood.

"Come on, lightweight, let's get you back to quarters," Leonard laughed, and wrapped his arm around me to steady me. I gave him a sloppy smile.

"I'm not drunk," I protested. "I'm definitely working a little bit of a buzz though. Why aren't you?"

"Trust me kid, that second beer was a mistake for both of us. I'm getting us back to quarters before we do something really stupid. Like go bowling." Leonard's accent was a little more pronounced after a couple of beer, it seemed.

"Good god, Bones, is there anything about you that isn't totally adorable?" I asked, immediately regretting the question. He stopped in his tracks and looked at me.

"I haven't a clue what you are talking about," he arched an eyebrow. "And I told you, I'm not sure how I feel about you calling me Bones." I laughed and patted his cheek.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. And you'll get over it. It's a good nickname, and it suits you. You're easily as hot as Jim, just as smart. Funnier. And now the accent gets thicker as the booze pours in? How are you not the most sought after man on the ship?" I asked. I wasn't drunk, but I certainly was honest. He shook his head.

"You really are a lightweight, kid." He waved his card in front of the door to our suite and dragged me in. He pushed me back onto the couch and handed me a glass of water. "I'm not going to give you a hypo if you're hungover in the morning, so drink up."

"I'm not going to be hungover in the morning," I argued. "I've got just enough in me to be honest."

Leonard dropped onto the couch beside me. "Honest about me or honest about yourself?"

"Is there a difference?" I asked. He made eye contact with me and raised an eyebrow.

"Why didn't you tell me about your girl when I asked about your pregnancy?" He asked. I pressed my lips together.

"Were you listening in on my conversation?" I sat upright as a chill washed over me. The relaxed happiness from the pizza and beer vanished in a single heartbeat.

"It wasn't my intention, but I had to walk past you to the restrooms, and heard you talking to her," he admitted. I clenched my jaw. "Why isn't she here? On board?"

"Because Starfleet doesn't know about her," I admitted. He bit his lip.

"Why not? Kid, you're a gifted doctor. They must have seen the potential in you when you applied. They would have accommodated your family needs."

"And it would have taken me twice as long to finish med school," I shrugged. "I know it was stupid, Leonard, but I was nineteen and had a two-year-old at home. It was the only med school that accepted me, and when I looked back on my applications, it was the only med school I hadn't informed about Katie."

"I don't think the two are necessarily correlated," Leonard argued.

"I mentioned I was nineteen, right?" I laughed. "After a few long conversations with my parents, we decided I would go, and when it needed to come up, I would offer the information. After a couple of years, it felt like it was too late. And then," I trailed off.

"Then?"

"I started seeing a guy, and things got serious. And he found out about Katie, and used her as leverage. He didn't like that I had better marks, and convinced me that if Starfleet found out, I would be dishonourably discharged." I looked down at my hands.

"But that's -" he sputtered.

"Not true at all, I hoped. When I got wise to what he was doing, I dropped him. But tell me honestly there wouldn't be a consequence for admitting it now?"

"I'm sure there won't be," he assured me. "Let me look into it. Without naming any names. I'll let you know what I find out. Your girl needs her mama."

"You'd do that for me?" I asked, astonished.

"You're a good doctor with the instincts to become a great doctor. Why would I see you waste that potential?" He asked. My eyes filled with tears and Leonard shook his head and pulled me into his arms. "How long has it been since you've spent more than a few days with her?"

"I was home for a week at Christmas." I wiped at my eyes.

"I'll make it a priority," he assured me as he stood up. He pulled me to my feet and pulled me into his arms.

"Thanks, Bones."

"Head to your bunk, darlin', it's another long day tomorrow." He kissed my forehead and sighed. I froze, and he let go of me awkwardly. "Uh, I, uh. Sorry."

"Goodnight, Leonard," I hurried to my room and shut the door.


	9. Chapter 9

It's weird the things you don't realize you might miss until you find them in the kitchenette in your quarters. Things like oatmeal. In fact, as a kid, I hated oatmeal. And for most of my time at the Academy, I avoided it. But it became my staple on cold autumn mornings. And I woke up on Proxima B on a morning that felt like autumn. And then I found oatmeal in the kitchenette. I was sitting at the table, nursing my second coffee and savouring a bowl of oatmeal with real maple syrup on it when Leonard emerged from his bedroom, rubbing his hand over his face. His hair was sticking in every direction and his pajama bottoms were slung low across his hips. And he'd somehow mysteriously misplaced his pajama top in the night. I tried not to notice the definition of his pecs, and the whisp of hair running down his abs.

"There's a pot of coffee," I offered, looking back down at my oatmeal. I could still feel his lips on my forehead from the night before. The spot burned like I'd been branded with a scarlet letter. From the corner of my eye, I saw him pad toward the coffee maker. He sat down across from me. I could feel his eyes boring into the top of my head and looked up in question.

"Jim is my best friend," he said. No preamble. No nonsense.

"I sensed that," I acknowledged, and looked back at my oatmeal.

"I shouldn't have kissed you," he continued. "It was disrespectful to you and to Jim and -"

"It was my forehead, Bones," I interrupted. "Yeah, it was unexpected, but it's not like you threw me against a wall and stuck your tongue down my throat." I deliberately ignored the tightening in my chest as I said the words.

"I just wanted to be -"

"If you're only apologizing because you're worried about Jim, you're apologizing for the wrong reason," I cut him off again. He scowled.

"That's not the only reason." He took a sip of his coffee and closed his eyes, a smile ghosting across his face. He looked at me again. "Good coffee, kid. That's not the only reason. I crossed a professional boundary with you. It was inappropriate. Additionally, my actions could be misconstrued as hitting on my best friend's girl and -"

"I'm not anyone's girl, Leonard." I held up my hand to stop him. His brow furrowed. "What? I'm not. Just like Jim isn't my boy, I am not his girl."

"Fine, his current female companion of choice. Is that better?" He arched an eyebrow. I chuckled under my breath.

"Actually, that sounds worse. Point taken. But please hear my point. You didn't do anything wrong -"

"That's what I'm trying to say." It was his turn to interrupt. "I like you, kid. And I'd like to think we've become friends. I wanted to apologize on the chance you weren't feeling as comfortable in our friendship."

I laughed out loud. "Are we the two most awkward people in Starfleet?" I emptied my coffee cup and stood to get a refill. "You're an amazing mentor. And I'm glad to have you as a friend too." I leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"What was that?"

"Now we're even. Astonishingly unprofessional conduct from me. And while one of us is topless, no less," I teased. "Now, if we're done awkwardly apologizing for burdening one another with friendship, you should probably think about getting ready. Our first session starts in less than an hour."

XXX

I must have looked tired when we got back shipside. Jim had requested we report to the bridge and report on the away mission. Which I thought was weird, considering it was just for education. Uhura signaled me as I was leaving the bridge and I stopped to chat with her.

"We're past due for a girl's night. Join us tonight at the cantina?" She asked. I smiled broadly.

"That would be great. Thank you for inviting me," I agreed. Despite Leonard covering both our shifts for the day, I found myself in medbay at the desk. I wanted to log the education and what had worked. And what I thought would work better, should we plan to provide more inservicing on the same techniques. One thing led to another, and I found myself down a rabbit hole of research on other species' anatomy, completely oblivious to the passage of time. I started when someone tapped my shoulder.

"Don't forget about drinks in the cantina tonight," Christine Chapel smiled, looking over my shoulder. "Oh, what is this?"

"I was just doing my log on the in-servicing Bones and I did, and I remembered an article I'd read about the possible function of the mull gland in Andorians. We know very little about Andorian anatomy and physiology because of the prohibition on autopsy, so I thought I would compare their anatomy to other species to see if there were any correlations and -"

"What does that have to do with gallstones?" Christine asked.

"Nothing really, except that if it serves a similar purpose, there may be a medical need for this procedure to be adapted to other species," I explained. "And they were the first I thought of."

"Give you one day of teaching, and suddenly you want to jump ship and become a research doctor," she teased. I blushed.

"Not a chance. I love what I do. But I want to be better, and that requires finding better ways to treat my patients," I laughed.

"The best way for you to treat your patients is to head down to the cantina with me and meet the other girls," she insisted. I turned my PADD off and set it to charge before following her to the door. I turned back for a minute to see if Leonard was still in his office working on his logs. He was.

"Hold on a second, Chris," I called as I darted back to the door and leaned in. "Thank you."

"What for?" He asked.

"Having confidence in me," I supplied. He smirked.

"That's easy, kid," he admitted. "Can you come in before Alpha in the morning?"

"Before?" I asked, curling my lip in distaste.

"I know you're tired, Bryn, but I want to get started on the paperwork for your daughter," he explained. I felt the hair on my arms rise and I nodded, a lump forming in my throat.

"I'll be here." I nodded.

"Girl's night?" He asked, nodding toward Chapel.

"That's the story."

"I'll have a hypo and a hot coffee waiting for you in the morning," he winked. I laughed and shook my head. I had no intention of revisiting the hangover I'd had from graduation. I caught up with Christine at the door and we headed to the cantina together.

XXX

"Let me get this right, Spock got drunk off a hot cocoa?" I asked Uhura with a giggle. "I mean, I'd read that sugar was not awesome for Vulcans, but I didn't believe it."

"Seriously. I handed him the cup, he took two sips, and he was a mess," she laughed. "He got a case of the giggles that wouldn't stop. I had to confine him to quarters. If the captain had found out?"

Christine cackled. "Can you imagine. Poor Spock would have never lived it down."

"Poor Spock, my ass," Uhura laughed. "You weren't the one who had to take care of him!"

"I don't think it's that funny," Tarin interjected. "Scotty handed me a banana once, and it nearly killed me."

"A banana?" Christine asked.

"I would die without bananas, it's how I get almost all my potassium," I added. "The replicated ones are horrible. I've been taking potassium tabs."

"That's the problem. The potassium counteracted the arsenic that is in my bloodstream, and it killed of a pile of my blood cells," Tarin explained. I looked at Tarin blankly and then understood what she was saying.

"The cobalt that makes your skin blue! Of course!" I exclaimed. "I mean, we study the anatomy and physiology of a variety of species in med school, but sometimes it takes an actual interaction for everything to click."

"I was so sick, and no one could figure out what it was. I think if Doctor McCoy hadn't been so worried, he would have been gleeful about the opportunity to discover a new mysterious disease. But it was just the banana," Tarin laughed.

"I'm amazed you're laughing about it," I commented. Tarin smiled.

"In hindsight, it's totally funny. Who dies from eating bananas?" It was rhetorical, and she shrugged. "Apparently, Andorians."

"You know, in the few years I've been with Starfleet, I've learned more than I thought was possible. And there's still so much more," Christine commented, lifting her glass. "Here's to the final frontier."

We all raised our glasses and clinked them in a toast, sipping from our various choices. I was trying to behave myself, truly. I'd allowed that I could have a single drink. It somehow turned into a few as well laughed and chatted. I looked down at the time on my comm and shuddered.

"Well, ladies, I have to turn in. I have an early meeting with Bones in the morning." I rose. And then put my hand on the table while the room stopped spinning. "Well, shit. He was right."

"Dr. McCoy said he'd be standing by with a hypo in the morning," Christine explained. Everyone at the table laughed. I sighed and sat back down. A glass of water would probably be a good idea.

"Speaking of McCoy, you didn't say how the training on Proxima B went," Uhura probed.

"You mean you haven't already read my report?" I teased. Uhura laughed and shook her head. "It was good. I was pretty nervous the first day, but it wasn't awful. And we went out for pizza and beer. It was amazing."

"You and McCoy?" Tarin clarified. I nodded. Uhura smiled and leaned across the table conspiratorily.

"That old dog. I didn't think he had it in him!" She exclaimed. I squinted in confusion and then realized what she was implying.

"Bones? And me?" I was dumbfounded. "No, no. That's not - "

"You do spend a lot of time together," Christine offered. Tarin looked positively gleeful.

"This is ridiculous." I threw my hands in the air in disgust. "I'm not in a relationship with -"

"You don't need to be in a relationship!" Uhura interrupted. "As long as you can get along at work still, it's just taking the edge of. Five years is a long time, and -"

"I am not sleeping with Leonard McCoy," I snapped. "I respect him. I trust him. He's my teacher."

"There's stranger bedfellows," Tarin observed. "Someone has been sneaking around with the captain."

"Shut up, who?" Christine gasped. I fought the urge to leap up and run.

"I'm not sure, I wasn't really paying attention. But I saw someone sneaking out of his room the other morning," she explained with a shrug. "I hope whoever she is, she realizes he's not going to commit."

"Kirk's settled a lot since the Khan incident," Uhura argued. "He might."

"A captain's only lover can be his ship." Tarin wrapped the words in air quotes. "That's what he told Sulu in the gym before we stopped on Earth. I think Sulu was questioning pursuing his own command."

"Yeah, but he probably said that because Rand was lurking somewhere," Christine offered. She turned to me to explain. "Janice is an yeoman in operations, and she was a little sweet on the captain. I think he was probably a little sweet on her too, but his first responsibility is always going to be to the ship."

"Why isn't she here tonight?" I asked.

"She's back at the Academy doing officer's training," Uhura answered. "She's the kind of person you'd want in command of a ship. She knows everything about everyone, right down to their food preferences. And she's kind, and thoughtful without being a total pushover."

"No wonder the captain was sweet on her," I forced a smile. If there was ever a person in the universe that enjoyed hearing about their current lover's past lovers, I'd never met them. I finished my water and pushed myself to my feet again, pleased to note I no longer had the spins. "I really am on my way now. Thanks again for inviting me."

"You're part of the gang now, Erikssen," Uhura smiled. "No more invites, just the expectation that you show up regularly."

"I'll consider this a standing date then," I laughed.

"Sure, if it doesn't conflict with whatever is going on with McCoy," she teased. I rolled my eyes and headed to the turbolift. Christine stepped in behind me.

"I didn't realize how late it was. I've got a self-defense class in the morning," she explained when I raised my eyebrow at her. We selected our floors and the turbolift closed. It stopped before I either of us wanted, and Kirk stepped on.

"Just who I was hoping to see," he smiled, turning to face me. I blushed. I saw Christine's eyebrow shoot up from the corner of my eye.

"Did you need medical attention, Captain?" I asked. His smile broadened.

"I wanted to discuss vaccines. The last time Bones gave me one, I had a bad allergic reaction, and he's been putting off this new round of vaccinations. But, as I said before, I think I should be an example to the crew. I was hoping you would have some insight into potential reactions I should be looking for," he explained. I nodded.

"Of course. I should have the information you're looking for on my PADD," I replied as the turbolift opened on my floor. Kirk followed me off and walked beside me. "I'd be happy to look it up for you."

He smiled again. "I'm free right now?"

I stopped at my door and considered inviting him in. It didn't take long to make up my mind. "By all means, Captain." We stepped into my quarters, and the doors had barely slid shut when his hands were on me. He backed me into the wall, hungry kisses peppering my face. I laughed and dodged away.

"Jim, people know about us," I began. He shrugged, pulling his top over his head.

"Don't see that as a problem." He leaned in and pressed his lips against my neck. "You never wear your uniform dress. You're wearing your uniform dress."

"I wasn't working today. The dress isn't practical for working in medbay," I replied, pushed his shoulders away from me, and started across the room. "You wouldn't have a problem with people knowing you're sleeping with the new doctor?"

"Why would I?" He followed me to the sofa. I stopped to pull off my boots, and put my hand on his shoulder for balance.

"I don't know. I guess because it's unprofessional of us?" I dropped my boots on the floor. He took me in his arms again.

"How? I'm not your direct superior. In fact," he paused and punctuated each of his words with a kiss somewhere on my face. "Ambiguous reading of the regs suggests I don't command you at all. You, my delicious doctor, are entirely Bones' headache." He slid a hand up my hip and under my dress.

I laughed. "Is that so? My reading of the same regs suggests that -" He covered my mouth with his and pushed me down onto my bed.

"I love to debate with intelligent women, but it's already late and time is precious tonight," he murmured against my mouth.


	10. Chapter 10

Jim was still asleep in my bed when I slipped out of my room to meet Leonard for our meeting. I leaned across the bed and kissed his shoulder before leaving, trying not to be bothered by the juxtaposition of Jim Kirk in my bed and the conversation about Janice Rand in the cantina. I didn't have any delusions of happily ever after with Jim. I didn't even have any hopes for happily every Tuesday. But I did wonder what exactly it was we were doing. We didn't socialize other than our secret rendezvous in one another's rooms and bantering in the halls when we saw one another. But it was also still early days of whatever this was. I was already overthinking it. I scolded myself and shook off the meandering path of doubts I was following in time to walk into medbay.

Leonard was already sitting at his desk, poring over his PADD. I grabbed mine from the charging station, and joined him. He gestured for me to sit, and without a word, rose, and held a hypo to my neck. Still silent, he pushed a coffee cup toward me, and went back to whatever it was he was doing on his PADD. I raised an eyebrow and took the coffee, trying not to flinch away from the bitter, unsweetened heat as it crossed my tongue.

"Good morning to you too," I finally offered, when no greeting was forthcoming.

"First things first," he started. "I know I'm responsible for one of them, but that's two nights in a row you've been out drinking. That's not something that will be easy for you to do once your daughter is shipboard. It also won't be particularly healthful to maintain. I spent some time looking at your records last night and you had a few periods of irresponsibility while you were at the Academy."

My cheeks burned in shame. "You're right, you were responsible for one of them." I couldn't think of what else to say.

"You don't want to defend the catastrophe of your second year?" It was pointed.

"I don't. I want you to have a little faith in me," I countered. He clenched his jaw and nodded. "You said first. So what else? You may as well get the entire uncomfortable employee review type shit out of the way."

"Your social calendar will look different once Katie is here." He wouldn't make eye contact with me. He was either referring to hanging out at the cantina or spending time with Jim. I assumed he meant Jim. I saved us both the embarrassment of saying it and instead just nodded.

"I'm sure I would adjust."

He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. "I hate to ask this, kid, but I'm going to have to. I need Katie's medical history, including her birth certificate. I think I can backdate most of her information, and treat this as a simple clerical error."

"Why is that such a bad thing to ask about?" I was confused.

"I need to know about Katie's dad," he sighed. I smiled.

"That's probably the easiest part of the whole thing. He's dead," I offered. "He wasn't terribly involved prior to his death, aside from giving me child support."

"When did he die?"

"He was on the Farragut. Elias Cox. "

"I'll try to access his records. I'm sure you're aware, we need to look at Katie's genetic history to check for any markers suggesting she's unfit to be shipboard. With both you and the father being safe, it shouldn't be an issue. Will your parents be able to take her to a physical within the next day or two?" Leonard was flicking his finger across his PADD rapidly, stopping a few times to make notes in whatever file he was in.

"Of course." I was assuming so, but they always came through. "This seems very quick."

"By the end of next week, we'll be far enough out that a simple teleport won't work any longer, and she'd have to piggyback across space, teleporting from one ship to the next until she caught up. The physical toll on her body would be ridiculous, and every other risk goes up with that kind of plan. She could go missing, she could get hurt, she could get lost, she could get ported to the wrong place. I'm going to push forward with this, as quickly as possible," he explained.

"You need to captain's approval for this, don't you?" I asked. I had said nothing to Jim about having a child. It was one of those conversations you either have right away or save until you're doing something serious. We were well past the 'right away' and I didn't think we were ever going to get to the 'something serious'. So I'd never brought it up.

"Of course," he affirmed. I cringed. "Does Jim not know about Katie?"

"Why would I have shared that? With my captain?" I asked, not the least bit sarcastic.

"You - but -" Leonard stumbled.

"I wasn't about to volunteer information about Katie until I needed to," I started. "Because he's the captain."

"But if you hope to have any kind of relationship with him, Bryn -"

"I know Jim is your best friend, Leonard. But look me in the eye and tell me honestly that he's the kind of man that settles down with one woman," I interrupted. "Particularly a woman that brings with her a pre-existing family."

"He's a good man, Bryn." Leonard's tone was a warning.

"I would never suggest he isn't. The crew, as a whole, respect him, and that speaks volumes for me. But he's married to this ship, and will be married to every subsequent ship he commands. I'm a distraction," I replied. Leonard looked like he wanted to say something and I held up my hand to stop him. "I'm a distraction, Bones. And I'm okay with that. Because that's what he is for me too."

He shook his head. "You're both much more valuable than that."

"I'm not upset about it. I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts," I shrugged. I felt my cheeks flame up again. "But it's not like we're having long discussions about what the universe means. We're not even friends with benefits. We're just the benefits part."

Leonard flushed a little as well, and looked down at his PADD. "I'm not sure I needed that information."

"I could have sworn you were a doctor," I laughed. Leonard's head snapped back up.

"Damnit woman, I am a doctor. But I'm not a sex therapist," he barked. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from laughing.

"So about Katie." I changed the topic back to one we would both be more comfortable talking about.

"I'll talk to Jim this morning," he started. "If you make those arrangements for her tests, we can get the ball rolling right away."

"Thanks, Leonard," I smiled. I checked my comm. It was just after breakfast at home.

"Children need their parents." He looked back down at his PADD, his shoulders tense. I was moved by how much he was willing to put on the line for me. Backdating everything and treating it as a clerical error was technically falsifying records, and could come with some pretty severe punishment. But Starfleet had been through a number of crises in the past few years, and with the loss of the bulk of the fleet during the Narada incident, and the destruction of the hall of records by Khan, it was the kind of tiny deception that might be overlooked. I assumed that's what Leonard was thinking as well. I rose to go make the call to my mom and saw his shoulders slump just a little. Impulsively, I stepped behind his desk and threw my arms around him.

"I mean it, Leonard. Thank you," I said again. "I can't put into words how much this means to me." His arm snaked around my waist and squeezed once before gently pushing me away.

"It takes too damn long to train up good doctors, kid," he said gruffly. "And stop with the hugging. People might think I've gone soft."

I laughed as I left his office. "I won't tell anyone what a softy you are."

XXX

I finished assessing the young ensign and ran the scanner over his left arm. "You're lucky you didn't get more badly hurt," I commented. "The fractures in your radius and ulna should be easy enough for the osteogenic regenerator to take care of before Alpha is over."

"That's reassuring." His accent was so thick, I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic or not. I made some notes in his chart, and laid his arm carefully on the biobed before setting the regenerator to work.

"Scotty told me you'd had a mishap in engineering, Chekov." Kirk had come into medbay while I was focussed on the youth. "And you somehow managed to luck into the prettiest doctor on the ship." I raised an eyebrow at him.

"It wasn't deliberate, sir," Chekov laughed.

"Not hard to be prettier than me, Jim," Leonard commented.

"But we also have M'Benga and Sanchez on board," Jim teased.

"I would like to point out that Dr. Noel is stunning," I interjected. All three men looked at me in surprise. I turned back to Chekov and gave him a hypo for pain. "That should carry you over until the bone knits."

"Bones, you wanted to see me?" Jim asked. I looked up at Leonard, wondering if I would be summoned into the meeting as well. He nodded for me to follow them into his office.

"Erikssen, sit. Jim, you'll probably want to as well," Leonard started. "I have some paperwork here I need you to sign for family benefits and quarters reassignment on a new crew member."

"And we needed to have a private meeting about this?" Jim asked, taking the seat beside me and crossing his legs. "You could have just forwarded this to my PADD." Leonard tapped on his PADD quickly and looked up.

"Very well, it's waiting there now, Jim." He glanced at the PADD in Jim's hand expectantly. Jim opened the file and tapped a few times, signing off on it without looking.

"You know I trust your judgement, Bones," Jim said. "If you feel the crewman needs his family aboard, I am not going to question you."

"Did you read the document at all, Jim?" Leonard asked, suppressing a laugh. He looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Jim looked at Leonard, and then to me, then back to Leonard. He pulled the document back up on his PADD and read through it.

"I see." He nodded, not looking back at me. "Can we have a moment, Bones?"

"I'll finish up this paperwork now that I have your approval, and get the ball rolling." Leonard rose and stepped out of his office. Jim stood, and leaned against the desk, facing me.

"I'm not sure where to start," he said. "Maybe with us? Why didn't you tell me about Katherine?"

"Why would I need to, Jim? She's not here. Starfleet will only know about her once Leonard finishes the late entries and adjustments to my records. I've been keeping her a secret for eight years," I started.

"And the for last few weeks of that, we've been -"

"Exactly, Jim. It's only been a few weeks. And you are my captain. The balance of power is in your favour. It's not like we talk about," I paused. "Well, about anything really."

Jim pursed his lips. "That's fair. What led you to hide this in the first place?"

"Sit down. It's a long story," I sighed. He made himself comfortable and leaned forward. I started from the beginning, and told him the whole story. About being young and in love, and making bad decisions. About the shock and horror of discovering I was pregnant. About telling Katie's dad, long after he'd left for the Academy, and his resulting ethical dilemma. About staying home instead of following him to the Academy at his request, at first. About the weekly calls that became monthly calls that became monthly support payments only, which was when I changed my mind about not applying to the Academy. About how I felt nothing for him when I learned of the Farragut's destruction, other than the overwhelming sadness that accompanied the knowledge of all the lives lost that day. I explained honestly missing an entire page of my Starfleet Application about my family situation and the predicament I found myself in when I realized I'd been accepted under false information. How I chose to perpetuate the deception in order to finish my medical training quicker, and face the music once I was fully qualified. How I pushed myself through every obstacle, including Michael, and pushed so hard I finished with distinction to better my chances of being kept on after my deceit was revealed.

"I'm left with a few questions," Jim nodded. "Why would you confess this to Leonard if you weren't comfortable confessing to me? As you saw, he has much more control over your future than I do. I trust his recommendations implicitly."

"I didn't confess to him," I admitted. "Bodies change as a result of pregnancy. It is essentially written into my skin. He saw that and asked."

"And you freely confessed, after years of hiding her?" Jim pressed.

"Of course not." I shook my head. "When we were on Proxima B, he overheard me talking with her. She's ten, she wasn't feeling well. My mother commed me while we were eating dinner."

"You should probably be thankful it was Bones and not Spock who found you out," Jim sighed. "That would have been a step by step, by the book ordeal involving Headquarters. I still don't understand why you wouldn't have told me though."

"Permission to speak freely, Captain?" I asked, arching an eyebrow. My tone was dry, and I hoped he caught it.

"Bryn." His tone was a warning. "That's neither amusing nor appropriate."

"That's exactly my point, Jim." I threw up my hands in exasperation. "You said I could speak freely, so please pardon me for being crass. You and I, we're just fucking. We sneak around like the bad boy and the pastor's daughter. We've never had a conversation about anything of substance. But we're sexually compatible and having a good time. Regardless of the fact that you are, no matter how you particularly choose to look at it, my captain, you are my non-committal lover. By contrast, my daughter is my life. Every deception I have undertaken has been to provide a better life for her. So I have to ask you, Jim, why would I have told you about her?"

"You wouldn't have told me about her, even if I weren't the captain?" He clarified.

"It's never been the right time," I shrugged.

"I owe you an apology, Bryn," he said.

"For what?"

"I hadn't considered that our affair would be such an ethical crisis for you," he admitted. "Regardless of how little conversation our assignations contain, I do hold you in high esteem."

"Are you trying to say that you like me, Jim?" I laughed. He smiled and flushed a little.

"I do. I don't know why. You're right, we never talk about important things," he shrugged. "I enjoy your wit. I find you clever. And maybe if we weren't quite so clandestine, we'd know each other better." I was stunned.

"What are you saying?" I asked. He smirked and I wanted to melt.

"I don't really care if people know we are spending time together," he started. "I'm sure there are some who are already talking -"

"The inside scoop is that you are sneaking around with someone. The real gossip is about me and Bones," I interrupted. His laugh was a short surprised burst that made me grin.

"Of course. I sent you off ship together," Jim chuckled. "My point is that we can be seen together outside of quarters and let people come to their own conclusions." I wasn't sure how I felt about it, if I were honest with myself. I was such a recent addition to the crew that I didn't want anyone thinking I was getting special treatment because of where I spent the night. I wasn't opposed to actually getting to know him though.

"Maybe we should hold off on that kind of thing until Katie is settled shipboard," I sighed. Jim nodded.

"I'll hold you to that," he winked and looked down at his comm. "You should probably see to Chekov. Bones will have me strung up if I keep you any later."

XXX

Leonard had finished Chekov's treatment, and dismissed him from my care. He was standing at the bedside finishing the charting when I found him.

"The osteogenic regenerator worked quicker than I was expecting," I commented.

"You took longer than you realize with Jim," Leonard countered. I bit my lip.

"It went better than I thought," I admitted.

"I told you, he's a good man." Leonard was smug in his correctness.

"Takes one to know one, I guess." I winked and Leonard rolled his eyes.

"What did your parents say about Katie when you commed them?" He changed the subject.

"They have her at my doctor's office right now. She said she would send the report as soon as it's complete." I double-checked the message on my comm. As if on cue, Leonard's comm beeped. He scrolled through the report, nodding as he read.

"I've got to make another call, so mind the floor, would you?" He walked back to his office, not bothering to wait for my response. Christine sidled up to, a sly grin on her pretty face.

"Doctor Erikssen," she started. "I hope your research with the captain was fruitful last night."

"Oh, uh, yeah. We were able to discover a few vaccines that will give him the same coverage as the ones he can't have," I stammered. She smirked.

"Amazing," she said. "How you managed to figure that out when your PADD was down here charging! No wonder it took you all night." I felt my cheeks heat and turned away to regain my composure.

"I'm not sure what you're saying, Nurse Chapel," I replied, as coolly as I could manage. She let out a little huff of breath and shook her head.

"Your secret is safe with me, Bryn," she reassured me, laying a hand on my shoulder. I gave her a weak smile.

"It's not what you think -"

"I think you're definitely researching vaccine reactions for the captain," she interrupted.

"Oh, well, of course then," I raised my eyebrow and met her gaze. She smiled again.

"And if you have to give him a thorough physical every other evening, I'm not going to judge," she laughed. My cheeks burned again, and I excused myself to review Chekov's chart before the shift ended.


	11. Chapter 11

I stood in the turbolift scowling at the open door. Seven was dark. I knew the lights would pop on as soon as I stepped off the turbolift, but I knew Leonard wasn't down there because the lights were off. I was not about to admit being scared of the dark to him in addition to my fear of zero gravity. Primarily because I wasn't scared of the dark. I was nervous about dark spaces in space, and about being alone in large dark spaces. But I wasn't scared.

Determined to not let the dark creep me out, I stepped off the turbolift and the lights snapped on as the turbolift slammed shut. Just the first few feet of the hall I was standing in lit up though. Not enough for me to even see the doors to the cargo bay we'd been using for my drills. I flipped open my comm.

"Lieutenant Erikssen to Commander Scott," I relayed. "Would it be possible to get some lights on seven?"

"Motion detection is on and functional be remote test, Doctor Erikssen. Are the lights not coming up?" Scotty's voice bounced around the hall, echoing in the silence.

"No, they're on, but just the first five feet off the turbolift," I replied. I thought it would be easy to sweet talk him into turning all the banks on for me. Apparently not.

"Have you attempted walking forward about six feet, doc?" He laughed. I sighed heavily and closed the comm. The turbolift opened behind me, and McCoy stepped out.

"What's with the lights?" He asked, flipping his comm open. "Scotty, lights up on seven." I smothered a smirk behind my hand and looked down the hallway. The lights did not come on.

"As I just relayed to Doctor Erikssen, the lights are functional on motion, and if the two of you scared gits would just walk forward, they will come on for you." Scotty's tone sounded both amused and irritated. Leonard sighed as deeply as I just had and walked forward. The lights came up dimly, but enough that we could see the doors to the cargo bay.

"Is this some new torture you've invented, Scotty?" Leonard spoke into the comm. "It's bad enough we're trapped on this pie plate, but now we've got to march around in the black as well?"

"Unused floors being lit up like a Christmas parade is a waste of precious resources, Doctor McCoy. The motion detection was installed two days ago, on the captain's orders and is working like a charm. I suppose you'd like a nightlight in your quarters as well?" Scotty's sass made me bite my lip. I guess I didn't really need to be worried that Leonard would ride me about being nervous about the darkness.

"Pestilence and confinement. Recycled air and water rations," Leonard mumbled. "Now goddamn lights on motion and dimmer switches." We turned into the cargo bay and the overhead lights came on so suddenly and brightly that I blinked against them, temporarily blinded.

"Let's get this over and done. I'm exhausted," I complained.

"You made the choice to stay up half the night -"

"Don't even start. I am emotionally spent, not physically tired," I interrupted. "The level of anxiety I had about Katie peaked, and then crashed, and we both know how hard that is on a body."

"Well, it's over now, so you can relax and focus on floating." He winked. He actually winked. I wanted to choke him. "And Katie will be here in just a few days."

"Gravity slow off in 10 seconds." Scotty's voice interrupted. The familiar stomach churning sensation of my feet lifting off the floor hit me and I closed my eyes. I was finding it easier to handle the initial drop in gravity if I couldn't see the room moving. But that only worked until my feet were completely clear. Then the terror came flooding at me, and I was panicky and useless. I honestly didn't understand why Leonard kept insisting I was getting better.

"You're just floating like a dead satellite. Move," he demanded. I fanned my arm like I was swimming, and felt myself slowly start to corkscrew. I forced myself to breathe slowly, in through my nose, and out through my mouth. When the spinning got too much, I closed my eyes and moved my other arm to counter the motion, and was surprised and relieved when it did, and the spin slowed. I looked at Leonard and smiled.

"I just -"

"You did," he smiled. "When will you believe me that this is getting easier?"

"When the weight of the dread eases as the gravity does?" I theorized. He looked down at his comm and pursed his lips.

"We have about four minutes left. I want you to try to move across the cargo bay to the opposite wall," he said. "I get that you're still uncomfortable, but in an emergency, you'll have to put that aside and try to work. So try now, while you're still feeling that adrenaline surge from the panic."

I swallowed and took another deep breath. I looked past his shoulder to a tether point on the wall, and decided that was my target. I tentatively swept my arm forward and felt myself surge ahead. I had to close my eyes and clench my fists to not immediately begin back paddling. I swept my arms forward again, peeking my eyes open just for a second and saw that I was still heading mostly in the right direction. Leonard swept past me. I wasn't sure if he was getting out of my way or I was just that close to him that I was me sweeping past him. Either way, he felt close and I felt my nerves compound at the thought of accidentally kicking him or colliding with him or some other non-gravity type accident. I opened one eye again and saw that I was clearing him with plenty of space, so I dragged my arms through the air again, and kept floating toward the far wall.

"This is horrible, but it isn't horrible," I grumbled as I passed him. He laughed.

"I told you -"

"Gravity slow on in one minute," Scotty's voice echoed through the cargo bay, warning us the prepare to drop back to the ground. I made the mistake of looking down to figure out how far I'd managed to float and that's when the panic overtook me. The gravity came on over the course of a few minutes, and I was so high up in the cargo bay that there was no way I was going to be able to get down before the gravity came completely on and sucked me hard against the steel grate floor. I was easily forty feet in the air. I shrieked, and started flailing, trying and failing to get my legs under me. I felt myself starting to drop and the tightness in my chest got worse and I screamed again. Leonard pulled himself toward me, and grabbed at my foot, pulling me down to him. I'm not sure what exactly was going through my head other than the terror of falling, but I threw myself across the short distance between us, and wrapped myself around him like an octopus. I tried not to scream when the gravity's final pull tugged us down to the floor. The addition of my weight and the awkward balance of me hanging off of him caused Leonard to stumble a little before he caught his footing. His arms came around my waist to shift my weight off his hips, and he carefully prised himself out from my grasp, making sure my feet were on the floor before he let go of me. I was gasping for air, unable to regulate my breathing, and even though I knew I was safe, and even though I understood the physics behind the way gravity worked, I could not shut the terror off. I couldn't shake the feeling of falling, even though I hadn't fallen at all. Leonard's mouth was moving, but the screeching panic inside my head was too loud and I couldn't actually hear a word he was saying. Finally, he pulled a hypo from his hip pocket and held it to my neck, and everything faded away, and beautiful, dark silence surrounded me.

XXX

I woke up in my quarters. The light in the room was dim, and I could feel something sitting on the bed by my knees. I looked over and saw Leonard. He was tipped back in a chair with his feet on the bed. His arms were crossed and his chin was touching his chest. A quiet snoring accompanied the slow, even rise and fall of his chest. He looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake him. I tried to adjust my position without jostling him, and realized that he had his feet up on the bed not for his own comfort but to wake him in case he fell asleep.

"What the hell was that about, Bryn?" His voice was low in the dim light. But gentler than the words suggested.

"I don't know," I lied.

"Horseshit," he countered. "You have never responded that way in a simulation before. There has to be something that triggered it."

"I was too high," I admitted. "I panicked because I thought I wouldn't be back to the floor in time." I tugged the blankets up and realized I was just in my undershirt and knickers.

"The way the slow gravity return works is that -"

"I know. The object falling compensates, and will always hit the floor as full gravity returns," I cut him off, sitting up. I adjusted the blanket for modesty, not that it really mattered, as he was the one who'd put me in the bed in the first place.

"So why the panic attack?"

"I told you, I'm emotionally exhausted from all the stress surrounding Katie," I snapped.

"I don't think you're being truthful to me, Erikssen. You can either tell me why you are so frightened or I can go digging through your history," he pressed. His voice had stayed gentle, but there was an edge to it. And he was using my last name, so I knew he wasn't bluffing. I sighed.

"In my first zero gravity drill on the Pasteur, I caught up on some equipment and when gravity came back on, I dropped about fifteen feet. Not enough to kill me, or even hurt me really badly. I spent a day on the osteogenic regenerator table, and was fine, but I'm scared of -"

"A day? What did you break?" He asked.

"Both my femurs, my left tib-fib, six ribs, my pelvis, my -"

"Jesus, kid, why didn't you say something?" He cut me off before I got to the good stuff.

"Because it's part of the job," I shrugged. "Every time you bring me here, I'm wild with anxiety, and I want to puke, but I know you won't let me get hurt. And if we can do this enough that my Pavlovian response becomes 'Leonard will keep me safe', then the 'oh shit I'm going to break everything again' response will continue to fade until it doesn't recur."

"What if I'm not there?" He asked. I glared.

"Don't wreck my zero grav safe place with your doubts, Bones," I warned. "I won't stand for it."

"I'm giving you tomorrow off. Get yourself organized for Katie, get a little extra rest. I expect you to check in at the start of Beta, just to let me give you a look over." He stood up, apparently satisfied with my recovery and response.

"Thanks, Leonard." I gave him a weak smile. He nodded.

"We'll talk tomorrow." He turned and headed out of my room, the doors sliding shut behind him.


	12. Chapter 12

I crossed my ankles at the commissary table, trying to be mindful that I'd worn my uniform dress. I was absolutely starving as a result of the previous day's panic attack. My body had blown through any reserves I had. And I was stuck with replicated food. Even though I wasn't on duty, because I was scheduled for Alpha, I was unceremoniously tossed from my quarters about two hours into shift so that the ship maintenance crews could move me into my new family quarters. So I was sitting in the commissary, nursing a coffee and reading a study on Gorn obstetrics that McCoy had contributed to as I ate. I yawned, and stretched and tried to get more comfortable. It wasn't happening. Instead, I found myself searching out the gym, and changing into my running gear. I flipped my comm open.

"Erikssen to Scott. Can you adjust the relay to the motion lights on seven for me? I want to go for a run," I asked.

"The motion detection will roll on for you as you run, lass. Just as I said last night."

"Okay, when you have a moment, I'd like you to come check things out on seven because they are slow and they are dim. In the meantime, I will be running laps in the dark," I snapped.

"It just so happens that I have time right now, lass. I'll meet you there," he retorted. I hadn't actually met Scotty face to face yet. I took the turbolift to seven and stepped off into the black. The lights at the turbolift came on dimly. A few moments later, the turbolift opened again and a guy that I could only assume was Scotty stepped out.

"Doctor Erikssen?" He asked. I nodded and he offered his hand. "Montgomery Scott."

"It's nice to finally put a face to your name," I smiled. "So about these lights?"

"They do seem a wee bit dim. If you'll step away from the wall there, I'll check the controls." He brushed me aside and popped a panel open where I'd been leaning. He fiddled with the wires a little and poked around before shutting the panel and heading down the dark corridor. I had to walk quickly to keep up. At the end of the corridor, the main control panel for the level lit up as Scotty approached it. He flicked through the schematics and pictures that flashed across the screen quickly, muttering to himself the whole time. I felt a little extraneous.

"There," he pronounced and turned back to face the corridor back to the turbolift. The lights were still dim, but they were all on. As we walked back to the turbolift, they lit up to the usual brightness of the other floors. "When we installed the new motion detection algorithm, the unoccupied levels were set for full dark and dim light. The sometimes used levels were set for dim light and full light. I thought I'd flagged this level because I knew Doctor McCoy was doing remedial training with you down here, but it must have been missed."

"Thank you for taking the time to come and check," I offered. "I really do appreciate it."

"You're two peas in a pod, you know," Scotty laughed.

"He's not scared of anything," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"He's terrified of flying, hates the transporter and is rather unhappy with the idea of space," Scotty rattled off. "Makes your fear of floating seem pretty small, doesn't it?"

"He is not."

"Pay attention next time you beam down to a planet with him to teach," Scotty challenged me with a wink. "And in the meantime, enjoy your run." He stepped back on the turbolift. I paced to the end of the corridor and tapped the control panel. I found my drive and flicked through it until I found my workout playlist, and set it to play overhead across the level before slowly jogging down the hall to make sure the lights kept up. Before long my muscles limbered up and I got lost in the music. I stopped running when the music cut off mid-song.

"Erikssen to Medbay, stat. Erikssen to Medbay, stat." The overhead would have only cut in for a shipwide broadcast. I checked where I was and sprinted back to the turbolift. As the lift moved, I pulled my t-shirt up to wipe the sweat off my face and dashed down the hall as soon as it opened on the Medbay level. I ran into the main ward, and saw no one moving to help anyone.

"Christine, I was called stat?" I called to her. She looked up from the nursing station and nodded toward Leonard's office. I headed toward Leonard's office and saw he was sitting talking to someone I couldn't see. As I rounded the corner into the office, the person he was speaking with started laughing and I shrieked.

"Katie!" She stood up and ran into my arms and suddenly the water works started. I couldn't stop myself. I held her out and looked at her. Her hair was lighter, probably from a summer of outdoor fun. And she was taller than she'd been when I'd been home studying for my exams. "I can't believe you're here!"

"Why do you think it was so important that your quarters be changed today?" Leonard laughed. "I'll let you two get reacquainted, but I still want to see you at shift change to check you over from last night."

"Thanks for getting her here so quickly, Leonard." I managed to pull away from Katie long enough to throw my arms around him. He patted me awkwardly on the back before prying himself out of my grip.

"Children need their parents," he said. "I'll see you at shift change. Your PADD has an action list that Starfleet wants completed regarding Katie's relocation."

I turned to my daughter, and felt my eyes filling with tears again. Eight years. Eight years I had only seen her on holidays, reading breaks, exam prep times. And now she was mine again, finally. She smiled at me, a lopsided, nervous smile that reminded me of her father when we had first been dating. Her soft, little girl shape had changed, even in the short months since I'd seen her, and she was starting to look more like a teenager. I pulled her back into my arms again, smoothing the soft, ginger hair she'd also got from her dad. "I promise I'll only smother you for a few days," I whispered to the top of her head. I felt her small body laugh, and pull away.

"It's okay, Mama, I get it." She laced her fingers in mine and smiled. "So show me my new home?"

I wasn't sure we'd been moved into our new quarters yet, and decided to check my action list before we left the Medbay. Christine handed Katie her own PADD. "Your mom sometimes gets distracted by work when she gets on that thing."

"Not today. Today is just checking what things need to be done that can be wrapped into a ship tour," I laughed.

XXX

I'd shown Katie most of the nooks and crannies I'd discovered on the ship. She knew how to get pretty much anywhere from Medbay. I decided to check in with maintenance to find out if our quarters were ready, and led her toward them once I had the all clear. The space was nearly the same size, but had two bedrooms joined by a shared bathroom. Katie's things had already been dropped off in her room, and I allowed that she should start unpacking so I could take a shower. I'd been touring her around in my running clothes and was getting cold as I cooled off. When I was ready, iit was everything I could do to pry her away to finish up our tour.

"But where else do we need to go?" She asked, digging through a box to find the ratty teddy bear her dad had given her on her first birthday. Captain Fluffybuns was a stuffed rabbit that had been available at the Academy bookstore while Elias was a student. Captain Fluffybuns was actually an admiral, but I hadn't known that when Katie was a baby.

"You haven't seen the education centre yet, and you haven't visited the bridge to meet the command crew. After that, you can head back here, if you want, but I need to see Dr. McCoy," I explained.

"Why do you need to see him?"

"Just a check-up," I lied. I didn't need to worry her about my own fears on her first day in space. She laid Captain Fluffybuns on her bed, and then changed her mind, picking him back up again.

"Can I bring Cap?" She asked. I shrugged. She tucked him under her arm and followed me out of our quarters and down three levels to the education centre. The primary school teacher, Mr. Yim, approached us.

"Dr. Erikssen!" He shook my hand. "And you must be Katherine. Dr. McCoy let me know you'd be coming. I requested your educational record from home, and I have to say, young lady, I'm looking forward to introducing you to advanced engineering and robotics." He led Katie over to the science lab and showed her around. I hung back, watching her as she took in everything around her with wide-eyed excitement. It might not have been the science academy for gifted students on the Yorktown, but she was certainly not going to be held back by being on the Enterprise. Mr. Yim laughed and led Katie back over to me.

"Did you like what you saw, Katie?" I asked. She nodded eagerly.

"She asked if she could come back later today," Mr. Yim explained. "Whenever you have time to let her, I'd love to see her down here. I've got a few exercises for her that will help us determine what curriculum she needs to follow, and the sooner we get that settled, the sooner we'll have her assigned to the appropriate class."

"I have to see Dr. McCoy in about twenty minutes, but I was going to tour her to the bridge before that. She can come back then?" I asked.

"Perfect. I'll make sure she's back to quarters in time for dinner." He nodded. Katie retrieved Captain Fuzzybuns from the science lab and waved at Mr. Yim before we left.

"Did you see that lab, Mama? It was incredible. Mr. Yim said I can't blow things up unless I am supervised. And then he told me he loves to blow things up." She came up with an unending list of experiments that would require her to cause explosions, and right as I was beginning to wonder if she was enthusiastic or dangerous, the door to the bridge slid open. We stepped out, and I put a hand up to stop Katie from rushing forward.

"Permission to enter the bridge, Captain?" I asked. Jim glanced over, eyebrow raised, and then smiled.

"Come," he waved us over. I led Katie behind the chair so she could look out the viewscreen.

"Katie, this is Captain Kirk. He is the commanding officer of the ship, so if he ever tells you you need to do something, you should probably listen," I introduced her. It felt awkward. Jim smiled.

"It is nice to meet you, Captain Kirk." Katie used her more solemn and serious tone.

"You can call me Jim," he grinned. "Now, who is your friend?" Katie flushed and tried hiding her bunny behind her back. Jim raised an eyebrow and reached behind her, pulling him out of her hands. He smoothed the ratty ears, and tweaked at the threadbare command shirt.

"That's Captain Fluffybuns," Katie admitted. Jim grinned. There was some muffled snickering that came from in front of Jim and looked over and saw the young ensign, Chekov. His shoulders were shaking.

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to tell Captain Fluffybuns that there's only room on the bridge for one captain," he chuckled. "I'm glad to meet you, Katie. Your mother's been a good addition to the crew, and I know you will be too."

"Thank you, Captain," I smiled. "Come on, Katie, I've got to see Bones."

Uhura put a hand on my arm to stop me before we left the bridge. "Katie, I'm Nyota. If you ever need anything and your mom is busy with work, you can comm me and I'll help you out."

Katie looked from Uhura to me and back to Uhura. "Thanks, Nyota," I smiled, and continued to lead Katie out. "Nyota is the first person who spoke to me on the ship. We met on my transport. She is the communications officer."

"How many languages does she know, Mama?" Katie asked. I shrugged.

"I'm not sure. Probably all of them," I admitted as we stepped on the turbolift. I heard an amused noise from Uhura's station and leaned out of the turbolift to wink at her.

XXX

I dropped Katie back at the education centre and headed to Medbay with a sense of dread. I wasn't sure what McCoy was going to say or do. Worrying about my place in Starfleet had become such second nature to me over the years that now that everything with Katie was squared, I was worried that my panic attack would somehow negatively affect me. I found myself walking slower than I usually did. Christine stopped me on my way to Leonard's office.

"You look like you're headed for a hangman's noose, Bryn," she announced. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I lied, plastering a fake smile on my face to cover the dread. "Just a quick follow-up with Doctor McCoy about my anti-grav session last night."

"Well, chin up then. Your girl is here, and all is right with the world," she chastised. I felt my smile soften.

"Sure feels that way," I admitted. McCoy stepped out of his office, looking around. His eyes locked on me, and he nodded toward the office door. He allowed me to pass him, and then hit the button to slide the door shut.

"Sit," he demanded. I flopped into the chair and sighed. "Dr. Noel has agreed to give you some counselling to develop some coping strategies about your fear. She told me I'd been approaching this all wrong and that rather than tearing the bandaid off, we should have been easing you into increased drills."

"I don't need counselling," I balked. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not going for counselling. I'd rather just keep doing drills."

"If I order you to, as your CMO, you have to or you'll be put on medical suspension," he threatened.

"I don't want to go," I said. "Please?" He sighed and rubbed his temples as he sat down across from me.

"I don't have a background in psychology, kid," he started. "But maybe if you'd tell me why you don't want to go, I can figure something out."

"I'm not broken, Bones, that's why," I snapped. "I got hurt, and now I'm scared. That's a totally normal human response."

"I know that!" His voice was louder than he realized, I think, because he flinched. "I'm worried about you, kid. I can't have you falling apart in an emergency."

"I won't," I swore. "Just let me lick my wounds in private."

"You know I had to add this to your medical chart," he started. I pursed my lips. "I didn't add it to your personnel file."

"I appreciate that."

"We'll cut back on drills for the next few weeks until Katie is settled. Just once a week." He tapped his PADD and looked up at me with a sigh. "You need to at least talk to Dr. Noel about her offer."

"Will do." I nodded.

"I mean it. I will be checking in with her," he warned. I nodded again and stood up.

"If that's all?"

"For now."


	13. Chapter 13

Katie slipped under the covers and snuggled into my side, just like she’d done when she was a little girl. I lifted my arm and settled it over her, drifting back off to sleep without waking fully. In the morning, I gave her a squeeze and shoved her away. She was suffocating me with her heat.

“You can’t do that every night, Katie,” I yawned. She stretched out and nodded.

“First night jitters, Mama,” she agreed.

“Are you sure you’re okay getting to the education centre on your own?” I asked as I sat up at the side of the bed, scrubbing my hand across my face.

“Of course, Mama! I’m not a baby anymore!” She sounded so exasperated that I realized she really wasn’t. 

“Then get your tush out of my bed and make me a coffee while I shower,” I teased. She groaned and got up. I made sure she ate breakfast and had her supplies for school before collecting my own things for my day.

“So are you coming for me after shift, or do I come to you?” She asked for what felt like the millionth time. I sighed.

“You come to me,” I replied. “Comm me if you need anything.” 

XXX

I looked down at the message on my comm and frowned. It was cryptic and poorly spelled. Katie wasn’t normally that way. I didn’t have much of a chance to puzzle through it, as she came through the doors in Mr. Yim’s arms. I dropped my comm and my PADD and ran to the nearest biobed.

“Here, Jung!” I gestured to the bed and he made directly toward it, placing Katie down gentle on it. She was clutching her arm, but frightningly silent. And filthy. Covered head to toe in filth. And smelled suspiciously like a campfire. “What happened?”

“Well, we were testing the combustive properties of various chemicals and apparently the bromine was mislabeled,” Mr. Yim answered. I started cutting Katie’s clothes away from her arm.

“Just the arm?” I asked. “Bromine isn’t normally combustible, what was in the container?”

“Not sure at this point. It extinguished easily with a chemical suppressant and is not continuing to burn, but Katie is already a little shocky,” he offered. He rattled off the assessment he’d done at the education centre, and I focussed on what he was saying as I ran the scanner across her arm. 

“I’m going to need to know what it is.” I looked across the room until I saw Christine. “Chapel, I need a burn kit.”

“Dermaline gel or the regenerator?” She asked, opening the supply cupboard.

“Bring both,” I called. She grabbed the dermal regenerator from the cupboard and stopped at the med room for the gel while I gave Katie a pain control hypo. “You’re going to be fine, Katie-cat.”

“It hurts so much I can’t breathe,” she whispered. I looked at Chapel, who nodded and popped an oxygen mask on Katie’s face. I tried to breathe through my mouth. The smell of seared flesh had always bothered me, and was made worse by it being Katie.

“Lay back and breathe, sweetheart, your mom has got you.” Christine smoothed her hand across Katie’s forehead. I cleaned the wound and applied the dermaline gel to the worst part of the burn. Katie shrieked when the gel touched her skin. It was reassuring that she was feeling pain, but the sound knifed into my heart and I struggled to blink back tears.

“This is going to take some time to work, my love,” I murmured. “I’m going to put you to sleep for a bit.” I gave her another hypo to sedate her and went back to work, smoothing the pink gel across the skin. Once the worst burn was coated, I went to work with the dermal regenerator healing the lesser, minor burns. I was just assessing the skin beyond Katie’s arm when I felt a hand clamp down on my shoulder.

“You should not be treating your daughter, Doctor Erikssen.” McCoy’s voice was stern, and I looked up at him in confusion. He only ever called me doctor when he was trying to be professional. And that was fairly rare.

“You were meeting with the captain, Doctor McCoy. Who else could have -”

“You could have had Chapel comm me,” he interrupted. “Step aside, I’ll take over.” I felt my hackles go up and and I turned to face him, placing the regenerator on the tray table beside me.

“Doctor McCoy, I am perfectly capable -”

“You are her mother. If for no other reason, recognize that I am more experienced at treating,” he paused and looked at the burns on her arm, “nitrogen burns than you are.”

I sighed and stood up, handing the dermaline gel tube to him. “I’m not leaving.”

“I didn’t say you had to,” he snapped. I moved to Katie’s other side, and held her limp hand in mine. I felt a wave of nausea hit me as the adrenaline of treating her started to ebb. The smell of the burned flesh combined with the chemical scent of the gel to become even worse than it initially had been, and I gagged. Leonard looked up at me with a raised eyebrow and softened. I felt a little lightheaded, and imagined I was probably kind of pale, and dropped my head on the biobed.

We stayed like that for hours, Katie sedated on the biobed and me holding her uninjured hand, head laid down beside her. I had somehow already failed her, and she’d only been mine again for a day. Regret washed over me and I wondered if I’d made the right decision, bringing her out into the black. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into Jim’s concerned blue eyes.

“Bones told me you haven’t moved in hours,” he started.

“I don’t want to leave her.” My voice was dry and cracked with the words. Jim nodded.

“Let’s get you fed. Christine has offered to stay with her, and Bones is planning on keeping her asleep. She’ll never know you were gone.” He laced his fingers in mine and pulled me to my feet.

“I don’t know.” I looked between him and Katie, eyes lingering on my little girl, sleeping peacefully. Her arm was already looking better.

“Captain’s orders,” he insisted. “Come along, Lieutenant.”

I allowed Jim to lead me out of Medbay and down to the commissary. We ate, mostly in silence, not speaking until he brushed a tear from my cheek. “You can’t blame yourself for this.”

“She’s been here one day, Jim,” I countered. “One day.”

“It was just as likely to happen with your parents as it was here.” He was trying to comfort me.

“But that’s the point. No matter where she is, it’s my fault,” I sighed.

“Bryn, Katie is a gifted child. I saw her records. She was going to a science academy this year, regardless of where you wound up. That accident could have happened anywhere. We just need to be grateful it wasn’t worse.” Jim squeezed my hand as he spoke. I flicked at my food and sighed again.

“I’m not really hungry, Jim,” I admitted.

“I don’t know what to say to make you feel better, Bryn,” he shrugged. “But this wasn’t your fault.”

“I appreciate the effort,” I smiled. It was the first real conversation that we’d had, and I thought it was a good start. “I think I’ll go check on her though.”

McCoy glared at me as I walked back into Medbay and took my seat at Katie’s bedside. I picked up her chart and started reading. He snatched it right back out of my hands before I got past my last notes.

“I’m pretty sure I told Jim to keep you away for at least an hour,” he grumbled. “And as you are not her doctor, but her parent, you can’t be looking at her chart. You know that.”

“I am -”

“Not working as a doctor right now,” Leonard interrupted. “So take a deep breath and just be Mama.”

“I hate you,” I grumbled. He smiled.

“Good. That means I’m doing my job.” He winked and squeezed my shoulder. “You don’t have to like me, you just have to trust me.”

“You already know I trust you with my life,” I argued. 

“Then trust me with hers,” he chided. His tone softened. “This isn’t a bad injury, Bryn. It’s just a time-consuming and painful treatment.”

“I know.”

“Then go get some actual rest. I’ll comm you at the first sign she’s coming out of sedation,” he ordered. I glared at him again, but went back to my quarters and took a shower, and changed into a clean uniform. I tried to stay away, and prove to him that I did trust him, but I was drawn back to Medbay before the start of Gamma shift. I held up my hand to stop him from chastising me and just sat in the chair at Katie’s bedside.

“I swear, I’m not going to interfere, but I can’t stay away,” I pre-empted him. He nodded.

XXX

“Mama, I’m fine!” Katie protested as I fussed over her. Leonard had discharged her when the burn was nearly completely healed, and I had been assessing her range of motion and level of pain every morning since. “It’s been a week. I’m fine. You need to trust Uncle Bones.”

“Uncle Bones?” I laughed. “When did you start calling him that?”

“He asked me to come in every day after your shift so he can check on me without worrying you. I probably was not supposed to tell you that. Anyhow, a few days ago, Jim came in looking for you. So he talked to Uncle Bones about me and you, and kept calling him Bones. It’s the best nickname ever,” she explained. “But he’s grumpy and fussy like Pops is, and it just felt right to call him uncle. Like I call Kara auntie.”

“And is he okay with that?” I questioned.

“He hasn’t told me not to?” She asked back. “He kinda seems the type that would tell me to stop, you know?”

“He definitely is.”

“I like him, Mama. He gives great hugs and -”

“You hugged him?” I was astonished. He was always so uncomfortable when I threw my arms around him. And I’d done it to him a lot. I got a somewhat perverse pleasure from making him squirm, so any time I thought a situation called for a hug, I would wrap my arms around him. 

“He hugged me,” she corrected. “And he’s good at it. He gives Dad hugs.”

“Dad hugs?”

“The kind of hug you give, only he’s a guy, so it’s a Dad hug.” She rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Honestly, Mama, keep up.”

I sat back and watched her finish getting ready for school. After her accident, she hadn’t even hesitated to go back and try more experiments. She had waved off my concern with a nonchalance that I initially thought was foolhardy, but really had been quite brave. She hadn’t got that from me. I’d been carefully avoiding my anti-grav drills with Leonard since my panic attack. She was an excellent lesson in determination, and I realized that I was learning more from her than she might be learning from me. It was time to face my fears and emulate my ten-year-old’s behaviour. I rose from the couch and kissed her forehead.

“You’re okay getting to class?” I asked, as I did every morning.

“Mama!”

“Have a good day.” I gave her a squeeze and headed to Medbay. Leonard was already at his desk, reading his PADD. I couldn’t see a cup, so I made us both coffees and headed into his office.

“Katie thinks you’re awesome,” I offered, putting the cup down in front of him. He glanced up, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, there’s no accounting for taste,” he muttered.

“She said you give Dad hugs,” I pressed on. His cheeks flushed, just a little.

“She’s a good girl,” he deflected.

“Are you available tonight for an anti-grav drill?” I asked. He hadn’t pressed my avoidance, like he somehow sensed it was too much. His head shot up in surprise, and he put the PADD down on the desk.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, Katie’s got plans to work on some robotics thing with a couple of the other kids tonight, so I’m free,” I offered.

“And you don’t want to spend that time with Jim?” He asked.

“I’d like to face this fear again before it becomes insurmountable,” I explained. He nodded.

“Okay. I have time.”

“Thanks, Uncle Bones,” I teased with a wink. He rolled his eyes.

“No.”

“I think it’s cute.”

“From Katie, sure,” he agreed. “Not from you. Go check on Ensign McKay.”

I forced myself to stay busy all shift to keep my mind off the drill, and keep my anxieties at bay. Katie and I went for a run when she got in from school, an activity I’d only just learned she enjoyed. Keeping up with her definitely kept my mind off the drill. I let her have the shower first so she could get ready for her study group, and then dragged myself through the sonic myself. We headed to the education centre together.

“How late do you figure you’ll be?” I asked.

“A few hours at least. We’re building fighting robots,” she explained.

“And this is for school?”

“It’s basic robotics, Mama.” She rolled her eyes. “If we can make these robots, we get to move on to trying out our skills robots. I’m going to start with a housebot that will change sheets and make beds.”

“Okay, comm me when you are done.” I watched her run to her friends and start talking excitedly about their plans. Mr. Yim stepped over to me and smiled.

“She’s fitting in well, and she’s exceptionally bright,” he started. “She may qualify for early entry to the academy if she keeps this up.”

“Well, we’ve got a few years before we need to be concerned with that,” I laughed.

“Now’s the time to start, Doctor Erikssen,” he contradicted me. “She could go at thirteen or fourteen.”

I sighed and felt my mouth turn down. “But I just got her back,” I sighed.

“The sooner she goes, the sooner she can come back as an officer.” He winked. “You’re right. She’s got a few years before the option opens. But with your permission, I would like to challenge her as much as she can manage. Because she is bright enough.”

“Is there anyone on board who was an early entry?” I asked. “It would be nice to talk to someone who’s experienced being that young at the academy. For me and for Katie.”

“I’ll try to find out for you.” He agreed. I excused myself and made my way to level seven to meet Bones. He was looking at the time on his comm when I stepped off the turbolift.

“You’re sure about this? You’re late.”

“I was talking to Jung Yim about Katie.” I nodded. “She’s doing well.”

“She’s very bright,” he agreed.

“It’s only been a week,” I protested.

“She’s very bright, Bryn,” he laughed. “Come on.”

I followed him to the cargo hold and waited for the gravity to turn off. I took a deep breath when Scotty’s voice informed us the gravity was going off, and closed my eyes. I forced myself to think about swimming instead of the gravity being gone, and the nausea wasn’t quite as extreme. I opened my eyes and saw Leonard staring at me. I took another deep breath and pulled myself forward like I was doing a breaststroke from one side of the room to the other. Every time I felt a wave of vertigo or panic, I stopped, closed my eyes and breathed until everything started to settle. I was halfway back across when Scotty’s voice warned us that the gravity was coming back on. I felt the panic well up inside me.

“Trust physics. Trust physics. Trust physics.” I repeated it over and over and over, my voice barely above a whisper, my eyes squeezed tight shut. I let out a startled squeak as I felt myself moving faster than I thought I should be. “Trust physics. Trust physics. Trust physics.” I must have been saying it louder than I realized because suddenly Leonard was holding my hand. The tips of my toes grazed the floor, and I opened my eyes and looked down right as my feet settled completely. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, and then felt a wave of triumph wash over me.

“That was much better,” Leonard commented, letting go of my hand like it was on fire. I looked down at my feet and up at the ceiling of the cargo hold in wonder. Then back to my feet. Then at Leonard.

“That was fucking horrible!” I exclaimed. “But I didn’t die!”

“If you can keep your shit together consistently, maybe we can consider a medbay simulation.” Leonard was getting ahead of himself. I laughed, still giddy from my first success.

“How about we see if I can do this a second time before you start planning the scary shit?” I asked. “Now gimme a Dad hug!” I threw my arms around him and he pulled me in close, resting his head on the top of mine. I laid my cheek on his chest and sighed, content. 

“You should try to catch up with Jim while you have some time.” His voice rumbled against my cheek. I leaned back, still in the circle of his arms, and smiled up at him.

“You’re a good man, Leonard McCoy,” I told him. He rolled his eyes.

“Hardly. But I’ll take the compliment while you still think so,” he retorted. I shook my head and turned out of the hug. I checked my comm for messages from Katie, saw that I had none and sent one to check in with her. I got a short response from her that basically told me she was having too much fun to be worried about how long she was going to be. I send Jim a quick message to see if he wanted to meet for a drink and was gratified by an near instant response inviting me to his quarters, which was followed almost as quickly with a response that he would he happy to meet me at the cantina for drinks if that was what I preferred. I had already selected his level on the turbolift and just kept on course. He opened the door and smiled, gesturing for me to enter.


	14. Chapter 14

There was a chess board set up in the lounge. I looked at it, a little surprised.

“You said we don’t talk, and you’re right,” he offered by way of explanation. “I thought maybe a game of chess would allow us both to relax enough to get to know each other a little better.”

“I’m a terrible chess player, but okay,” I agreed. I sat down in the offered seat, and watched Kirk make his first move. I slid a player forward, and he grinned. 

“You aren’t kidding about being terrible,” he laughed.

“Well, next time we’ll play poker. And when you bet the ship and lose, I might even let you stay on,” I sassed. He grinned.

“Bones says Katie’s arm has healed up perfectly.” He changed the subject. I nodded and watched him make another move. I cringed. I wasn’t quite sure where to move next. I shifted a piece and kept an eye on Jim. His eyes gleamed. Shit. “I hear they’re working on robots tonight?”

“Fighting robots,” I laughed. “I guess once they iron out the kinks in their build and the programming, they’ll move on to their real projects.”

“It must be nice to have her with you, finally.”

“Better than I could have imagined,” I nodded. “She’s really funny, Jim. Her sense of humour is quick, like the rest of her mind, I guess. She gets that from her father, I think.”

“You’re an incredibly intelligent woman, Bryn, don’t sell yourself short,” he chided. I shook my head.

“I’m not, honestly, Jim,” I denied. “But I’m not in the same league as she is.”

“Bones says her father was on the Farragut,” he asked. He moved his rook. I nodded. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“I lost Eli the day he left for Starfleet,” I shrugged. “When I was notified that he’d been killed in the line of duty, I was relieved more than anything. At least Katie will grow up believing the reason she never knew her dad was because he’s dead. Instead of disinterested, which is what he really was.”

“She spent your Academy years with your parents, right? Did his parents -”

“He never told his parents. Eli told me once he was worried that between his parents and Starfleet, Katie would prevent him from reaching the stars. It was why he slowly slipped away,” I explained, forgetting about the game as I spoke. “His parents found out after the Farragut, of course, because Katie was named as his sole beneficiary in his personnel file. I’d badgered him into doing it when he first joined Starfleet. I wanted to be sure Katie would have something if he was killed.”

“Are they involved at all now?” 

“No,” I smiled. “The last excuse they gave me was that Katie remind them too much of him. Before that, it was that Reykjavik was too far from Portland.”

“So they have no idea -”

“Katie’s never suffered from not having her father or his parents involved in her life. My parents have provided more than enough love for her,” I interrupted, shifting the bishop in what was, without question, the wrong direction. Jim smirked and fixed the move.

“You really are terrible at this. They are missing out,” Jim sighed. “I’ll never understand that.”

“That’s enough about my terrible life decisions. What put you in the captain’s seat younger than anyone else?” I redirected the conversation. 

“Isn’t being the famous Kelvin baby enough?” He quirked an eyebrow. 

“I somehow think that made things harder,” I countered.

“I joined Starfleet on a dare,” he admitted. “Admiral Pike found me, bleeding, in a bar. He recognized my name, and challenged me to live up to my father’s legacy.”

“Ouch,” I laughed. 

“Nah, it’s probably the best decision I’ve ever made,” he moved another piece. “I mean, other than this one. Checkmate.”

“I told you I was bad at this game.” I threw up my hands in resignation.

“How about this time, I give you a lesson?” He offered, resetting the board. My comm chirped. I checked the message, and rose.

“Next time? Katie is done for the evening, and I don’t like her to be alone,” I excused. He nodded, and leaned forward to brush a soft kiss against my lips.

“Of course.”

XXX

Katie was talking to someone when I walked into our quarters. I peeked around behind her and saw it was Kara.

“There’s the lady I was looking for!” Kara waved. “It’s been ages, and I wanted to catch up. I can’t tell you how pleased I am to actually see you and Katie in the same screen. It’s been too long!”

“I’m pretty happy about it,” I admitted. I turned to Katie. “Run and get ready for bed, and then you can come back and talk to Auntie K some more.” Katie reluctantly walked away from the screen, and pulled a face over my shoulder before she disappeared into her room.

“Honestly, she looks more like you every day. Ginger you. Even more trouble than you are,” she laughed.

“Because I’ve ever been a troublemaker,” I laughed. 

“You have a barely repressed wild streak a mile wide and you know it,” she challenged. “What mischief have you been up to on the Enterprise?”

“Work, work, work, Katie, and work,” I shrugged. “Oh! I got my eyes fixed.”

“Finally! Do you love waking up with life in focus?” Kara asked.

“It’s amazing,” I admitted. Katie plopped down beside me to listen in.

“And now that you’re a free woman and Starfleet knows all about Miss Katie-cat, are you enjoying that freedom? The Enterprise has a huge crew. Target rich environment.” She waggled her eyebrows. I felt my cheeks heat and rolled my eyes.

“Not a huge priority.” I shifted my eyes toward Katie, hoping Kara would understand it wasn’t something I wasn’t interested in discussing in front of my daughter.

“Bullshit!” Kara called me out.

“She was out with Uncle Bones tonight,” Katie offered with a laugh.

“Uncle Bones?” Kara’s eyebrows lifted. I rolled my eyes again.

“Doctor McCoy is the CMO, and he is my mentor,” I said firmly. “He has been helping me with anti-grav drills a few times a week.”

“And you’re interested?” Kara pressed. 

“I really like him. As a friend. And as a mentor.” I made my words clear and steady. “He’s all prickles on the outside and then he does something thoughtful, like make arrangements with the chief engineer to take over a cargo hold to help me get over the fear of floating.”

“Is he single?” Kara asked. “He sounds like a keeper. Jump on that, if you haven’t already.”

“Kara!” I exclaimed. “He is my boss!” It sounded hollow, even to me. 

“Of course he is. Who else would you have had the opportunity to know well enough to jump in the sack with?” She was like a honey badger about it. 

“So how’s the Yorktown?” I changed the subject. Obviously. And deliberately.

“It’s actually pretty awesome here. I scrubbed in on a caesarian section yesterday.” She allowed the topic change.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, it was intense,” she grinned. Katie yawned beside me.

“What’s a caesarian section?” she asked.

“When you cut the baby out of a mother,” Kara supplied before I could respond. Katie made a face.

“Grosso.” She rose and kissed my cheek. “Good night, Mama. Good night, Auntie K.” When her bedroom door slid shut, Kara’s eyes took on a mercenary gleam.

“So McCoy?” 

“Nope. Tell me about your love life first.” I refused to engage. Kara laughed.

“There’s a few really cute nurses on staff, but I’m still settling in.” She shrugged. “I’m in no hurry. Back to you.”

“Leonard is filling in the void left by your absence. He’s been an incredible mentor, and now he is becoming my friend,” I explained. “That’s really all there is to is.”

“But you look so relaxed,” Kara countered. “Is there someone?”

“Maybe.” I was deliberately being vague because I didn’t want to risk Katie overhearing, but I also didn’t want to admit that I was sleeping with the captain.

“Am I your best friend, or not?” Kara’s words were stern, but I could see the amusement in her eyes. I sighed.

“There is someone,” I finally admitted. “We’re currently in the sneaking around stage of whatever it is we are doing.”

“Sneaking around suggests something illicit.” Kara raised an eyebrow. “So you’re either boning an enlisted guy, or someone who outranks you.”

“I don’t see how that’s important,” I warned, cursing my inability to hide anything from her. Even if she wasn’t able to maneuver the answer out of me, the flaming cheeks were giving it away.

“But really, as long as the enlisted guy isn’t under your command, it’s not a big deal, and there’s no reason to sneak around,” she continued. “Which suggests it’s someone who outranks you.”

“Kara.” My voice was a caution. “It’s not relevant to anything.”

“All the other docs on board are the same rank as you.” She was in active problem solving mode. I sighed. She was going to figure it out on her own. “Really, the only people who outrank you are in command positions.”

“Kara!” I exclaimed. “I’m not kidding, now. This isn’t something I really want to discuss.”

“And you’re being so secretive! So incredibly secretive. I’d almost hazard you’re sleeping with the captain if that weren’t such a ridiculous idea,” she laughed. I didn’t think it was possible for me to blush any worse than I already was, but I felt my face burning. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you,” I sighed.

“You’re -” she gaped. “Does anyone else know?”

“So the guy from the bar happens to be on the Enterprise,” I deflected. “And that’s all I’m saying.”

“The guy from the bar was Captain Kirk?” She squeaked. I dropped my head against the desk. “Like, the Captain Kirk. Cheated the Kobayashi Maru Kirk? Slept with half the Academy Kirk?”

“Just shut up, Kara,” I groaned.

“You’re sneaking around with your Captain? This is the most beautiful moment of my life,” Kara crowed. “Kara, you should be more discrete! Kara, that dress is too short! Kara, we have exams tomorrow, why are you going out partying? Kara, that Orion girl will give you a headache!”

“Yeah, I get it.” I still hadn’t looked up. But I could hear her shuffling around on the other end of the link, and new she was doing her happy gloating dance.

“Woman, you never do anything by halves!” She laughed. “So he won you over with his notorious charm?”

“Not exactly?” I finally looked up, and she truly looked like the cat who’d caught the canary.

“What does that even mean? You’re just friends with benefits?”

“I wouldn’t even say we’re friends yet,” I admitted.

“You’re using your captain to scratch an itch?” The calm with which she said it was completely betrayed by the incredulous look on her face.

“It’s complicated?”

“It’s not really complicated. Either you’re friends, or you’re strangers. Either you’re screwing or you aren’t,” she shot back. “Anyhow, sunshine, I’m on Gamma tonight, so I’ve got to run. Be a good girl.”

“I love you, Kara. I miss you loads,” I smiled.

“Even when I give you grief?” She winked.

“Even.”

XXX

I arrived to a Medbay in chaos. There were ops crew on every biobed, and the nurses were on a flat run. I found Christine, her usually crisp blue uniform already covered in blood.

“What is going on?” I asked, my heart rate immediately accelerating. She turned to me, face ashen.

“The captain sent an away crew to the surface of the planet we’re charting. Surface scans said there was no sentient life, but the rocks attacked. We’re full of crush injuries and there’s not enough regenerators to go around,” she explained. “I’m trying to triage right now.”

“Where’s Bones?” I asked. She stopped and turned.

“He and the captain are still on the surface. Spock too,” she said. “Doctor M’Benga has the worst in surgery, but we need direction.”

“Keep with triage. I want all scans routed to my PADD, and we’ll start regens on a priority,” I grabbed my PADD and flipped my comm open. “Erikssen to McCoy.”

“I’ve been trying to hail you for the last forty minutes, kid. Where the hell have you been?”

“Getting ready for my shift with my comm nowhere near me. I’m here now. M’Benga is in surgery, and I’m working on the wounded. I need an updated casualty list from the surface, and I’d like you to teleport them by priority.” I flicked through my PADD as I spoke, then reached for a rack of pain control medication and began loading hypos while I waited for McCoy to respond.

“We haven’t many crew left down here,” he replied. “Essentially we’re mopping up. I should be beaming back shortly.”

“Are you injured? The captain? Spock?” I asked.

“We’re the least of your worries, kid. Get to work up there, we’re sending another four. McCoy out.”

I flicked through the injury reports and scans on my PADD and started checking on each patient, giving pain control and sedation hypos as needed. For the worst cases, I assigned a nurse to constant monitoring, and arranged a priority queue for the regenerators according to severity of injury. Then I got to work setting the regenerators working. Once each one was in use, I called Christine back to me.

“I need your help autosuturing these minor injuries,” I explained. “Once I have sutures in, I want topical analgesic and pressure dressings until we can get at them with the dermal regenerator.”

“Of course. I’ll get the kit.” We worked through the minor lacerations quickly, and I left her dressing wounds as I reassessed the work of the regenerators. As the dermal regenerators finished closing the wounds, I rescanned and applied osteo-regenerators where they were needed. I handed each dermal generator off for cleaning and gave orders for who got them next before moving back to Christine.

“Ensign Rickman’s femur is crushed beyond what I can repair. Do you know where M’Benga is in his surgery?” I needed to consult with the doctor before I made a rash decision.

“He’s wrapping up. You could gown and enter,” she replied. I threw a sterile gown on and held a mask to my face, and opened the theatre doors, stepping in quickly.

“Geoff, I have a femur that is crushed beyond what I can repair, can I pick your brain while you close?” I asked. I hadn’t worked with Geoffrey M’Benga yet, but we’d passed one another frequently at shift changes. He was an excellent doctor.

“Just give me -” he trailed off, fiddling with the laser scalpel. “Okay, yes, Bryn?”

“Rickman’s femur is crushed beyond what an osteo-regen can handle. The bone is pulped. Obviously, I’ve managed the risk of fat embolus, and he’s sedated, but it’s going to need amputation. Would he be a candidate for bioregeneration of the limb, or would he be better sent to a starbase for rehabilitation with a synthetic limb?”

“How are things out there? If it’s still a raging madhouse, beam him to the nearest starbase asap,” M’Benga ordered.

“I’m backed up two or three for every regenerator, I have five sutured until I can treat them more appropriately, and the captain, Spock and Bones are still on the surface, beaming back injured,” I replied.

“Beam him to the starbase,” M’Benga confirmed. “I’ll be out to help as soon as I can.” I nodded and headed out, pulling the sterile gear off. I called for a medic to transport Rickman to the transporter room, and informed Scotty of what was required. I remembered before sending the ensign to ask which starbase was closest and then sent a quick message off to their medical team, telling them to expect admissions.

“Scott to Erikssen, you’re needed in the transporter room. Bring a medkit.” Scotty’s voice chirped out of my comm. I handed my PADD to Chapel and took the medkit she offered.

“When M’Benga comes out of surgery, show him our progress. I trust you can continue carrying out my orders in the meantime.” I headed to the turbolift at a quick walk.

“Scott to Erikssen, you’re needed. Now!” Scotty’s voice was strained. I picked up my pace to a jog as I got off the turbolift. I ran into the transporter room and stopped, dropping my medkit in shock. Spock was holding up both Jim and Leonard. Jim’s uniform was shredded, and he was bleeding from at least three separate places. And Leonard. My heart nearly stopped. Leonard was barely standing. One arm hung limply at his side and the other was bracing his ribs. He was bleeding from a deep laceration on his face, and there was blood dripping from the corner of this mouth.

“What the fuck happened?” I demanded, looking at Spock. He was filthy, and not uninjured himself, although he was certainly the best off of the three of them. I moved my medkit to the transporter steps, and gestured for Spock to transfer Leonard’s weight over to me. Between the two of us, we lowered him to the base of the transporter pad. Jim was looking a little shocky, but Leonard was nearly non-responsive.

“The geological beings regrouped to make a final salvo toward us just as we communicated to Mr. Scott that the last group was ready for transport. With no one left to attack, they focussed their attention on the three of us. Doctor McCoy received the brunt of the attack. The largest of the geological beings rolled from a high hill, dropping onto his shoulder. When he fell to the ground, the other beings desisted in their attack on myself and Captain Kirk and began to focus their attention on Doctor McCoy,” Spock explained, as I ran the tricorder screen over Leonard. His blood pressure was trending to low, and his heart rate was fast. He was going into shock. 

“Scotty, I need more staff up here. Someone to transfer the captain to Doctor M’Benga, and ask for Chapel to come help me with Bones,” I called over my shoulder. I pulled a hypo from my kit and gave Leonard something for pain before continuing my assessment. His blood pressure kept dropping.

“Leo, I’m giving you morathial, your blood pressure is low.” I spoke as calmly as I could. “You just had morphenolog for pain. As soon as you’re stable, I’ll transport you to medbay.” He groaned and reached for me with his good arm.

“Jim?”

“He’s better than you, and I’ve sent him to M’Benga,” I replied. “Shh.”

“Spock?”

“Hardly a scratch on him. Says that you distracted the rock things. Now hush, and let me work on you.” I kept my voice gentle. The tricorder showed his blood pressure stabilizing, but still low. I ran the scanner across the ribs he’d been protecting, and sure enough, they were broken. And his spleen was torn. He was much more emergent than I realized. “Shit.” I administered sonambutril and looked at Scotty. 

“Lass?”

“I need to get to medbay right fucking now,” I hissed. He nodded, and two security officers had Leonard up on a stretcher before I could think. I collected my medkit and ran after them, barely making the turbolift before it closed. The turbolift opened and Christine was waiting. Her eyes widened when she saw McCoy, unconscious, on the stretcher.

“What -”

“His spleen is shredded, and he’s bleeding out. Run ahead and tell M’Benga I need the surgery,” I said to her. She nodded and ran back to medbay. I turned to the security officers. “I need him brought directly to surgery. Do not jostle him. Do not shake him. And for god’s sake, don’t drop him. I’m going to go scrub.” I ran down the corridor, and tore into medbay, not really noticing anything around me. I started my scrub at the sink in the surgery and was met by Chapel.

“M’Benga says you shouldn’t be cutting,” she relayed. I raised an eyebrow as I dried my hands. She signalled to the scrub nurse to help me with my gown and gloves as Leonard came into the theatre.

“Tell Geoff to look at the scans. I don’t have a choice,” I replied. I turned to the scrub nurse. “We need to open him and do as much suturing as we can to that spleen, and then close. I’ll need a dermal regen unit, a protoplaser, and a vascular regen unit. And apparently some old timey doctoring skills. Steri-field on, please.”

She rolled the support frame over Leonard’s body. I stopped and took a deep breath, before picking up the laser scalpel and cutting into his body. I concentrated on opening his abdomen and suctioning the blood out, before taking the microsuture kit and piecing the spleen back together. I was nearly finished repairing the worst of the spleen when M’Benga charged into the room.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Erikssen?” He demanded. I continued applying sutures, and ran the protoplaser across the organ to finish the repairs before I answered.

“Saving his life.” I checked the spleen and it looked visually viable. I ran the tricorder scanner across it, and it the microsutures were holding, and the protoplaser had finished the tissue repair. I reached for the vascular regenerator and held it over the surgical site, waiting as it repaired the damage to the blood vessels supplying the organ. Another scan with the tricorder confirmed all the veins and arteries were intact. 

“I specifically said you shouldn’t open him.” M’Benga was the type of guy that got quiet when he was angry. I could barely hear him.

“Had we opted for external treatment, he would have died!” I exclaimed, still not looking away from what I was doing.

“I don’t disagree, Erikssen,” he said. “I said you shouldn’t open him.”

“Me? Why? Because I’m inexperienced?” I asked, closing Leonard with microsutures. It was hard not to be offended.

“Because you are too close to the patient!” It exploded out of him, and I thought I felt the room shake. I stopped suturing Leonard and looked up at M’Benga.

“Of course I’m close to the patient! Leonard is my mentor. And my friend!” I exclaimed. “I would think you would understand not waiting!” I shook my head and started to use the dermal regenerator to seal the incision. I forced my breathing back to normal as I finished the surgery and did a final scan with the tricorder. Everything looked good. “He’ll need two units transfused. He lost a lot of blood. And he still needs osteo-regen for his ribs, but that can probably wait.”

“Meet me in McCoy’s office when you have him stable in medbay,” M’Benga ordered. I nodded curtly. The scrub nurse was already hanging the first unit of blood.

“Come and get me if anything about him changes, please.” I stepped out of the theatre and stripped out of my gown. I could see M’Benga pacing in Leonard’s office and I felt a pang of nerves as I headed toward him.

“Sit,” he demanded. I refused. 

“With all due respect, sir, sitting sets up an unequal power dynamic that I am not comfortable with. If you feel you must discipline me, and you choose to stand, I will do the same,” I squared my jaw to the acting CMO. He raised an eyebrow and sighed.

“I want to discipline you. I want to pull you from service right now for disobeying my direct orders -”

“Again, sir, no disrespect meant, but you passed that message through Chapel to me. That was not a direct order. You were far too busy with Captain Kirk to also be managing the needs of Doctor McCoy,” I interrupted. He clenched his jaw and shook his head.

“I can see why Leonard likes you. You’re just as goddamn contrary as he is,” M’Benga sighed. “How is he doing?”

I handed my PADD to him with Leonard’s scans open. He flicked through the imaging, nodding the whole time. “He’s receiving two units right now. I need to run regen on his ribs, but that’s not emergent. The sedation should wear off in the next half hour or so. I’ll be monitoring him the whole time.”

“You did a helluva good job with triage and emergency management. I’ve called in additional hands, I’d like you to manage Doctor McCoy and keep an eye on Captain Kirk and Lieutenant Commander Spock,” he assigned. I raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll be running all over the ship, Geoff,” I protested. Geoff glanced over my shoulder. I followed his gaze to where Leonard was lying. Both Jim and Spock were lingering near his bedside. “Shit. Maybe I should just move Bones to his room and monitor the lot of them there.”

“I’ll have someone assist with that transfer.”


	15. Chapter 15

“I assure you, Doctor Erikssen, I am suffering no lingering after effects of my experience with the geological beings. It is not logical for you to monitor my condition. My understanding of triage and prioritization of care in the medical field strongly suggest you discharge me from your care, which will allow you to focus adequate attention on Doctor McCoy.” Spock had started nagging me after an hour in the improvised mini-medbay of Bones’ quarters. We were on hour four, and honestly, if I had to listen to him tell me how illogical I was being one more time, I was probably going to strangle him. I held the tricorder screen up to his noted injuries. They were all stable, and well within the parametres to work. I did a quick head to toe assessment as well, and found that he really was as fine as he was suggesting. I rubbed the back of my neck and nodded.

 

“Fine, get out of here,” I sighed. “I want you to come back for another assessment in four hours.”

 

“But Doctor Erikssen, you will no longer be on duty. Your shift ends in less than an hour,” Spock argued. I raised an eyebrow.

 

“I have a duty of care to you, Spock. And it’s not like I’m going anywhere while Bones is still out. Be back in four hours for assessment.” I barely had the energy to argue. Leonard was still unconscious. His most recent scan suggested the sedative agent had worn off, and all my repairs were holding, but those kind of injuries stole all your energy reserves away, and I expected him to sleep for a while longer before he roused.

 

“I’ll be following Spock.” Jim rose from where he’d been sitting and tried following Spock out. I stepped between him and the door.

 

“No. You were hurt worse than Spock was. You don’t get to go anywhere without my permission.” I put my hand on his chest. He made a face.

 

“I’m fine. And what Spock said about prioritization of care,” he argued.

 

“Well, even Spock allowed me to assess him before I let him go,” I countered. I held up the tricorder screen and checked the listed injuries first. He had a pretty large goose egg on the back of his head, and when I scanned it, I noted it wasn’t responding as appropriately as it should be. “You’re sticking around for a while, Jim. Post-concussive symptoms don’t always show up right away. And I’m worried about that peri-orbital fracture M’Benga repaired.”

 

“I really feel fine,” he continued to argue. I shook my head and held the tricorder up to the side of his head to get an idea about intracranial pressure.

 

“I was terrified when I saw the three of you on the transporter pad,” I started. “I’m not letting any of you out of my sight until I know you’re okay.”

 

“I’m recommending you for a commendation, Bryn,” he blurted. I stopped and stepped in front of him.

 

“Why? I was doing my job,” I asked.

 

“You were able to respond immediately. You didn’t crack under pressure. Don’t think I’m not aware of how close you and Leonard have become since your assignment, he speaks highly of you. And he usually reserves praise for his friends.” Jim smoothed the hair off my face. “It must have been hard to work on your friend.”

 

I felt a tear trail down my cheek and closed my eyes, resting my cheek against his hand. “This ship needs his humanity to keep us all safe,” I admitted. “And the truth is, we are all too close to him. Someone had to treat him, and right away. No matter which one of us it was, it was a no-win scenario unless Leonard lived.”

 

“And as the newest, least experienced doctor on the crew, you were able to recognize that. And act on it. And not fall apart,” he continued. “Other captains might chastise you for making that same decision, but I won’t fault you. I choose to recognize the level of bravery it took for you to step in and save him.”

 

“Thank you,” I sighed. “Recommendation for commendation or not, though, Jim. You aren’t going anywhere. Your intracranial pressure is slightly elevated.” He laughed and looked around the room.

 

“Then help me move this couch so we have somewhere more comfortable to sit while you monitor his condition.” He walked over to the couch in Leonard’s lounge and shifted one end. Against my better judgment, I allowed that he could take one end while I took the other, and we moved the couch over by Leonard’s bed. I nudged it just a hair closer with my hip, and flopped down on it. Jim dropped beside me, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I put my feet up on the bed. “Is that really appropriate?”

 

“Little trick I learned from him,” I laughed. “I’m exhausted. You’re exhausted. We might fall asleep if we’re comfortable. If my feet are up on the bed, when he moves, he’s going to wake me.”

 

“Clever,” Jim admitted. I laid my head against his chest, and sure enough, was asleep moments later. I snapped awake when Leonard grabbed my leg.

 

“It doesn’t work if you’re a heavy sleeper, kid,” he teased, his voice gravelly from disuse. I dropped my legs and sat forward, grabbing the tricorder as it started to slide from my lap. “If I’m in the bed, and Jim’s on the couch, I’m going to assume I took the worst of it.”

 

I ran the tricorder over his chest and nodded. “Congratulations. You have the dubious honour of having had my hands inside you.”

 

He snorted back a laugh and then flinched, guarding his side. “What -”

 

“Your spleen looked more like tomato soup than an organ. It’s repaired now. Tricorder says function is at 84 percent, which is up sixty since the surgery. Your ribs were crushed too,” I yawned. “You had two units, and your labs are due for a repeat in about an hour.”

 

“And Jim?”

 

“Concussion, peri-orbital fracture. Multiple lacerations and contusions. Nothing some time with a regen didn’t fix.” I rattled it all off. “And the rest of the away team is also fine. We had to run some crazy triage because we just didn’t have enough equipment, but that went smoothly once we got it sorted.”

 

“Why are we in my room?” He’d pushed himself up to sitting.

 

“Medbay was busting at the seams when I brought you out of surgery. And I had you, Jim and Spock as a patient load,” I explained.

 

“And where is Katie?” He demanded.

 

“Mr. Yim offered to keep a group after classes today to work on robotics again, and then Nyota offered to have a slumber party with her,” I laughed. He scowled.

 

“Go take care of her, and leave Jim and I to manage ourselves,” he suggested, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed. He paused and closed his eyes. He swayed a little. I put a hand on his shoulder to stabilize him.

 

“Yeah, that seems like a great idea.” My tone was probably snarkier than it needed to be. He opened one eye to glare at me.

 

“I can have you put on suspension, you know,” he threatened. I laughed.

 

“Not while M’Benga is the acting CMO. You’re on medical leave until I sign off on a return to work.” I smiled innocently. If looks could kill, I’m pretty sure I would have dropped, with no possibility of resuscitation. He tried to push himself off the bed unsteadily and I stepped forward, taking his arm. “What exactly do you think you’re doing, Leonard?”

 

“Can’t a man keep a shred of dignity?” He snapped. “I need to take a leak.” He tried swatting my hand away, but was too shaky to be terribly effective. I rolled my eyes and slipped my arm under his, helping him over to the bathroom slowly.

 

“I’m sure you’ll be strong enough to be crotchety in the next couple days, but in the meantime, just accept my help?” I suggested. I stepped into the bathroom with him and he flushed.

 

“I don’t need you to hold it,” he snarled. I laughed.

 

“I didn’t think you did. I wanted to make sure you were holding on before I left you,” I chuckled. “I’m pretty sure your so-called dignity would suffer much more if I had to pull you out of the bathroom with your pants around your knees.” He slapped his hand against the sink with such force that Jim started awake with a snort on the couch.

 

“As you can see, I am quite capable of taking care of this,” he barked. I held up my hands in surrender and backed out of the bathroom. I shook my head as the door slid shut and leaned against the wall to wait. Jim furrowed his brow in question.

 

“He needed the bathroom. Doctors are the worst patients,” I replied, as though it explained everything.

 

“Bones is probably the worst,” Jim chuckled. “Come on, let me take care of helping him back.” He came to stand by the bathroom door. I walked over to the replicator and made us all something to eat. I saw that Gran’s stew and dumplings was programmed in, and figured Leonard would want comfort food. I cleared a few things scattered on his table away, and in the process knocked over a holo-photo frame. When I picked it up, a picture of Leonard, smiling,  holding a beautiful little blonde girl in his arms illuminated. I looked closer and realized it was taken when he was a cadet, which would make the little girl roughly the same age as Katie. The quick way he’d taken on the challenge of getting Katie to me suddenly made sense. I slipped it under the PADD I was moving and put everything on a bookshelf as Jim helped Leonard to the table. He hadn’t told me about the child for a reason. I wasn’t about to confront him about it when he was already down.

 

I served dinner while Jim helped Leonard sit, and I was gratified to notice that he was just as snarly with his best friend as he was with me. I sat across from Leonard at watched as he ate slowly. I wasn’t sure what I was worried about, but I felt unsettled. He was too weak, maybe. His labs would tell me more.

 

“You planning on eating, or just staring at me all night?” He snapped. I sighed, tired and irritated by the attitude.

 

“You know I can just sedate you until you’re in a better mood,” I bit back.

 

“I’ll be just as ornery when I wake up,” he growled. 

 

“I could probably counter that with theragen,” I countered. Jim laughed as Leonard scowled and opened his mouth to say something.

 

“You two are like an old married couple,” he interjected. “Do you always squabble this much? I might want you on separate shifts if this is your usual behaviour.”

 

“He’s crankier than usual,” I offered.

 

“She’s being irrational,” Leonard barked.

 

“You frightened her, Bones,” Jim countered. “So maybe you could go easier on her.” Leonard scowled at Jim and then glared at me.

 

“I’m not so -”

 

“Chapel said Medbay couldn’t have been more efficient had you run it. M’Benga said that she didn’t hesitate in any of her decisions. You now have an emergency experienced Doctor, and she finished training less than three months ago. And she had to perform a delicate surgery on her mentor.” Jim’s voice took on a firmer tone. “You will recognize her success, Bones. That’s an order.”

 

Leonard finished his stew and pushed his bowl away wordlessly, and Jim glared at him as they descended into a silent battle of wills. I’d felt awkward and uncomfortable sitting there, listening to Jim chastise Leonard, but more so once they were locked in some sort of staring competition. I excused myself to collect my lab draw equipment before breaking the contest up.

 

“Leonard, I need to draw some labs, and check your CBC and electrolytes.” He pushed away from the table and rolled his sleeve up without breaking his gaze with Jim. He was still too pale, but there was a slight flush to his cheeks from anger.

 

“Just don’t stab me with a real needle,” he snapped. I felt my cheeks flush. 

 

“I had to open you, Leonard. I had no choice.” I placed the syringe against the inside of his arm and watched as the needleless access device took the sample, and analysed it. “We might need to transfuse you again tomorrow. Can I help you back to your bed?”

 

“Jim can.” He shook his head and his shoulders slumped. He finally looked at me, and his eyes weren’t hiding the same level of anger. “You really oughta check in with Katie. She won’t know what’s happened, and she’ll be worried.”

 

“You need monitoring, Bones.” I squeezed his shoulder. “But I appreciate the thought.”

 

“Damnit, kid, can’t a man take a shower?” He tried to sound angry, but the move to the table, and the meal, and his silent fight with Jim had taken the wind out of him. “Let Jim help me get to the shower while you check in with Katie. He’ll have the emergency comm open if anything goes wrong.”

 

“I can accept that,” I nodded.

 

XXX

 

Katie barrelled into me at full speed when I walked into our quarters. “Mama!” Her arms were tight around my waist.

 

“What is this all about?” I asked, pushing her hair off her face.

 

“You’re okay?” She looked up at me, worry etched across her features. I could feel her heart rate thrumming against my torso and looked up at Uhura for explanation.

 

“She’s been alternating between worried and calm since I met up with her after the robotics class. You know how kids only listen to half a story and then make up the rest? Yeah, that. The kids had quite the crazy theory about what had happened on the surface, and it just kept getting more and more elaborate until I think she was half convinced you were on the surface too,” she offered. I nodded.

 

“I hadn’t even started my shift when injured started coming back, sweetie,” I reassured her. “All I did was patch people up.”

 

“Nyota said that Jim and Uncle Bones were both hurt. Are they okay?” Katie demanded. I nodded.

 

“Jim has a headache. Leonard was hurt a little worse, but he’s on the mend,” I explained. “That’s what I came to talk to you about. Leonard needs to be monitored overnight, so I need to stay with him.”

 

“Then he was hurt more than a little worse, Mama.” Katie called out my lie. I cringed inwardly.

 

“He had a pretty serious crush injury, but I fixed it, and he’s okay now. But I need to keep an eye on him.” I evaded her gaze as I answered.

 

“I’ll stay with her, Bryn,” Uhura offered. “All the communications shifts are covered for tomorrow. And she doesn’t have school. I thought we’d watch holovids and eat really bad replicated popcorn.”

 

“Oh sure, make me jealous while I work overnight!” I laughed. I looked back to Katie, who’d relaxed enough that her jaw wasn’t tight anymore. “You’re assured I’m okay? You’re okay with Nyota?”

 

“Yeah. I just needed to see you.” Katie nodded. “Can I come see Uncle Bones in the morning?”

 

“Comm me when you wake up, and we’ll see how he’s feeling,” I agreed. I collected a change of clothes before heading back to Leonard’s quarters, determined to clean up after he’d fallen asleep for the night. When I entered, Jim was seated on the couch, exactly where we left it, reading a book. And honest to god book. And the shower was still running. Running water, no less. 

 

“Breaking out the big guns for your friend?” I teased as I flopped on the couch beside him. Jim smiled and kissed my forehead.

 

“I had engineering turn on the water for showers for both of you,” he admitted. “Although I somehow think Bones might be taking most of the supply.”

 

“Me too? I was planning on using the sonic after Leonard was sleeping,” I laughed. 

 

“There’s something about a hot shower after a day like today.” He shrugged.

 

“Good for the muscles,” I suggested. “How’s your head?”

 

“I’ve still got that headache, but it’ll pass. I’d like to request you discharge me from your care, Doctor,” he asked. “I can’t think a night on this couch will be good for me, and if you let me go, you’ll be marginally more comfortable.”

 

I nodded, and reached for my tricorder. I checked his intracranial pressure first. It was back within normal range, and all his other injuries were still looking satisfactory. “Yeah, okay. I’ll discharge you. I’d like you to report to Doctor M’Benga in the morning for continued assessment, but I feel confident you’ll be fine.”

 

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips. “We’ll have to convince Uhura to watch Katie again soon so I can thank you properly for today.” I laughed and logged my report on my PADD as he headed for his own comfortable bed. I was checking in on other patient files when the bathroom door slid open and Leonard stepped out, wrapped in nothing but a towel. I looked up, noting his colour was improved, and looked back down at my PADD to finish my charting. And then I looked back up again. And couldn’t look away. Aside from the pallor, he looked damn good. His shoulders were still damp, and they glistened from the light behind him. And he still had that soft trail of hair running down his stomach. I flushed and closed my eyes. He must have been feeling more human because he caught me staring and winked.

 

“You shouldn’t be peeking,” he teased.

 

“I’m a doctor. It’s not peeking. I’m just assessing -”

 

“You’re peeking,” he interrupted.

 

“I guess now we’re square,” I laughed. He looked confused. “After my panic attack, you put me to bed. In my underwear.”

 

“That was different!” He protested. “I needed to monitor your health, and ensure your comfort, and -”

 

“Yes, because my health was entirely compromised by my uniform,” I interrupted. “We’re even now. Put some clothes on before the odds turn in my favour.”

 

“You shouldn’t be looking at all,” he complained. I laughed again.

 

“There’s no law against looking!” I protested.

 

“Doctor-patient privilege!” He countered and stepped into his closet. I laughed even harder.

 

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen you topless, Bones!” I called. He shook his head, grabbed his clothes and stomped back into the bathroom. He reemerged, his hair pointing in every direction, and his pajamas on. He flopped on the couch beside me and put his arm around me.

 

“You really cut me open?” His voice was incredulous, and gentle.

 

“I didn’t have a choice.” I was defensive about how astonished and shocked everyone was. Open surgeries weren’t unheard of, they were just uncommon. I stiffened and he rubbed my shoulder, pulling me a little closer.

 

“I haven’t opened anyone up in years,” he admitted. “Not since before I was in Starfleet. It didn’t end well.”

 

“What happened?” I asked, looking up at him. The muscle in his jaw tensed, and he drew in a breath.

 

“It should have been straight-forward. Excision of a duodenal tumour. But once I got him open, his blood pressure dropped. Before I was able to compensate, he was gone.” I could see tears at the corner of his eye, and knew he was still too upset to really talk about it. “Some patients, they just stick with you. And you constantly go back over the case, wondering if you did the right thing.”

 

“I didn’t mean to pry,” I apologised. He shook his head.

 

“It was courageous of you to go ahead with the surgery,” he started. “Maybe a little more foolhardy that you went ahead without someone more experienced to guide you.”

 

“I -” I paused, not able to find the right words. “There’s -”

 

“I know. M’Benga was busy with other concerns and you had to make a quick decision,” he interrupted. “I’m just confused about your thought process. Jim, I could understand making a rash decision about. You’re emotionally compromised when it comes to him.”

 

I sat up, and pulled away to face him, putting a little distance between us on the couch. “And you think I’m not emotionally compromised when it comes to you, Leonard?” I felt my eyes fill with tears. “You frustrating, obstinate idiot.”

 

“Why would you be?” The look of utter confusion on his face would have been amusing if I hadn’t been so upset.

 

“You’re the best friend I have on this ship!” I exclaimed, standing and throwing my hands in the air in surrender. “Every time something has come up where you could have chosen to just be my CMO, and followed protocol, you’ve chosen kindness instead. You saw my fear about the zero-grav drills, and chose to help me, rather than relieve me of duty, which was well within your rights. You could have pushed to have me discharged over Katie, and instead you managed to get her to me within days. You could have sidelined me after the panic attack, and you didn’t. I know you probably can’t stand being saddled with a newbie that’s such a fuck up, but my friendship with you compromises me in a way my feelings for Jim never will.”

 

Leonard gaped at me. He stood up quickly and then flinched, bracing his side. I turned away to regain my composure and prep a hypo for pain, horrified by my honesty and mystified as to why I would have admitted it. I took a deep breath and tried to put on my most neutral face. “You’re having pain, let me treat it.”

 

He tipped his neck to the side and allowed me to administer the drug. When I turned to put the hypo away, he caught my arm with his hand, and turned me back toward him. “I don’t think you’re a mess. And you aren’t a burden.” He pulled me into his arms and gave me a comforting squeeze. “Are you aware you are still in your bloody uniform, kid?” 

 

“Yeah, I’ve been kind of busy taking care of this asshole patient of mine and his friends,” I replied with a low chuckle. “He just won’t slow down, and I can’t take a break.”

 

“Hit the shower, kid,” he laughed, and dropped his arms. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”

  
I collected my clean clothes and stepped into the bathroom. I turned the shower on, and was gratified by the steam that started to rise from the hot water. I stripped down and stepped into the cubicle, and allowed the water to beat down on my skin. I leaned my head against the wall and sighed. It’d been a helluva day. I opened my eyes and realized I’d left my shower kit in my room. Leonard’s shampoo was sitting on the floor of the shower stall, and I lathered up quickly, using it as body wash too. It had a clean masculine scent to it that I realized I’d come to associate with him, and it felt alarmingly intimate to be using the gel. I relaxed under the spray again and let the water wash my stress, and anxiety away. The lights in the shower flickered to let me know my ration was running out. I waited until the water ran dry before I got out and dried off. I pulled my clothes on and stepped out of the bathroom, towelling my hair dry. Leonard was stretched out on his bed, asleep. I watched his breathing as I combed and braided my hair, and then flopped on the couch. I propped my legs up beside him again, and fell fast asleep.


	16. Chapter 16

It was the aroma of fresh coffee that woke me, and I snapped into a sitting position quickly, rubbing my eyes and dropping my feet to the floor. Bones was sitting on the edge of the bed across from me, holding a cup out to me.

"When did you wake up?" I asked, taking the cup.

"About an hour ago. And don't beat yourself up, I snuck out the far side of the bed. You look exhausted," he commented.

"I am exhausted," I laughed.

"I know. You forgot to check my lab results last night. I'm fine, by the way." He picked up the tricorder from beside him and passed it to me. I checked his labs and saw significant improvement. I flicked through his chart and over to Spock's and then Jim's. They were all dramatically improved. It looked as though Spock had opted to go to medbay for his check-up the previous night. I'd forgotten about that too. I flicked back to Leonard's chart and glanced through the new charting.

"This says you've been cleared to return to duty. I didn't clear you." My brow furrowed.

"But you didn't sign out of your PADD last night, and since I am fine, I cleared myself," he smirked. I glared at him. My PADD suddenly locked me out of medbay. "I've also put you on leave for two days. You need to get some sleep, and spend some time with your daughter."

"She goes to school when I'm working, Bones," I argued.

"Pull her for two days, it's not like it's going to hurt the little brainiac." He was adamant.

"I'll send her your way when she gets upset, shall I?" I retorted with a laugh. He smirked again.

"Sure. I'll get her sorted." He pulled his pajama top over his head and wandered over to his closet to get a uniform. I gritted my teeth and collected my medkit. "See you in a couple days."

"I'm sure I'll be seeing you sooner than that," I complained as I headed out. Katie was never going to go for missing class. Mr. Yim had them working on some holographic projection program that could be used on a larger scale, and she couldn't stop talking about it.

Jim was on the turbolift when I stepped on. He smiled, and seeing that the coast was clear, pulled me into his arms for a long, lingering kiss, pressing me into the wall. I nearly dropped my tricorder.

"Wow, what was that for?" I asked, breathless. He kept me pinned against the wall, trailing his lips down my neck.

"It's been weeks since I had you alone," he murmured against my skin. "Is it strange that I'm plotting romantic assignations around Katie's school schedule, and wondering about having Bones switch you to Beta just so I can see you?"

"Oh, well, Captain, you're in luck. Doctor McCoy has put me on leave for two days. And seems to think Katie will be okay with missing classes now that Jung has them building holographic display units," I laughed, and pushed him away as the turbolift slowed.

"Comm me when you've spoken to Katie," he ordered as he stepped off the lift. I descended one more floor and stepped off onto my level. Katie and Uhura were eating breakfast when I entered our quarters.

"How's Uncle Bones?" Katie asked. No greeting for me, no worry for me. Just Leonard.

"He's well enough that he is back on duty and has ordered me to rest for two days. He suggested I pull you from classes as well, to make up for yesterday," I smiled. Katie crossed her arms over her chest and snorted.

"Not likely. We're learning the fundamentals of holographic imaging this week. I'm not missing that," she countered.

"You might want to have a conversation with Doctor McCoy about that," I challenged. "Because I have orders from him to pull you to spend time with you."

"Oh, we will see about that!" She exclaimed, and stormed out of our quarters. I bit my lip and looked at Uhura, smothering a laugh.

"I would kill to be a fly on the wall for that confrontation," she laughed. I nodded.

"She was good last night?" I asked.

"She is lovely, Bryn. Your parents obviously know how to raise smart girls," she acknowledged. "We watched some terrible film from when you and I were kids, and then she announced she was exhausted and had school in the morning."

"Thank you so much."

"Oh, it was my pleasure. She's a good girl, and it kept me from fussing too much over Spock, which is fruitless and generally unsatisfying for both of us," she laughed. My comm chirped, and I looked down at the message and laughed.

"Save me from the wrath of little girls."

"She's touched down in medbay. I wonder if Bones is bleeding yet?" I laughed, holding the message up for Uhura to see. She shook her head and headed for the door.

"Enjoy your day off," she said. "I hope you can find something to do while Katie's at school."

"Bed looks pretty comfy," I raised an eyebrow. She laughed again and waved as she left. Katie messaged a few minutes later informing me that I'd been correct in assuming she was going to school. I flopped down on the bed and commed Jim, and heard it chirp outside my door.

"Enter," I called, pre-empting the door chime. Jim stepped inside as the door opened. His mouth spread in a lazy grin when he saw me sprawled across the bed.

"I'm not sure how I feel about being summoned into your lair like this," he teased.

"Oh please," I snorted. "I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open. I was just following captain's orders in letting you know I was free."

Jim climbed on the bed beside me and laid on his side, holding his head up with his hand. He traced his fingers along my abdomen. "I've missed this," he murmured. I rolled toward him, mimicking his position on the bed.

"This?"

"You. Me. Alone."

"It's going to be more and more rare," I reminded him. "Particularly if we are going to try to keep things quiet." He rolled onto his back and tucked his hands behind his head.

"I don't think -"

"Jim, Chapel already has figured us out," I interrupted. "It won't take long for everyone else to as well, if we're always sneaking off at the same time." He sighed, and kept looking at the ceiling.

"What we're doing isn't fair to you," he said. "That's what I was trying to say."

"To me?" I sat up to look at him. He shifted his eyes toward me.

"To you." He nodded. "Bryn, I can't offer you any life but the one we have. Even if we were to fall in love. It's unfair to lead you to believe there will ever be anything more."

"You've never suggested there would be anything more though, Jim," I laughed. "I never thought past the moment. Don't go wrecking the team by looking to the future."

"You bring more than yourself to the table, Bryn. You have an intelligent, remarkable daughter. She deserves to see her mother in a real relationship," he countered.

"So are you breaking this off because I have a child?" I asked, more than a little surprised.

"Good god, no!" He exclaimed. "Katie's amazing, and we have the same sense of humour. I'm not sure if that says I'm immature or she's beyond her years, and I worry it's not that she's that advanced." He laughed a little.

"But you are breaking this off," I pressed.

"You don't love me, and I don't think I'm actually your type," he started. "And I will always choose the Enterprise over a woman. As enjoyable as whatever we've been doing has been, it isn't going anywhere. And we are going to be crewmates for five years at least. It seems to me that it would be wiser that we end this before we wind up enemies."

"I see."

"Bryn, there's no subtext to what I'm saying. There's no hidden secret," he urged. "But I've been thinking a lot about what you said. We don't talk. We don't socialize. We just sneak off. When I think about the next five years, I think about how the entire crew will need to work together. And we will cross paths far too frequently to keep this light and simple."

"And you're sure you don't have a hidden agenda?" I asked. He seemed to be talking around his point and it was frustrating me.

"How do you mean?"

"I just feel like you aren't telling me the truth of it," I pushed. He sighed and sat up at the edge of the bed. I sat up beside him. He placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed.

"The truth of it, Bryn, is that I don't think I can compete with Bones."

My jaw dropped, and I pulled away from him. "What?"

"I have enjoyed every moment of your company, but when I see you with Leonard, I know you will never love me. Because you already love him." His tone was so gentle, like he was dealing with a skittish animal. I guess he kind of was because I really felt the urge to bolt.

"As a friend," I protested.

"It's a good match," he continued. "Rather, it will be a good match. When the two of you get around to it." He patted my leg and pushed himself to his feet. I sat at the edge of the bed, my ears ringing and my head spinning. He stopped at my door and turned back. "He loves you, you know. I realized that when he risked his own career to get Katie aboard this ship."

"What?" I stood up and moved toward him. "What do you mean?"

"If it is ever discovered by headquarters that he falsified your records, he could be court-martialed."

"He said he just backdated -" I trailed off. "Oh my god."

Jim nodded and walked out of my quarters. And I realized he was right. It was the right time for things to end. And as for everything else he said, well. My ears were ringing and my head was spinning. So I laid down and took a nap.

XXX

Katie was explaining the finer points of holographic imaging to me over breakfast. She'd lost me early in the conversation, but I allowed her to believe I was following with appropriately placed responses between bites.

"Did you really save Uncle Bones' life?" She suddenly asked.

"No," I replied, clearing our plates away.

"He said you did," she countered. I shrugged.

"He was badly hurt. I repaired the damage. It's what doctors do, Katie-cat," I replied.

"Would he have died if you hadn't done what you did?" She asked.

"No, another doctor would have helped him." It was a simple reply, but it was true.

"Okay, Mama, if you had been alone, with no other doctors on the ship, and Uncle Bones showed up, in the shape he was in, would he have died if you hadn't treated him?" She arched an eyebrow.

"In that scenario, yes." I nodded.

"So you saved his life," she smiled. "Why is that so hard to admit?"

"It's not hard to admit, Katie. It's just not really accurate."

"Well, he said you saved his life," she offered. "And he's the CMO, so he's probably more right than you are."

"Anytime I am dazzled by your brilliance, Katie, I will remember this moment," I teased. "And it will remind me that despite your incredible brain, you are still sometimes confounded by kid-logic."

"So what are you going to do today while I'm at school?" She asked, changing the subject with a laugh.

"I honestly don't know, kiddo," I admitted with a shrug.

"Just tell him you aren't taking another day off," she suggested. I laughed. "I'm serious, Mama. Come with me."

I followed her to my bedroom closet, where she thrust my uniform dress at me. "Oh, sweetie, I can't wear this in medbay," I protested. She held it against my chest and glared at me, then turned and pulled my boots out of the closet and pressed them into my arms too.

"Trust me, Mama," she said, shoving me into the bathroom. I dressed quickly, and when I stepped out of the bathroom, she shoved me into a chair and started combing my hair out of the braid I kept it in.

"What are you doing?"

"Pleading your case for you before you even speak," she explained. "If you go into medbay, ready to work, in your comfortable shoes, and your hair tucked away, he's just going to say no and send you away. If you go in, obviously dressed with no intention of actually working, he'll wonder what you're up to, and let you stay."

"But then I'm stuck in medbay in this impractical uniform," I pointed out as she curled my hair.

"I'm sure you can find something to work on in that uniform. Minor treatments? Research?" She asked.

"You might be onto something," I agreed. Being in medbay with access to my PADD would allow me to monitor Leonard's condition under the guise of research. I cringed as I realized Jim's assessment of my feelings might not be that far off base.

Katie marched me down to medbay and into Leonard's office, just before Alpha started. He looked up and saw Katie first. "What are you doing down here, Katie? Shouldn't you be in class?" His brow furrowed.

"I walked Mama down." Katie pointed at me. "She seemed to think you didn't want her here." Bones looked over at me and raised an eyebrow.

"You're hardly dressed for work, darlin', but I suppose you're going to stay regardless of whether I say you can?" He asked. I stifled a grin and nodded. He flicked through some pages on his PADD. "You're signed back on duty."

"Thanks," I smiled. Katie squealed in delight and ran across the office, planting a kiss on Leonard's cheek. She stopped to hug me and smiled.

"Now, Mama, I'm staying late today to work on my hologram project, so maybe you could go spend some time with your friends tonight?" She suggested. I laughed out loud as she kissed my cheek.

"You had an ulterior motive all along!" It was sneaky of her, and I was proud of the way she'd thought through her problem. She kissed my cheek and headed off to class.

"What exactly do you plan to get up to today in that dress?" Leonard asked, once Katie was gone. I flicked through my patient charts on my PADD and nodded.

"Well, first things first, I see you've done no follow up since signing yourself out of my care." I pressed the button for his office door and it slid shut. "So we'll start with that. Shirt off, please."

"This is ridiculous," he complained, pulling his shirt over his head. I palpated the ribs and spleen for residual pain or inflammation, and he flinched when I touched him. My breath caught. "Your hands are like ice, kid."

"You're still having pain," I accused. He dropped his shirt on the desk and turned so his affected side was facing me. There was a large bruise wrapping up the side of his ribs from his back. I sighed. "Why didn't you deal with this yesterday?" I held the tricorder up to him. There was no bleeding, so the bruise had to be from residual pooled blood from the initial injury. I glared at him and stepped out into medbay to grab a bruise salve off the med cart. Chapel raised an eyebrow at me.

"What are you doing in there with the door closed?" She winked. I rolled my eyes.

"Treating an idiot," I retorted, opting to also take a hypo for pain back with me. I stepped back into Leonard's office. He was leaning against his desk, hands braced on the desktop. And he was glaring at me.

"An idiot?" He barked. "Really?"

"Oh shut it," I snapped. "You had a major internal injury, you signed yourself back on duty when you knew better, and then you did no follow up care for over twenty-four hours. In my books, that makes you an idiot." I put the hypo to his deltoid and injected the pain medication.

"Insubordination is a pretty serious charge, you know." He nearly growled it. I snorted.

"Can you turn so I can apply this salve to your bruise?" I asked. He complied, and I started slathering the goo across his skin.

"I'm not kidding, kid. Talking to me like that is insubordinate and -"

"And is it worse or better than tampering with someone's personnel file?" I interrupted. He stepped away from me and narrowed his eyes.

"About the same in terms of punishments." He glared at me.

"I don't know why you're so mad at me, Leonard," I sighed. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry. But you aren't going to glare at me and bark at me until I give up and run away. Someone needs to take care of you, if you won't."

The scowl dropped from his face and his shoulders slumped. "Can't a man lick his wounds in private?"

"Not if licking his wounds means ignoring pain and appropriate medical follow up, no," I retorted. I held his shirt up to him. "If you're having problems reaching because you're stiff, just ask. I'll come help you out."

"I was figuring on turning in early tonight." He pulled his shirt back on and shrugged.

"So?"

"Your daughter told you to go out tonight," he reminded.

"With my friends, I know. How is that going to impede me helping you with your salve?" I was genuinely confused.

"Well, won't you be out with Chapel and the other ladies? Or spending time with Jim?" He asked.

"Not if you need me, no," I replied. I would let Jim fill him in about us. "And if you're really thinking about turning in early, I can always meet up with Chris after I've tucked you in."

"Tucked me -" he protested. "I'm a grown man!"

"And a terrible patient," I pointed out. He laughed, and the bad mood was broken.

"The question remains, kid, what kind of doctoring do you think you can manage in that dress?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I've been reading up on alien anatomies to see where that gallbladder and kidney stone treatment might go. If the patient load is light, I can continue working on that. But really, I am capable of treating patients in this. I just find it awkward," I admitted.

"There's a lot of assessments and discharges that could happen today," he said. "And as you've pointed out, I haven't exactly managed my pain well."

"Then how about you manage medbay from your desk, and I will get to assessing crew and sending them back to work?" I suggested.

"I'll be out in a half hour," he agreed.

I consulted with Christine about the patients and was astonished by how many were still lingering in medbay. "Well, McCoy wasn't really himself yesterday. Half of these could have been discharged but he couldn't see through his pain."

"Why didn't you come get me?" I chastised her. She gave me a look that shut me up.

"Really? Do you think he would have listened to you yesterday?" She asked. I laughed.

"You're probably right." I started seeing patients, writing discharge orders, and shipping their charts to nursing so they could be sent on their way. It didn't take long before I'd discharged most of the crew in medbay, but there were a few with lingering concerns that I kept until Leonard emerged from his office, significantly more than a half hour later.

"Hey." I looked him over. "You okay?"

"Would you believe I fell asleep?" He gave me a cockeyed smile and shook his head.

"I want to run more labs on you," I insisted.

"I'm fine," he assured me. I took a deep breath and steered him back toward his office.

"What if I missed something? What if you're bleeding out?" I asked. "Let me check, please."

"Bryn." He placed a hand on either shoulder and squared me, facing him. "You didn't miss anything. But remember your anatomy, kid. The spleen's kind of a big deal in the hematology arena. I'll probably be peaky for a while yet."

"If it's not a big deal, let me run the labs to reassure myself," I argued. He paused for a moment and let out a huff of breath. Not enough to be a sigh, but enough to know I'd won.

"Alright," he agreed. I darted back to the equipment cart and got the lab kit. He had his sleeve rolled up enough to expose his forearm for my lab draw, and I made quick work of it, lest he change his mind again. I waited as the values were uploaded to my PADD. He was right, and was fine. I mean, his complete blood count was a little low, but he didn't need any further intervention. He looked smug when he read the numbers.

"I want another panel in a week, Bones," I demanded. He nodded.

"That's prudent follow-up," he agreed. "I won't argue it."

"Good," I said, suddenly feeling awkwardly aware of everyone in medbay staring at us. "I will talk to you at shift end about the arrangements we need to make for your bruise salve."


	17. Chapter 17

I stood, waiting, outside Bones' room. Christine had been unavailable to hang out with, and Uhura had plans with Spock. I didn't really know anyone else well enough to impose on their off time. So I was waiting outside Bones' room for him to answer because my only plans for my child-free evening were rubbing bruise ointment on his back.

The door finally opened, and Jim stepped out. I dodged out of his way before he walked into me.

"Hey," he smiled. "I didn't think I'd bump into you so soon."

"Yeah, I'm actually here for Leonard. On account of it being his room." It felt awkward and forced. Jim was right, eventually we were going to be friends. But at the moment, it felt stiff and uncoordinated to try to have light, meaningless discourse with him.

"Oh, of course." He stepped aside, obviously feeling similarly uncomfortable. "I'll confirm the details with you by tomorrow's Beta shift, Bones."

"Thank you, Jim." Leonard raised an eyebrow at me. I held up the salve and stepped into his room. "That was forced."

"Maybe a little," I admitted.

"Did you have stronger feelings than he realized?" Leonard demanded. "Because if he's hurt you, so help me. I don't care if he is my best friend, I'll whip his -"

"No, no, the split was amicable. His read of the situation was right on point," I interrupted, smiling. "It's just a little weird. It'll pass." He narrowed his eyes and I could tell he was trying to figure out if I was lying. I met his gaze, and he nodded.

"Alright. I suppose you'd like to get on with your evening." He started pulling his shirt over his head. Jim's words echoed in my head and I pressed my lips together to stop myself from the torrent of questions I wanted to ask him.

"I'm in no rush," I admitted, looking at my feet, waiting for him to turn his back to me. I looked up and he was staring at me.

"Why not?"

"Chris was busy. Nyota had plans. I'm not in any hurry to head back to my quarters and sit around waiting on Katie." I forced myself to maintain eye contact. I'd hard a hard time not admiring Leonard's physique before everything shook down with Jim. Now I had to fight to look away lest I do something completely stupid. He looked like he was going to say something, and then stopped himself, instead presenting his back to me. The bruise was already significantly improved, but he still flinched when I touched his skin.

"Do you have something against warming up your hands before you touch a body, kid?" he complained.

"Are my hands cold, or are you feeling pain?" I countered. "Because they feel pretty warm to me."

He reached for my free hand and wrapped his hands around it. His were warmer, but not by much. He scowled and placed my hand on his forearm. Again, there wasn't much in the way of difference in temperature. "Maybe it's pain. It doesn't feel that cold now."

"Mmhmm," I murmured, concentrating on rubbing the salve into his skin. "I didn't bring anything for pain with me. I can run back to medbay -"

His hand covered mine, still on his arm. "I don't need anything for pain, Bryn."

"But if you're -"

"I don't need anything for pain, Bryn," he repeated. "But since you don't have any other plans, maybe you could stick around and distract me."

"I'm terrible at chess," I offered. He let out a short bark of laughter, and then braced his side. "Bones, you're in a lot more pain than you're willing to admit. I think I should get something for you."

"Just distract me," he asked. "Not with chess. I can't stand the game."

"Yeah, you kind of look more like a poker guy," I laughed, recapping the salve, and stepping back to hand him his shirt. He pulled the undershirt on, and stepped over to his shelving unit.

"I have a deck of cards and some chips somewhere," he commented, moving some things on the top shelf. I fussed with the replicator and got us something to drink while he sat and shuffled the cards. "You can play poker, can't you?"

"You think I got through med school at the Academy without knowing?"

"Couldn't tell you, I didn't go to med school at the Academy. Just officer training," he countered.

"Oh, I didn't realise!" I exclaimed. "Yeah, Kara and I were the reigning champs of study poker."

"Study poker?"

"Yeah, kind of like strip poker, but when you won, the loser didn't lose clothing, they had to answer revision questions," I laughed.

"I think I'd prefer strip poker," he chuckled.

"Yeah, but you seem to really enjoy running around topless," I countered.

"There's no guarantee if we played strip poker that I'd be the one topless." There was a challenge there that I knew better than to accept.

"Oh, I'm very good at poker," I promised. "And you're unwell. You can lose at strip poker when you're back in peak physical condition. It'll be more enjoyable for me." I winked. He looked so offended that I had to bite my lip to not laugh.

"Oh, you're on, kid," he growled. "We'll see who winds up losing."

"When you're healthy, Bones," I reminded him. The cards snapped as he dealt them, and I couldn't hide my amusement. "Do you want to see if you can win at study poker tonight?"

"No, I think higher stakes than that," he countered. "Next shore leave, drinks on the loser."

"That seems fair," I agreed.

"I drink very expensive scotch." He raised an eyebrow. "So save your creds up."

I looked at my cards and cringed inwardly. It was going to take a great deal of bluffing to win this hand. I put my bet in, and traded out two cards. My hand improved, marginally. Bones traded out a single card. I checked. He raised the bet. I assessed my hand and called. He dropped his cards. He had a straight. I had two pair. He swept the chips to his side, and handed me the deck. The game continued, and I watched as my chips slowly moved over to his side of the table. He was handing my ass to me. He won the final hand and the grin he gave me was part triumphant and part mercenary.

"Top shelf scotch, kid." He winked. I nodded.

"I let you win." I winked back and tidied the chips. Before standing to retrieve the box for them, I stopped beside him. "I like expensive scotch too, but it's more enjoyable to drink with a friend. You need to get some rest." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. His arms snaked around my hips and he laid his head against my tummy.

"I haven't thanked you." His voice was so quiet I could barely hear it.

"For letting you win at poker?" I laughed. He stood up beside me and pulled me back into his arms.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about," he chided. I sighed and pulled out of his arms reluctantly.

"Well, what would we do without you, Bones? You kinda forced my hand." I headed toward the door. "I'll see you in the morning."

XXX

"Science Fair!" Katie woke me with a shake. I was dozing on the couch after my shift and was completely disoriented.

"What?" I asked.

"Mr. Yim is taking us to a science fair!" She exclaimed.

"Why?" I still wasn't quite awake.

"Our holographic projection program! If we can work out some of the issues with it, he said he'll take us to the science fair on Starbase 12 when the crew is on shore leave!" She was shaking with excitement. I rubbed my eyes and processed what she said.

"Shore leave? I don't think there's shore leave scheduled for a while." I had to wonder how many months in the future this shore leave was supposed to be.

"It's super soon, he said. As soon as we get to Starbase 12 for reprovisioning, Jim has authorized crew-wide leave, and I am going to a science fair!" She started going a happy dance. There were worse things for her to be that excited about. I wondered where exactly my brain had been that I hadn't realized we were nearing Starbase 12, but I suspected I was suffering from selective hearing. I had been pulled in so many directions since the incident with the rock aliens that I wasn't even sure which way was up. Bones had returned me to three times a week zero-grav drills, and Katie was struggling with her history class because she was focussing all her energy on science. I'd been spending most of the evenings she wasn't working on the holographic imaging program tutoring her. And on those nights that she was tied up with the pursuit of science, Bones and I had expanded our poker game to include Scotty, Jim, Uhura and somewhat surprisingly, Spock. I felt like I was finally properly integrated into the crew.

"So are you back to school for extra tonight?" I asked, pulling the pins and elastic out of my hair, and combing my fingers through it.

"I am. We might try a larger scale projection next week, so we need to work on debugging it more." She nodded. I replicated dinner for Katie and I, and when she finished inhaling her meal, she kissed me on the cheek and headed back to the education centre. I checked my appearance in the mirror, and after determining that I looked presentable, I commed Christine to see if she was interested in meeting me in the cantina, heading there before she responded.

Tarin waved from her table when she saw me, and I joined her. It had been ages since we'd sat down and visited, and I was looking forward to catching up. Christine joined us a few minutes later.

"It's like the stars finally aligned so we could catch up!" Tarin laughed. "I haven't seen either of you in too long."

"Katie has been ignoring her history in order to focus on science," I explained. "And while science is what will get her into the Academy early, she needs all her marks to be obscenely high."

"So what you're saying is that she has ninety-nine percent in history, instead of one hundred?" Christine laughed. I joined in.

"It's funny because it's true." I nodded. Tarin grinned.

"My sister entered the academy at 14. I remember my parents worrying about how single-minded she was as well," she offered. "I don't think ninety-nine will keep her out."

"The worst of it is that I don't know if I want her to go so young," I admitted. "I only just got her back full-time. To only get three years with her?"

"But once she finished, she can always request assignment with you until she's an adult," Christine suggested.

"Which only gives me two more years," I sighed. "I'm borrowing worries, I know. It's far too soon to be losing sleep over this."

"Particularly when you have someone else helping you lose sleep," Christine winked. I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"But I don't."

"I thought you and -"

"Oh no, that ended almost as quickly as it started," I laughed. "Far too much cloak and dagger, I think, in the end." I wasn't about to share that Jim had pinpointed my less-than-platonic feelings for Bones before I had. Or that I had less-than-platonic feelings in the first place.

"Wait, are we talking about you and McCoy, or something else?" Tarin asked. My jaw dropped and Christine burst out laughing.

"Bones is my best friend. There's nothing going on there," I denied. Christine laughed again.

"To use our beloved CMO's own favourite phrase, horse shit," she chuckled. "If my best friend and I were constantly in one another's laps like you two are, we'd be assigned shared quarters."

"Christine, there is nothing happening between Doctor McCoy and I." I kept my voice calm and steady. "He's been my advocate and my ally, and he is my best friend shipboard." Christine arched her eyebrow in disbelief, but let it go.

"Do either of you have exciting plans for shore leave?" Tarin carefully changed the subject. I lifted my hands in disbelief.

"Am I the only person who hasn't been paying attention?" I asked. Christine shook her head.

"Nope, this is the first I've heard of it too," she replied. "What shore leave?"

"We'll be at Starbase 12 in about three days. Captain Kirk has authorized ship-wide leave," she explained. "You seriously didn't know?"

"I'll ask Bones about it tomorrow morning." I looked at Christine. "I hope that doesn't mean he's planning education leave for us or something."

"12 has a pretty basic hospital and medical centre. I can't think there would be much for us to learn. And he would never consider drilling us off the ship," Christine said. My comm chirped, alerting me that Katie was headed back to quarters.

"Sorry to cut the evening short, that was Katie," I excused myself. I wondered about the shore leave as I headed back to my quarters. I couldn't think of a reasonable excuse for why Bones wouldn't let medical personnel know about it, but I assumed there would be a reason.

Katie wasn't in when I got back. I'd asked her to comm me before she came home so I could be back in time, but the education centre was closer than the cantina, and she nearly always beat me. I looked down at my communicator and checked the message. It wasn't a message from Katie, it was from Bones. I turned around and headed out to his quarters.

"Okay, you've summoned me away from drinks with Chris and Tarin. What's up?" I asked as I entered his quarters. He was sitting on his couch, poring over his PADD.

"This curriculum is ridiculous. Why is it so important for kids to know about history? Shouldn't Katie be learning about other cultures? Earth history can be summed up in a few words. And then we blew shit up again." He put air quotes around the last sentence.

"What are you talking about?"

"I've been trying to help Katie with her history homework, but I don't understand why it's so goddamn important that she know about," he paused and scanned his PADD "nuclear proliferation in the twentieth century."

"It's all related to the Cold War and the space race," I replied.

"Well aren't you a happy little ray of history," he retorted, finally looking away from his PADD. I smiled and sat down beside him. "Your hair looks pretty when it's down."

"Uh, Thanks? When did you start helping her?" I asked.

"Ages ago. Her mark dropped to a ninety-six and she was scared to tell you. She thinks you'll be upset if she doesn't get early admission to the Academy. I told her you'd probably prefer she didn't go early, but she's convinced you'll be heartbroken if she doesn't," he explained. I sighed.

"I don't think I want her to go early. But I want her to have the opportunity to, if that's what she wants," I admitted. "Does that make sense?"

"Of course it does. But you should tell her that," he advised. I nodded.

"Speaking of telling, when were you going to let us know about shore leave?" I asked. He stared at me blankly.

"I sent that memo last week, as soon as Jim authorized it. It should be on everyone's PADDs."

I pulled my PADD and showed him all my messages. Nothing about shore leave was there. He looked at my PADD, and then opened his own messaging. "Oh for -" He growled. "I left it in drafts. I think I was waiting on Jim to confirm dates." A few taps later, and my PADD alerted me of the message waiting.

"So right now you owe me drinks," I prompted. He raised an eyebrow.

"In a pig's eye, kid," he retorted. I laughed.

"I'm not going to fight with you about it. Fair and square. I'm ahead right now in the official greatest poker challenge ever," I flipped through my PADD until I found the tracking page I'd set up, and handed it to him.

"Well, I'll be damned. I'll have to try a little harder tomorrow," he laughed.

"I'll make you a deal," I offered. "If you'll come with me to check out Katie's science fair while we're on leave, I'll buy."

"Done," he said, too quickly.

"That was too easy." I narrowed my eyes. He grinned.

"She'd already invited me."

"You're an asshole, Bones," I laughed, bumping him with my shoulder.

"She's a good girl," he commented, more seriously.

"Yeah, I think my parents did right by me," I agreed. "She's smart, she's kind -"

"She loves her mama, she wants to make you proud," he agreed. "I hope my Joey is growing up the same, although I somehow doubt it."

"Joey?" I asked. He must have meant the girl in the holo.

"My daughter. She's a little less than a year older than Katie," he offered, as though he wasn't dropping a huge secret in my lap.

"You've never mentioned her," I pressed. He looked sad. Wistful.

"It was an ugly divorce, and her mother got custody." It was a short answer, but I could hear the pain in his voice. I squeezed his hand.

"I'm sorry." I wasn't sure what else to say. He laced his fingers in mine and squeezed back.

"She writes the greatest letters. Jocelyn tried to prevent me from contacting her, but the court said being off planet was hardship enough. Joanna sends me a letter once a month. Says she's too old for me to keep calling her Joey, but she'll always be a little girl with pigtails and a lisp in my mind," he laughed. "I got to see her when we were back on Earth. She's not a little girl with pigtails and a lisp anymore."

"You're a good man, Leonard." I squeezed his hand again, and leaned against his shoulder.

"Joc would probably argue that point," he laughed.

"Let me at her." I wasn't joking. He slipped his arm around my shoulder.

"Well," he paused. "I was a different man then."

"No," I argued. "You weren't. Men like you are born, not made."

"Thank you for your vote of confidence, kid," he laughed. "But I assure you, I was a fuck up and that ended my marriage."

"Well, whatever you are, you owe me drinks when we get to Starbase 12," I teased.

"We just agreed that you were buying!" He protested. "Check in with Katie, and see how much later she's going to be." I raised an eyebrow in question, but complied. Her response was immediate. She was busy, I was to stop interrupting her, and Mr. Yim was a god among men.

"Apparently I have at least an hour." I shrugged. Leonard grabbed the poker chips and the deck of cards and raised his eyebrow in challenge.

"Double or nothing," he dared. I narrowed my eyes and bit my lip.

"I don't know, Bones," I hesitated. "I mean, it's not much of a wager. A second glass of scotch? Doesn't really seem worth the risk."

"Chicken?" He tried to provoke me. He tilted his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

"Oh, you are on." I rose to the bait. I took an early lead in the game, raking his chips across the table to my pile. A few hands in, I was certain I was going to clean him out. He had significantly fewer chips than I did, and had drawn three cards. I had a solid hand, a full house with three aces and a pair of kings. I knew I could clean him out, and went all in, sure he would follow suit. I showed my hand and his eyes widened.

"That's a good hand," he admitted, as he dropped his hand on the table. "But my four of a kind beats it."

"Twos? You beat me with twos?" I threw my hands up in defeat and glared at him. He smirked winking as he swept the chips across the table. I gathered the cards and put them away, still shaking my head and muttering under my breath. He followed me to the shelving unit and put the chips down beside the cards and laughed.

"Come on, don't be that way," he cajoled. I scowled at him. "That was a pretty historic loss, as poker losses go. You don't see that often."

"Rub it in why don't you?" He took my chin in his hand and tilted my head up, forcing me to look at him. I smiled despite myself.

"There's my girl," he teased. "Sunny disposition and all." I cocked an eyebrow and rolled my eyes.

"I should punch you in the spleen," I grumbled. He stepped a little closer and slipped his free arm around my waist, pinning my arm at my side.

"Come on now, the bruise is only just gone," he laughed, and I became acutely aware of how close he was. My breath caught. I extricated myself from his arms and stepped toward the door.

"I should go." I bit my lip. He looked hurt, almost.

"I thought you weren't in a hurry?" He asked. "Katie hasn't commed." He took a few steps toward me, and I had to force myself to not retreat. He pushed a stray curl off my face and looked at me in wonder. I had to force myself to breathe. His hand cupped my cheek, and without realizing what I was doing, I closed my eyes and leaned into it. Then, while my eyes were still closed, I felt his lips brush against mine, soft, without any force. I pulled away, dragging in a deep breath. He stepped away.

"I -"

"Oh, shit, Bryn," he breathed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have -"

"No, don't." I placed my fingers against his mouth. "Don't apologize." I stepped back against him, eliminating the space between us. My arm snaked around his neck, pulling him down to me. Our lips met, and the tight anticipation in my chest exploded as he gathered me into his arms. And then my comm chirped, forcing us apart. I looked down at the message, knowing it would be Katie.

"I have to go." I didn't want to go. He nodded, mute, his face flushed. "I will see you in the morning." He nodded again. I walked toward the door, and turned back before pushing the button to open it. He crossed the room in three steps and pushed me into the wall, his mouth hard against mine. His hands tangled in the hair at the nape of my neck and his teeth tugged on my bottom lip. I slid my tongue against his teeth and he deepened the kiss, leaving me breathless. He pulled away, his mouth turning up at the corner just slightly.

"You have to go," he breathed. "Katie." It sounded like he was reminding himself more than me.


	18. Chapter 18

"Mama, come on!" Katie complained. She was packed and ready to head off on her grand adventure with to the Starbase 12 science fair, and I, like a mother, was fretting and fussing over her.

"Just promise me you'll remember to shower and comb your hair on presentation morning," I demanded.

"Oh my god, Mother," she sighed heavily. "So embarrassing. I will wash my stinky parts. I will scrub my hair. I will make sure it's neat and tidy for the presentation. But you will be there, right?"

"Yes, I will be there," I promised.

"And Uncle Bones?" She asked. I swallowed. Other than talking about work, we hadn't talked about anything since the night we'd kissed. I wasn't sure what was happening for him on shore leave.

"If he said he would be there, you know he will be there," I assured her, following her toward the door.

"You aren't coming with me," she stopped me at the door. "I've been getting to the education centre without you since my first day, I don't need you to hold my hand now."

"Katie," I warned her. "I'm allowed to be nervous, pumpkin. It's the first time I've let you go with anyone other than Nanny and Pops."

"Mama, just promise me that whatever happened with Uncle Bones you'll make it right before my presentation," she said. "I want you both there."

"Sure, you're a big girl when you want to meet your classmates, but not so much when it comes to presentation time," I teased. "Give me hugs and kisses and get going." She wrapped her arms around me and kissed my cheek.

"I love you, Mama," she said. "Make things right with Uncle Bones."

"I love you too." I kissed her cheek, avoiding the comment about Leonard.

"Promise," she demanded. I sighed.

"There's nothing wrong, Katie-cat," I replied. "But I'll make sure he's coming."

"Good. Because I asked him to come say goodbye today and he should be here any minute." She winked and dashed out the door and down the hall. I stood there at the open door, trying to process the sneaky plot Katie had planned. I was still staring down the hall, unseeing, when Leonard arrived from the other direction.

"Hey." He startled me out of my contemplation and I turned to face him. "Katie said she needed me to give her a good luck hug."

"She just left." It was the first thing that popped into my head, and it sounded an awful lot like a dismissal. He nodded.

"Yeah, I thought I was on time, but the turbolift needed to stop on every floor," he sighed. "She was really nervous." I laughed. I couldn't win for losing at this point.

"She really wasn't, you know," I admitted, gesturing inside my quarters. He raised an eyebrow and followed me. "She wanted us to talk."

"She did, did she?" He laughed. "Because we don't see each other all shift long? And we couldn't possibly be speaking then?"

"She thinks something is wrong, and she made me promise to make it right before her presentation," I started. "Have a seat."

"Why do I feel like this conversation needs a lot of scotch?" He forced a laugh as he sat on the couch.

"I feel very much the same," I laughed, sitting beside on the coffee table in front of him. "But she's not wrong. We've both been weird. Since -"

"I was out of line and -"

"I was not saying no," I interrupted, feeling sick. "So don't -"

He flushed and looked at his feet. "I don't regret kissing you."

"Then why are we being so ridiculous about this?" I threw up my hands. I sighed and took in what his body was saying. His shoulders were slumped, like he'd given up. He looked tired, like he hadn't been sleeping. And even though he was smiling, the usual amused glint in his eye was missing.

He leaned forward and took my hand. "Bryn, I don't regret kissing you. I want to kiss you again. We just need to figure out what this is."

"Leonard, you are my closest friend on this ship. And very close to being my closest friend at all," I started. "I understand the need to make sure we don't fuck this up. I have a fundamental understanding of this. On a fucking molecular level."

He laughed and nodded. "That's what I'm getting at."

"Not talking to each other is not a good start." I pointed out. "Is it because there is residual weirdness because of Jim?"

"Good god, kid, no!" He exclaimed. "I don't mean this to offend you, darlin', but if every woman Jim had touched was suddenly a no-fly zone, there wouldn't be many women left in this galaxy."

"You're sure?" I pressed. He laughed, and the twinkle came back into his eyes.

"Yeah." He nodded. "And you want to know why? Because I'm not just looking for a roll in the hay. If that were the case, you better damn believe there would be residual weirdness. That's not how I feel. I hope it's not how you feel." It sounded suspiciously like he'd said he liked me.

"Your southern charm is showing," I grinned. "Maybe I do want to roll in the hay."

"I didn't say that was off the table, I said that's not all I want from you. This hasn't been easy for me, kid." He sighed and squeezed my hand. "I've never been around a woman who's made me feel so comfortable that I forget who I am. And first you were my best friend's girl -"

I made a noise of protest and he dropped my hand and held his up to stop me.

"You were my best friend's girl. And you are my subordinate. And here I am, kissing your forehead, wrapping my arms around you. Generally behaving like a lovesick fool." His brow furrowed and he shook his head. "I was beginning to think I was going to need to find another crew."

"And I was drinking up every moment." I shrugged and rose. I poured us both a finger of scotch and sat down beside him on the couch. His arm immediately went around me, and I leaned against him. He took a sip and laughed.

"Jim figures we should skip the courtship and go straight to the altar," he informed me. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah, he pointed out that maybe we were having some feelings that didn't include him to me too," I admitted.

"I don't want to skip any part of this." There was resolve in his tone. "I don't want to warp past any major relationship milestones. I feel like myself with you, and I want to enjoy that."

"I'd like that," I admitted. He kissed my temple and jumped to his feet.

"Well then, Doctor Erikssen." He winked and pulled me to my feet. He took one hand in his, and brushed his lips across my knuckles, just like Jim had when we'd first met. "It is my genuine pleasure to meet such a lovely and accomplished woman as yourself. My name is Leonard McCoy."

I grinned and felt the completely unnecessary need to curtsey. "You can call me Bryn, Mr. McCoy."

"Oh, but I'm a doctor too," he protested.

"Well then, Doctor McCoy. You can call me Bryn. Professional courtesy." I winked.

"Then I insist you call me Leonard." He had the smooth southern gentleman down to an art, and despite the time between us, I still felt myself blushing. "Might I persuade you to walk out with me?"

"Wherever did you have in mind, Leonard?" He slipped my hand into the crook of his elbow and led me to the door of my quarters.

"I hear the weather is lovely on Starbase 12 right now," he offered. I laughed and allowed him to lead me to the turbolift. "All joking aside, kid, we'd already been booked into shared housing again. I can get it changed though if that seems weird or too fast or -"

"You will not!" I protested. "I happen to really enjoy your aversion to shirts when you're off-duty."

He laughed and shook his head. "How quiet are you wanting to keep this?"

"We both know there is no such thing as a secret on this ship," I pointed out. "So why hide it?"

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "I like your style, kid."

XXX

When we'd been on Proxima B, we'd spent most of our time in our uniforms. And I'd forgotten how incredibly good Leonard looked in street clothes. We'd checked into our quarters, and had a few hours before we needed to check in at the science fair. We'd squabbled a little over who got the first shower, and once I'd managed to elbow check him out of my way and lock him out of the bathroom, I was kind of disappointed that I had. The shower was massive. There was absolutely room for two in it. But we were still testing the waters, and a shared shower might be too much too soon. Leonard must have agreed because it would have been easy enough to override the lock and join me.

I walked out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, wringing the excess water out of my hair. Leonard was fiddling with the coffee maker with his back to me.

"This goddamn coffee maker is more complicated than a replicator. I don't know if -" he complained, turning as he spoke. "You seem to have misplaced your clothes, kid."

"Shower's yours," I smiled.

He stepped over to me, stopping just a few inches away from me. He leaned down, without touching me, to whisper in my ear. "If you're trying to seduce me, it won't work."

I rolled my eyes. "We both know that's bullshit."

He laughed, dropped a kiss on my forehead and brushed past me. "When a hot shower is on the line? I can ravish you later." I heard the water start running, and he leaned out of the bathroom with his shirt off. "I think we should take Katie for pizza tonight."

"I'll comm Jung and make sure that will be okay," I replied. I felt my eyes fill with tears, and immediately felt stupid. But that Leonard wanted to spend time with my daughter as well as me on our leave time felt important. I sent the message to Mr. Yim and then went to get dressed. I was sitting on the couch with my coffee when Leonard came out of the bathroom. Fully clothed, much to my disappointment. He flopped down beside me, and immediately draped his arm around my shoulder.

We sat there wordlessly for a few minutes, before both turning to speak at the same time.

"Did you want -"

"We should really -" I stopped and waited for him to finish his thought.

"I want to show you something," he laughed. "Come on." He took my hand and led me through the maze of halls that was the starbase, until we reached an observation deck. He pulled me into the large room, and walked me right up to the windows looking out into the inky darkness. To the right, in the distance, I could see the Enterprise, tiny against the massive starbase, docked for reprovisioning.

"I didn't realize it was this big," I commented. He laughed.

"That's not what I wanted you to see. Step right to the edge of the window, so your toes touch," he said. "This obs deck is at the widest part of the base, there's nothing above you, or below you. So if you just look out into space, it kind of feels like you're standing right in the middle of it."

I leaned forward, placing my hands against the window. He was right. It was like I was standing in space. Stars I'd never seen before peppered the sky, and in the distance, shuttles disappeared into the darkness, and appeared out of the darkness as they moved between ships destined for the base and the base itself. It was overwhelming and beautiful. I reached for Leonard's hand without looking at him, and squeezed. "This is incredible," I breathed.

He said nothing in response, just letting me drink in the experience. When I finally looked away from the window, I saw he had his back against it, and had his eyes closed. And I remembered what Scotty had said about Leonard's phobias about space. My heart tightened. He'd brought me somewhere he knew he wouldn't enjoy because he thought I might like it. I leaned over and kissed him, startling him.

"Scotty'd said you weren't a big fan of the black," I murmured against his mouth. "Thank you."

"Well, you seem to think it's impressive," he shrugged, putting his hand at the small of my back to hold me against him. "And I suppose if I have to die in a horrible way, space is probably the most romantic way to go."

I laughed and shook my head. "You big chicken! And you give me a hard time about zero-grav drills!"

"You know there's better things to do with that mouth than mock your superior officer," he commented, brushing his lips against mine.

"Very true. But I think we have a science fair to go to right now," I countered, breaking the kiss. He sighed.

"That we do. I wouldn't want to disappoint Katie."

"I hope you know how to get there?" I asked. He laughed and pushed off from the window behind him.

"That I do." He led me through another maze of halls, down a turbolift and through some more halls until we made it to the starbase education centre. Katie saw us before we could find her in the throngs of children.

"Mama! Uncle Bones!" She ran up to us and threw her arms around my waist. "Everyone thinks our project is really cool!"

"When is your presentation?" I asked. She was practically vibrating with excitement.

"Tomorrow morning. Will you come for that too?" She asked.

"I think we could probably make that happen, sweetheart," Leonard replied. Katie stepped back and noticed Leonard and I were holding hands. She looked at them, fingers interlaced, raised and eyebrow and looked up at me.

"I know I told you to make things right, Mama, but -"

"This had very little to do with you, and everything to do with your Mama and me figuring out something we should have seen before," Leonard interrupted.

"Yeah, you understand I will be taking credit for this until I die, right?" She countered. I laughed.

"Mr. Yim has said we can take you for pizza tonight, as long as we bring you back in time for curfew. Show us your project, and show us at least two other projects that you think are interesting, and then we'll go get dinner," I offered. "And maybe we can also torture Bones with some bowling."

Leonard groaned. "How did you even know there was a bowling alley? You can't find your way around this place!"

"I looked on the map," I laughed. "It's not that far from the pizza."

Katie led us around to show us most of the projects, and was excited about every single one of them. She dazzled me with the insights she had into each project, noting small details I didn't think she'd had enough time to actually think about. I certainly wouldn't have had enough time to consider them. Then she brought us over to the project she and the Enterprise kids had been working on and she became more animated, and excited. She started reciting mathematical equations that had both Bones and I looked at one another in confusion.

And then she asked Mr. Yim if she could turn it on. With his permission, she ushered us into what the kids were calling the holo-chamber and faced a small keyboard. The holo-chamber was really just a square frame with black fabric walls. The fabric had some sort of optic matrix woven into it. There was room for the three of us comfortably, but adding any more people might have made it a little claustrophobic.

"Okay, Mama. If you could show Uncle Bones anything from home, what would it be?" She asked.

"Oh, that's easy. Reykjadalur," I answered. Katie smiled.

"That's what I thought you'd say, so it's where I programmed." She typed in a string of commands, and the walls of the chamber glittered, and then the matrix changed into a three dimensional image of the river hot springs near Reykjavik. I made a surprised noise and stared at my girl in astonishment.

"You did this?" I asked. It was amazing. It was a little wavery, but I assumed that was the fabric walls of the matrix moving in the circulating air of the room. Other than that, the image was so realistic it was like we'd been transported there.

"Katie, this is amazing," Leonard praised her. She preened a little under his attention, and I realized she'd become closer to him than I'd expected.

"Well, all I did was program it. Nature made it that spectacular. Someday, Mama will take you there," she laughed. She shut the program down, and the walls became plain again before she escorted us back out. I stopped to talk to Mr. Yim while Katie regaled Leonard with the details on how they'd come to chose all their programming examples, and then detailed the other program options the other children had coded. I overheard one of the judges introduce herself to Katie, and Katie walked her through the same information she'd just given us before approaching Mr. Yim again.

I stepped back to Leonard while Katie clarified something with Jung, and the judge turned to us.

"I'm Miranda Kerry, I'm the chief science officer on the starbase. It's so nice to have the Enterprise students join us for this fair," she offered.

"I'm Doctor Bryn Erikssen, and this is Doctor Leonard McCoy," I volunteered, shaking her hand when she held it out to me.

"Of course! You must be so proud of your daughter," she offered.

"I think it's incredible what she's accomplished since we've been assigned to the Enterprise." I nodded.

"Unsurprising that she's so clever," she laughed. "Both parents in science blues."

"Oh, uh -" I started to correct her. Bones put his arm around my shoulder and laughed.

"We're very proud of everything she's accomplished," he agreed. I slipped my arm around his waist and squeezed. Katie stepped back to us and waited as Miranda told us more about the science fair and the starbase.

"I can see by Katie's attempt to wait patiently that you must have plans," she offered. "It was lovely to meet you both."

"Thank you for sharing your knowledge of the starbase with us," Leonard smiled, lifting his arm from my shoulder to shake her hand again. Katie took the opportunity to grab my hand, and I was reminded that despite how intelligent and well-spoken she was, she was still a little girl.


	19. Chapter 19

Katie proved to us that her childhood had not been bereft of fun by completely destroying us at bowling. Every time she got a strike, there was a dance and some good-natured gloating. Paradoxically, Leonard proved he'd been an old curmudgeon by guttering almost every ball.

"It's a damn good thing that you're so good at poker, Bones," I laughed as I turned back from knocking down most of my pins. He grimaced.

"There's a reason I said it was a bad idea when we were on Proxima B," he complained. "I could lose money to an infant playing this."

"Don't worry, Uncle Bones," Katie reassured him. "We've only got a few more frames left, and then you can go back to your room and lick your wounds."

I couldn't help myself. I laughed. Leonard scowled at me and took his turn. I saw him take a different stance and he slowed down, like he was intent and focussed. The ball still went in the gutter. Katie cackled. I bit my lip trying not to laugh. He wagged a finger at me.

"Did you know there's a zero-grav amusement park on this starbase? Wouldn't that be fun?" He raised an eyebrow in challenge. Katie squealed in excitement.

"Are you serious? That would be amazing!" She looked between Bones and I for an answer.

"He's lying." I called his bluff.

"Your mother doesn't like floating," he told her. Katie laughed. "Besides, sweetheart, it's just about your curfew."

"Can we go tomorrow then?" She asked, throwing the ball down the lane without paying attention. And getting another strike. Leonard made a disgusted noise and threw up his hands in defeat.

"There isn't a zero-grav amusement park, Katie-cat," I laughed. "But nice try, Bones."

"Besides, tomorrow is your presentation," Leonard pointed out. "Can't miss that."

It was close enough to curfew that Leonard decided to wrap the game up quickly by just throwing balls down the alley until all the frames were finished. Katie still won, although he did finally manage to get a strike. Katie was all laughter and jokes at his expense on the walk back to the quarters the kids were sharing. She stopped at the door and threw herself into my arms.

"Thank you for coming to see the project tonight, Mama." She bounced from my arms into Leonard's. Surprised, he threw his arms up, looking at me. I shrugged, and felt my chest tighten as his arms settled around her. "Thank you," she breathed. "I love you, Uncle Bones."

Leonard let out a sigh, and his shoulders slumped. His arms tightened around Katie, and he pressed his lips to the top of her head. "You need to get some sleep, sweetheart."

"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" She asked as turned back to her door. I wasn't sure which of us she was talking to.

"Yes," we said in unison. Leonard winked at me, and took my hand. Once we'd stopped at the turbolift, I turned to look at him. His eyes were still a little misty from Katie's impulsive pronouncement.

"You okay?"

"I think Joey would love Katie. They have the same silly sense of humour." His smile was sad, and it broke my heart. I squeezed his hand and leaned against him. The turbolift opened and Jim stepped out, talking with Scotty. He saw us standing together, holding hands and smirked.

"Well, of all the turbolifts in the starbase, look what we've bumped into, Scotty," he laughed. I fought the urge to drop Leonard's hand, but couldn't stop myself from flushing. A quick glance at Leonard showed he wasn't the least bit embarrassed, which made me feel less concerned.

"You should join us for drinks," Scotty suggested.

"We've got an early morning tomorrow," Leonard excused. "Katie's holographic simulation project is amazing, and she and the other kids are presenting on it early in the morning."

"Oh?" Jim asked. "I'd love to see that too. When is it?"

"Oh-eight-hundred, Jim," I answered, pulling Leonard onto the turbolift. Scotty looked back at us as the door slid shut.

"Are they holding hands?" I heard him exclaim. "Is that a doctoring thing?"

I looked at Leonard. "Are you sure you don't care about gossip?" He turned to face me, and leaned forward to kiss me. Something inside me snapped, and my arms came up around his neck, and I dragged him against me, losing my balance and crashing into the turbolift wall. He laughed against my mouth, and braced his hand above my head, returning my enthusiasm with his own fevered response. His free hand came up under my ribs and held me against the wall. I broke away, breathless.

"We really shouldn't be doing this in here," I gasped. He nodded. When the turbolift door slid open, he dragged me down the hall to our quarters, and pressed me against the wall as soon as we were inside. His lips trailed down my neck and came to rest on my collarbone. He traced his tongue along the bone, pushing my shirt off my shoulder to follow it to the sloping curve of my arm.

"Leonard -" I breathed.

"I didn't realize I'd been waiting so long," he murmured against my skin, his voice all wonder. My skin tingled everywhere his lips had touched, like the residual sensation left by the transporter. I pulled away.

"This isn't too soon?" I asked, uncertain.

"Is it? You're overthinking this." His lips found mine again, and I could feel the burn of the stubble on his jaw across my cheek. His hands traced up my back, the fingers digging into the tense muscles of my shoulders. "Relax." His voice was barely a whisper. His hands traced back down to my waist, and slid under my shirt, spread wide against my ribcage as he pushed my shirt up. There was no way I was relaxing. I wanted to memorize every sensation as his skilled surgeon's hands caressed me. He broke free of me long enough to pull his shirt over his head, and then pull mine off as well. He crashed back against me, every spot our skin met branding me. He pressed my arms into the wall above me, lacing his fingers in mine. His tongue tangled with mine, pulling me deeper into him.

I pulled a hand free of his, and traced my fingers down his sternum, through the scant dusting of hair on his chest. His free hand slid across my ribs, across my belly, finding the flesh of my hip and digging in. I moaned against his mouth.

"Bryn," he breathed, breaking the kiss. He sounded hesitant suddenly. I ran my fingers through his hair, drawing him back to me.

"Who's overthinking now?" I asked, dropping a string of kisses along his jaw, following his carotid artery, and then trailing the tip of my tongue along the same path my fingers had traced down his sternum. He drew in a ragged breath.

"Damnit, woman." The words made me smile, and I tilted my head to look up at him through my lashes. Leonard let out a feral noise and pulled me to my feet, hauling me over his shoulder. He marched us to the tiny single bed in his room, and dropped me on it, tugging his jeans off quickly. I struggled with my leggings for what felt like mere seconds before he pulled them down my legs and tossed them across the small room. He knelt between my legs, and dropped his hands beside my hips, dipping his head to kiss me just below my belly button. His thumbs traced the faded scars at the edges of my hips, and I writhed away, self-conscious. "Don't."

"They're -" I paused. "Katie -" I explained, trying to cover the loose striations.

"They're beautiful," he murmured, his breath hot against the pale streaks.

"Leonard," I protested. "They're awful. I don't -"

"There's nothing I've seen so far that I would call anything but stunning," he interrupted, resuming his worship. I closed my eyes and felt a tear trace down my temple into the hair above my ear. It felt stupid and ridiculous to be so moved by that acceptance, which made my breath catch and more tears spring to my eyes. Leonard paused when I dragged in the unsteady breath, and he shifted his weight so he was facing me. "Darlin', what did I do?" He smoothed my hair with his hand, and moved so he was laying on his hip beside me. I shook my head, flushing.

"I always seem to cry when I'm with you," I accused with a weak laugh.

"Well, that certainly wasn't my plan, sweetheart." He dipped his head and kissed the tears at my corner of my eye. "At least, not before we started."

I turned my head away, embarrassed by my tears, and by my blushes. "I must seem like some immature child," I complained, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Not at all." He shook his head. "A woman who hasn't been loved honestly," he countered.

"Loved?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing. He couldn't possibly be saying what I thought I'd heard. He laughed and turned my chin to force me to look him in the eyes.

"Loved," he replied simply. "Like it or not, kid."

"How could you possibly love me? Already?" I asked, surprised.

"How could I not?" He laughed. "You're clever, and funny. Smart. A good mother. Compassionate and brave. Not afraid to be vulnerable. You've got the soul of a warrior and the hands of a surgeon. It's like you were put in this galaxy just so I could find you."

"You make it sound like I'm special," I laughed. "I'm just -"

"Every single being in our universe is special, Bryn. And there's a lot of universe out there," he interrupted.

"So in all that universe, how did I luck into you?" I asked. He kissed my forehead and gathered me into his arms.

"Did you ever think that maybe I've lucked into you?" He murmured against my hair, smoothing the tangles with his fingers. I tucked into his side, and listened to the rhythm of his breathing until I felt his heart rate slow under my hand, and his breathing became deep and even. My eyelids grew heavy and just as I was drifting off to sleep, he began to snore lightly.

XXX

"Oh my god. Is this why you call him Bones?" The familiar voice was like a bucket of cold water. I was instantly awake, and sitting, holding the blanket up to my chest. Kara stood at the end of the bed, her jaw gaping. "I thought you were banging the captain?"

"Kara!" I hissed. "What the fuck are you doing here? Am I hallucinating?" I heard a low chuckle from behind me, and whipped my head back to look at Leonard. He had one arm under his head and was smiling at Kara.

"Katie told me about her science fair, and I thought it would be fun to check it out. When the fuck did," she gestured vaguely at the tiny bed Leonard and I were sharing, "this all start?"

"You're the friend from the bar!" Leonard suddenly exclaimed, sitting up beside me. "I remember you. How did you not know an Orion girl would give you a headache? That's first year interspecies relational anatomy knowledge."

"She was gorgeous. You thought so too!" Kara protested. Leonard laughed.

"I did, but even I know better than to tangle with Orion girls."

"Nice deflection, by the way." Kara winked, "but that doesn't answer my question about you and my best friend."

"It's not what you think," I started.

"Right, so just tripped? Fell on his penis?" She demanded, eyebrow arched.

"Actually, no. Just fell asleep, unfortunately," I admitted.

"With no clothes on?" Kara demanded. I narrowed my eyes.

"How did you get in here? How did you even know how to find us?" I asked, changing the subject. Kara grinned.

"I may have used the medical override." She winked and turned to leave the room. "So you might want to get dressed before the emergency team arrives."

I shot out of bed with the sheet wrapped around me, and dashed through the bathroom to my own room, quickly pulling clothes out of my closet and tugging them on. When I made it out to the living area, Bones was standing at the override panel in his underwear, turning the alarm off. Kara was sitting on the couch, smirking, holding a cup of coffee. I replicated coffee for both Leonard and I and sat down across from Kara.

"So why are you here?" I asked. I knew she'd already told me, but I'd only just wakened.

"Katie told me a few days ago about the science fair, and their project sounds so cool. I was due a few days leave." She shrugged.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"I wanted to surprise you. That kind of backfired." Her gaze flashed over to Bones, who was walking toward his coffee cup. He flopped down on the couch beside me. Kara rolled her eyes.

"I thought the captain was the cocky one," she commented.

"Oh, darlin', you have no idea." He stood up and kissed my forehead. "I'm going to hit the shower and get ready for Katie's presentation while you catch up."

Kara said nothing until the bathroom door slid shut and then she pounced. "What the ever-loving fuck, Bryn?"

"Uh -"

"When did this start? What happened with Kirk? Why didn't you let me know?" She looked genuinely hurt with the last question. I sighed and looked at my feet before looking back at her.

"Jim and I, uh, that ended a while ago now," I paused. She looked like she was going to interrupt and I held my hand up to stop her. "Long enough ago that you're right, I should have told you."

"And McCoy?" She pressed.

"I guess that really started a couple of days ago?" I thought. "Maybe even just yesterday. Depends on how you look at it."

"First kiss," she decided.

"On the mouth? A few days ago then," I admitted.

"He's kissed you other places?" She leered. I rolled my eyes.

"On the forehead a few times." I nodded. She raised an eyebrow.

"You'd best be careful, Bryn," she warned. "He is your direct superior."

"I'm aware of that, Kara."


	20. Chapter 20

"Auntie Kay!" Katie shrieked across the room and ran forward, throwing herself into Kara's arms. Kara let out a grunt and then laughed, wrapping Katie up in a hug. Jim stepped over and raised an eyebrow at me.

"You're not her type," I winked. He rolled his eyes.

"That was not what I was going to ask," he laughed in response. "I was rather more curious about exactly who your daughter doesn't have wrapped around her finger. Scotty, Keenser, Sulu and Chekov were talking about coming down last night. Chapel, and Tarin said they would be here as soon as they ate. Uhura managed to convince Spock that he needed to come, despite it not being logical for so many people to crowd her presentation. And isn't that your friend who's on the Yorktown?"

"That is exactly who it is," I laughed. "I didn't even know she was coming. And I had no idea Katie had made friends with so many adults."

"Chekov said she's been sneaking down to engineering to pick Scotty's brain for a few weeks now about this project," he explained, as though that was the reason for the nine crew aside from Bones and I that were waiting for the kids to start their presentation. Jung Yim directed us over to the seating, and by the time we were all seated, Lieutenant Commander Kerry was readying her introductions.

After welcoming the audience, she explained the goals of the science fair, and challenge that had been issued to the children participating. She introduced all the different teams that were presenting, and allowed each team to come and briefly explain their project before the actual presentations began.

"The teams participating today have all undergone some preliminary judging, but there are a number of judges in the audience as well, and I would remind teams that respectful communication of your plans and ideas will help the judges to determine the overall winners today. If you could return to your projects, I would invite the audience circulate while the first two groups present," she announced. Leonard and I sat back and watched as Katie nervously paced in front of her team's project. The other Enterprise crew walked around looking at the projects. Spock sat down beside me after circulating through the projects once.

"Based on the level of difficulty of the projects the students have undertaken, combined with the expertise with which they executed them, the statistical probability of the Enterprise team winning this science fair is eighty-nine point seven three four. Repeating," he offered. I laughed.

"That's one helluva vote of confidence, Mr. Spock," I replied. He nodded.

"The other projects are also impressive, but holographic technology is fickle and difficult even for the most gifted young scientists. I am particularly impressed with Katie's grasp of the concepts and materials, given she is such a recent addition to the Enterprise's primary school program," he continued. I felt my cheeks flush at the praise.

"My girl is pretty clever," I admitted. Spock quirked an eyebrow at me and nodded.

"I should complete my judging duties. I felt it was only prudent to share my impressions with you, as you appear to be more nervous than Katie." He stood and headed toward a different project, leaving me gaping at him. Bones rubbed my back.

"Of course you're nervous," he reassured me. "Parents carry their children's worries."

Kara sat down in the chair Spock had just freed, and took my hand in hers, squeezing reassuringly. And I relaxed against the ministrations of Leonard's hand, trying not to obsess about how Katie was doing. From my vantage point, she looked poised, engaged and excited about the project. The entire team presented like a well-oiled machine, and I had to credit Mr. Yim for his influence on the children. I had to remind myself that they were, in fact, children, when Chekov approached them and the girls all got excited. Katie had mentioned the young Ensign a couple of times, but it was mostly in terms of how smart she thought he was. He'd come to her class a number of times to help Mr. Yim with certain aspects of the material that was being taught just because he had a more youth-oriented perspective. Katie seemed comfortable interacting with him, as opposed to the other girls in the group, who all got giggly and silly when he smiled.

"I think Katie might be sweet on Chekov," Leonard whispered in my ear.

"No, look at her," I disagreed. "She's still acting fairly normal. The other two girls definitely have a crush though."

"Katie is a lot younger than those two girls. They're actively flirting with him," Kara interjected. "Katie takes a small step away every time one of them says something. Watch."

Sure enough, one of the girls laughed at something Chekov said and touched his arm, and Katie scowled and turned away from the scene completely.

"He's nearly twice her age!" I whispered.

"You don't need to worry, Momma Bear, Pavel is a good kid and will not be trolling the primary school for dates," Leonard laughed. "In fact, I doubt he's even aware that the girls think he's cute."

"My poor little girl. Why couldn't she have a crush on a boy her own age?" I wasn't really looking for an answer, but Kara nudged me and pointed at the boys in her group, who were actively competing about who could belch the best alphabet. And just to prove they were smart little boys, they were arguing about the nuances of belching Vulcan. While belching Vulcan. "Point taken."

When the presentations wrapped up, and there was only judging left, the crew gathered at the back of the room to discuss social plans. Tarin excused herself right away, pleading some sort of botany emergency.

"Why don't we get some lunch?" Chapel suggested.

"I'm going to excuse myself." Sulu stepped back. "I promised Ben and Demora a vid playdate, and then I should probably check in with botany, if Tarin is concerned about something."

"Keenser and I were meeting with some other engineers to -"

"Stop. Our ears will bleed," Jim interrupted. "Go be engineers. Chekov, are you going with them, or coming with us?"

"I think coming with you." Chekov accepted the weird invite with a smile. Uhura shook her head from behind Jim and nodded toward Spock before winking at me. I bit my lip to hold back my grin and just barely nodded my head. They slipped away while Jim was distracted, not because they were keeping secrets, but because Jim liked to tease them both mercilessly. Kara slapped Jim on the back.

"You buying, Captain Kirk?" She winked. He smirked and followed after her as we left the science fair. Chapel fell in beside me.

"He is barking up the wrong tree," I laughed.

"No one can resist that Jim Kirk charm for long," Chapel countered. I shook my head.

"She can." I was firm. "Just watch."

XXX

"So what are you crazy kids up to this afternoon?" Kara winked at me. "Footloose and fancy-free, an entire starbase to explore." As Kara started questioning me, Jim rose, excusing himself, to answer a message on his comm.

"I was hoping -" I started.

"Sorry to interrupt. I'm going to be recalling the crew, we've been requested to investigate an emergency beacon." Jim put his hand on my shoulder as he cut in. I sighed.

"Sounds exciting," Kara smiled. "I almost miss the thought."

"Come along, Doctor. We can drop you at Yorktown," Jim offered. "From the sounds of things, we're headed that direction. More or less."

"And there's nothing closer to investigate?" I asked. "That seems unlikely."

"Nothing big enough. The beacon is from a large Federation colony. About five hundred people, so if evacuation is necessary, we're the nearest ship that is large enough," Jim explained. "It would be nice to have an extra doctor, Kara."

"If nothing else, I'll take a lift back to Yorktown. It might save me some dignity," she laughed. Chapel smirked.

"Not a fan of the transporter?" She asked. "Doctor McCoy has similar feelings."

"Glad to know I'm not alone, Bones," Kara winked. Leonard scowled.

"It's too bad the kids will miss out on the end of their science fair," I lamented. "Katie will be disappointed."

"I'll be in touch with Mr. Yim," Jim explained. "My understanding was that the judging is mostly complete. We'll be reprovisioning for the next twelve hours. Hopefully they'll be finished by then."

"I'll head back to the ship and get a supplies list for Medbay started," Leonard grumbled. "Leave is never quite long enough, but this is ridiculous."

"Make the most of the last half hour you have, Bones." Jim winked and walked away. Kara snorted and turned to Chapel.

"Well, new friend, want to tour me around the Enterprise?" Her smile was flirtatious, and Chapel flushed. Leonard smirked at me and took my hand, leading me back to our shared quarters. He pressed a kiss to my lips as soon as we were alone.

"I don't want to rush this the first time, darlin'," he murmured against my mouth. "And a half hour just isn't quite long enough."

I sighed, disappointed and frustrated as he flopped onto the couch in the shared living area of our quarters. I stepped over to him, wedging myself between his knees. "If not now, Leonard, when? I think it was you who reminded me that once I got Katie back, I couldn't carry on as I had been with Jim," I countered, a teasing tone to my voice. He laughed and pulled me into his lap, smoothing the hair off my face.

"I don't intend for us to carry on." He arched an eyebrow in challenge.

"A sleepover is a sleepover," I countered. He pursed his lips and sighed, finally nodding in defeat.

"You aren't wrong," he agreed. "Maybe we oughta wait until things appear more serious."

I groaned in frustration. "Seriously?"

He laughed. "Look, kid, it's more for Katie's sake than anything. She's barely settled in. You can't be springing a boyfriend on her all of a sudden."

"You know what sucks?" I complained. "You're right. But that means we have now, or we wait." Leonard leaned forward and kissed me, slow, full of promise. His hand slid up my side, his thumb cupping the underside of my breast.

"Some things are worth the wait," he murmured, and then not-so-gently dumped me out of his lap onto the floor with a laugh.

"You're an ass, Leonard McCoy," I complained.

"You'll get used to it." He offered his hand to pull me to my feet.

XXX

"Well, that was stupid," Katie complained as she threw her overnight bag down on the couch. She flopped down beside it. "We didn't get to stay for the final judging. They said our project was remarkable, and they would let Mr. Yim and Captain Kirk know the outcome. And would beam our prize to us if we won. So stupid. Hey Uncle Bones." She tossed Captain Fluffybuns at Leonard when she noticed him.

"I'm sure you won, Katie," he assured her, tossing Captain Fluffybuns back at her. He was lounging in the chair opposite Katie, his legs extended and propped up on the coffee table. He looked completely at ease interacting with her, and my heart hurt that he didn't have his daughter with him too. "That hot springs program was amazing."

"Okay, but did you see the cardiac tricorder the older kids built?" She demanded. Leonard nodded, smirking.

"I did."

"It was amazing. And it could tell you about blockages before they even put your patients at risk!" Katie exclaimed. She sighed. "It was so super cool."

"Can I let you in on a little secret, Katie?" He asked. Katie nodded. "It didn't work."

"What do you mean? They had results and test subjects and everything!" She protested. Leonard nodded.

"And every single one of them was a relatively young, healthy, human. I can't have a species specific instrument in my medbay. Their results were skewed whenever anyone over thirty-five was scanned, and anyone who had ever had any kind of injury to the chest automatically was flagged as at risk. It's inherently flawed," he explained. "Your program could be adapted for training or leisure."

Katie sighed and slumped back into the couch. "Are you sure?"

"If you don't trust me, trust Spock. He tried scanning himself with it, and it told him he was dead. Vulcan anatomy is such that their hearts are down here," he gestured to his right side, below his lungs, "instead of up here." He tapped where a human heart was. Katie giggled a little in response.

"Thanks, Bones." She grabbed her bag and Captain Fluffybuns and disappeared into her room. I brought Leonard a coffee and handed it to him, perching beside him on the armrest of the chair. His arm slipped around my hips.

"We should probably get down to Medbay to supervise the restock," he grumbled. I yawned.

"Sure. Let me just make sure Katie is settled, and I'll meet you?" I asked, standing up. Leonard rose and walked toward the door. I followed. He stopped at the doors and leaned forward to press a kiss against my lips before he pushed the button to open the door.

"No rush. Make sure she's feeling okay," he murmured as he broke away. I nodded and watched him walk down the hall. When I turned around, Katie was standing in the living room, looking like she'd just taken a phaser shot.

"Did he just kiss you, Mama?" Her voice was small and nervous.

"He did," I acknowledged.

"Is that a doctor thing?" She asked, eerily reminiscent of Scotty's question from the night before.

"No," I replied.

"Do you like him?" It was beginning to feel like an interrogation. I sat down on the chair Bones had just vacated and nodded.

"Very much, Katie-cat."

"And he likes you?"

"Surprisingly, he seems to," I laughed.

"Okay," she nodded. "Don't you need to go to work?"

"That's it? You're fine?" I asked. She nodded.

"Yeah. I like him a lot too," she smiled. "He's always nice to me. But it's a different kind of nice than the other officers."

"Oh?" I asked. She screwed up her face in thought and then flopped back on the couch again.

"I think because he's a dad already?" She asked, rhetorically. "I dunno why, Mama. He just seems like he's actually listening to what I'm saying. And he asks me questions that he actually wants to know the answers to. Not just asks questions because they're the kind of questions you ask a kid, you know?"

"I think so," I nodded. I headed into my room to change into my uniform and thought about what Katie had said. I paused at the couch noting that Katie hadn't moved, and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "You're sure you're okay on your own?"

"Mama!" Her tone was pure exasperation. "You're three minutes away. I don't need watching every second."

"Okay, well, pop down to medbay if you decide you're going somewhere." I squeezed her shoulder and grabbed my PADD as I headed out.

XXX

Chapel was organizing medkits for the away team when I stepped into medbay, and Kara was standing with her. They were engaged in a conversation that seemed friendly at the very least, and flirtatious if you looked at it through a certain lens. I smiled to myself and tracked down Bones in the clean hold, pulling supplies.

"We aren't getting a lot of clear information from the surface, but it sounds like we're going to need at least two medical teams down there. What we have been told is it was some sort of natural disaster, but Uhura intercepted a subspace message about a coup as well, so we're not entirely sure what we're going into. I'm going to leave your friend up here with M'Benga. You and I will each take a team down. Plan for injuries and malnutrition. Chapel is loading medkits with nutrient drinks. Jim has assigned us each security details," Leonard explained. I nodded.

"Are we teleporting or taking a shuttle?" I asked.

"We'll take a shuttle. It allows us to set up a mobile unit."

"How soon are we leaving?" I asked, pulling my comm out of my pocket to send a message to Katie.

"Within the hour," he replied. I took a deep breath and nodded again. "What's wrong?"

"The last away mission you went on, you very nearly died," I blurted. He smiled and dropped a kiss on my forehead.

"That's why I'm taking you with me this time, darlin'," he teased. "Keep you close enough to save me again."

"That's not funny," I scowled. He laughed.

"There's a prep list on your PADD. Work with Chapel to finish your prep and meet me in the shuttle bay in forty minutes." He turned back to the supplies and kept working. I accessed the list on my PADD and tracked down Christine. She was nearly finished loading the kits, and I double checked each one as she finished.

"Can we grab a couple extra vials of anti-nauseant, Chris? I've read that when you're malnourished, those nutrient drinks can be too much, and make you puke," I explained.

"Yeah, I'll grab you a few more vials." She turned back to the med cart and started rummaging through a drawer. "So Kara is nice." I smothered a laugh.

"She is." I played coy, wanting to draw out her questions.

"She seeing anyone?" She asked, handing a box of vials back to me. She carefully avoided making eye contact. I placed the box in a medkit and bit my lip.

"Not last time I checked," I admitted. Chapel looked thoughtful for a moment and went back to digging around in the med cart for more vials. Before Christine could ask any more questions, Kara returned with a stack of dressing supplies.

"M'Benga says I am to tell you that you are not to cut anyone open under any circumstances, but if you do, there is a fully stocked surgical kit being sent down," she laughed. "Who did you cut open?"

"Leonard." I flushed. Kara gaped.

"What? You never told me about that! Give me the details!" She demanded. I glanced down at my comm and shook my head.

"Can't, gotta run. I bet Chapel would be happy to fill you in though." I nodded toward Christine as I headed toward the turbolift. She scowled and then blushed before leading Kara off with the beginning of the story.


	21. Chapter 21

The transport ride was bumpy as hell, and Bones was green by the time we landed. I placed a hypo to his neck and smirked. "This is payback for all those zero-grav drills."

"Darlin', I'm gonna make you pay for that eventually," he growled. I laughed and headed toward the door, my medkit slung over my shoulder. The security team stepped out onto the planet first, and came back a few minutes later with an all-clear. They'd found the first group of colonists just outside the city, at a makeshift camp. Security reported bad conditions and a number of injuries. Leonard took his team toward them while I awaited a report on the second group of colonists that had been found. They were at an outcropping of rock that was in the lee of a hill, and reported they were also in bad condition. I followed the security detail with my team toward the second group. I didn't like being separated from Leonard, but as both groups were in rough shape, it made sense to divide and conquer, as it were. My heart nearly stopped when I looked at the ragged group. It was mostly children, few of them older than Katie. My heart tightened in my chest.

"Which one of you brave kids is in charge here?" I asked. A slight girl with filthy blonde hair stepped forward.

"I am. You're Federation?" She pointed at the insignia on my chest.

"More importantly, I'm a doctor. You can call me Bryn. What's your name?" I asked. She scowled and shook her head. "Or what would you like me to call you?"

"You can call me Katniss." Her lips pursed.

"That's my daughter's favourite book. We've read it together a bunch," I smiled. "So, Katniss, you're the leader, can you tell me who needs medical attention most urgently?"

She stood a little taller, once I acknowledged her leadership, and looked around the huddled group of children. "The little ones. We've been trying to keep the clean water for them, but none of us have eaten in days. I think the little ones are probably in the worst shape. If you give me water, I'll give everyone something to drink while you start on them."

"That guy just behind me is Nurse Axan. He will help you give water and nutridrinks out to everyone while I get started on your little charges." I pointed at my nurse, who opened a med kit and started pulling out packets. I stepped toward a group of young children. Some of them looked to be no more than three or four years old. And they all looked scared and suspicious.

"Hi." I sat down a short distance from two little girls who were clinging to one another. I pointed back at Katniss. "She told me you needed my help. I'm a doctor. Can I show you my tools?" I opened my med kit and carefully pulled out my stethoscope.

"This is an old piece of equipment, but I like it a lot. It's called a stethoscope. It helps me listen to your heartbeat. Doctor's stopped using these about a hundred years ago, but I like them in places like this, where it's dusty, and the components in my electronics could get damaged." I realized I was probably using words they didn't understand because of their age. "Anyhow, I can hear your heart with it. Want to listen to mine?"

One of the girls crept forward, nodding. I held the stethoscope up. "You put the squishy parts in your ears," I explained. She placed the earpieces in her ears and nodded, waiting. "Now listen carefully." I placed the bell under my uniform, against my chest. The little girl squinted, and then her eyes widened.

"Thump-thump. Thump-thump," she murmured. I smiled, and nodded.

"Yeah, that's my heart. Want to hear yours?" I asked. She nodded again. I pulled the stethoscope out of my shirt, and leaned toward her. She flinched, and then stopped, allowing me to place the bell on her chest over her tattered top. "Listen carefully again."

"Thump-thump. Thump-whoosh. Thump-thump," she bobbed her head along with the tempo of her heart.

"Can I listen?" I asked. If she was repeating the sound accurately, there was something wrong with her heart. She nodded solemnly, and I took the stethoscope from her and listened. Sure enough, there was a constriction in one of the valves. I pulled my tricorder out and ran it over her, and it showed me the signs of a normal heart murmur, which would be nothing to be concerned about in a child her age, except that she was malnourished and dehydrated. "Can I give you some medicine to help you feel better?"

Her eyes got big, but I didn't reach for anything until she agreed. "Mm-kay." I reached for a hypo and gave her a shot of vitamins, not unlike the ones Bones had given me after my first month shipboard. Then I handed her a box of juice. It had an electrolyte rebalancing agent in it, and some protein.

"I know you're probably really thirsty, but I need you to take it slow. Take a sip and then," I paused. She probably was too young to count. I looked around and saw her feet were bare. "Take a sip, and then touch each one of your toes with your pointy finger." I demonstrated. She giggled, like it was the silliest thing she'd ever been asked to do, but very carefully took one sip of the drink, and then started tapping her toes. I moved on to her friend, who'd been creeping closer to me as I assessed the first child. I worked through the crowd of preschoolers, looking them over with my PADD quickly. Few had needed more than a nutritional drink. Katniss started directing me to the kids she felt needed me more urgently once she and Axan had everyone drinking something. Finally, after what seemed like forever, but was probably only an hour, I sat her down, and knelt in front of her.

"You're really good with the little kids," she commented. I shrugged. "Is your daughter little?"

"I'd guess she's closer to your age than theirs." I ran the tricorder over her quickly. She started coughing. It was dry and sounded painful, and she took a sip of her drink to try to force the coughing to subside. She wasn't terribly successful. I held my scanner up to her chest and saw some revealing scarring on her chest. My jaw clenched involuntarily. She'd been exposed to a biological agent at some point. Something that had been deliberately put into the air in order to damage the lungs of the colonists.

"I'm eleven," she offered. I nodded as I looked up the treatment for the lung damage. I didn't have it with me, but it would be easy enough to take care of once we were back on the Enterprise.

"My daughter is ten." It was an exchange intended to build more trust.

"Is she on your ship, up there?" She asked.

"She is," I nodded. "Katniss, I know it's probably hard for you to remember everything that has happened, but we need to know what is going on here."

"Last year, there was a crop failure," she began. "I guess it wasn't supposed to be a big deal. The colony entered trade agreements with another colony, a non-Federation colony. They needed an ambassador to come do the trade negotiations. That's when my Mom, and her husband came here. They're both ambassadors. I was sent to the primary school while Mom worked with one side and Clay worked with the other."

"You're not from here?" I asked. She shook her head. "So going to school, that's how you met all these kids?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "So the talks broke down, and then another crop failed, and pretty soon people are really hungry. And they start fighting about rations. And then there was a rebellion. And pretty soon riots. And people were killing one another. Like they had a disease, Bryn. They completely forgot about their children. And then there was the sweat fog."

"Sweat fog?" I asked.

"The last morning we stayed in the city, we woke up, and there was a fog all around the ground. It was really creepy," she said. "I went to check it out, and made the mistake of breathing it in. All of us that were exposed, we get terrible sweats in the night, and our coughs won't go away."

"And then you left the city?"

"No one seemed to care what happened to us, so we came out here. Dav- uh, the oldest boy and his brother know how to hunt, and there was a bunch of us taking advanced botany classes, so we've had enough vegetables and fruit for a while, but the little ones are getting weaker and we don't want to keep moving," she explained.

"The distress call we received." I suddenly thought of it. "It brought us here. Not just to this planet, but this location on the planet. That was you children?"

"One of the boys is good with computers. We snuck back into town and set the distress beacon with our coordinates and then he masked the beacon so it couldn't be heard planetside." The calm way she explained everything broke my heart and I felt my eyes fill with tears. She was too young, all of the kids I'd treated were too young. They shouldn't have had to be daring and brave and strong.

"How did you know what frequencies Starfleet uses?" I asked.

"My dad is a Lieutenant Commander," she explained.

"I thought your dad was an ambassador." I was confused.

"That's my step-father. He's not my dad at all." She was adamant.

"Do you know what happened to your mother? To your step-father?" I asked.

"I don't know." She shook her head. "Things have been pretty violent in the cities though." She had tears in her eyes as she said it, and I fought the urge to pull her into my arms and comfort her.

"Okay. We'll find out together," I promised. "Do you remember where you last saw your mother?"

"She was being held at the Federation Embassy," Katniss nodded. "I tried getting in once, but the doors are pretty heavily guarded."

I flipped my comm open. "Erikssen to Scotty. Can you look at the plans for the embassy and tell me if there's a back way in? Or an emergency escape tunnel, or something?"

"I'll look into it. Scotty out."

"Kirk to Erikssen, what are you seeing down there?" Jim's question followed Scotty's reply quickly. I relayed the story from Katniss and awaited a response from Jim or Scotty. "I'll have Scotty upload the blueprints to your PADD. Can you take the security detail and investigate?"

"Let me finish treating these children," I replied.

"Kirk to Erikssen, do you have any coursework in tactics?" The connection over the comm was crackly, but his point was clear. He wanted me to lead a group into the city.

"I took Survival Strategies and Tactical Analysis as part of my officer training," I confirmed.

"That'll have to do. Take a phaser. Set it to stun. Find out what is going on in that city. Kirk out."

I looked at the young girl sitting in front of me and sighed. "Do you think the children would be willing to go back to the ship?"

"If you send the older boys," she affirmed. "But I'm coming with you." I pursed my lips. The city sounded dangerous, and I didn't want to take her with me. But going would give her a chance to look for her mother.

"On one condition," I agreed. She nodded. "You do exactly as I say." She sighed, and I sensed she wanted to roll her eyes, but she nodded again. I gestured Axan over to us and began explaining how I wanted to children evacuated.

"But the transport -" Axan protested.

"Leave it for Bones. It sounded like his team will need more supplies anyhow. Your priority one is getting those kids shipboard," I interrupted. I pulled my comm out. "Bones, you handy?"

"Kind of busy, Bryn," he replied.

"Jim has me headed on a recon mission with security. The transport is waiting for you, we are beaming fourteen children up," I reported.

"Be safe." His words were short, which suggested to me that he was up to his elbows in cases.

"Do you need me over with you? Because I can comm Jim -"

"We're managing. Go get the intel Jim is looking for. And be safe about it," he interrupted. I put my comm away and checked the phaser that the security team had offered. It was set for stun. It gave me an uncomfortable feeling to strap it to my hip. I wasn't interested in harming people. But in the interest of self-reliance, I supposed it was necessary.

"You ready?" I asked my young charge. She nodded. We allowed the security team to lead us into the hills heading toward the city. As we walked, Katniss began to open up more about herself, telling me about all the books she'd had a chance to read as she'd travelled with her mother. She wasn't as passionate about science as Katie, but she was already planning on taking nurse's training, she admitted. I smiled at the admission. The way the children had taken to her leadership suggested she would be an excellent nurse. We kept our conversation quiet as we neared the edge of the city, but it mostly looked deserted.

"Do you think there's no one left?" I asked Hendorff as we approached a burned out building. He grimaced in response. Not much of an answer. He held his hand up to silence us, and then gestured for us to follow him, winding through a back alley toward the middle of town. We stopped at the edge of an open square, and Hendorff consulted with the other security officers while Katniss and I cooled our heels in the shadows.

"What made you become a doctor?" She asked suddenly. I chewed my lip thoughtfully.

"I wanted to help people, I guess. Same reason you want to become a nurse?" I asked in response.

"Yeah. When I finish the training, I am going to ask them to let me use my dad's insignia." She held out a beat up sciences pin. I was just about to take it from her and check the inscription on the back when I felt something slam into the back of my head and my world went black.

XXX

I came to, groggy and confused, on a dirty tile floor. I tried to remember what had occurred that I would wind up sleeping on a filthy floor. I pressed myself to recall: I'd been on an away mission, I'd met a young girl, and then, nothing. I felt panic well in my chest as I realized the girl had been in my care, and I had no idea what had happened. I pushed myself to sitting, and rubbed my eyes. The room was dim, and in the corner, there was a small heap of scraps that was vaguely human shaped. I scrabbled toward it, and in the low light, could tell it was the girl. I put a hand on her shoulder.

"Katniss," I whispered. She curled up tighter and tried to pull away. "Sweetheart, let me check you over." I felt the muscles in her back relax and she craned her neck to look at me.

"I thought you might be dying. Your breathing was really slow," she said, and wiggled into a sitting position. "They hit you. They didn't hit me, they just grabbed me."

"Did you see where they took us?" I asked. She nodded.

"We're in the basement of the embassy, I think." She was uncertain. "We came in the back of a building and then right down a flight of stairs. The guy that grabbed me had me over his shoulder so I didn't see much." I looked around the room and saw that we were alone. My stomach dropped.

"Did they kill the security team?" I didn't want to know the answer.

"No," she replied quickly. "They weren't careful about talking in front of me. They stunned them, and a couple of guys took them to dump them outside the city." I breathed a sigh of relief. At least someone would know we'd gone missing. I felt my pockets, but sure enough, my communicator was gone. I stood up and paced out the edges of the room. The door was a heavy wood affair, which I found interesting, but the hinges were on the outside. There were no windows, but there was a gap at the floor on the far side of the room opposite the door, and there was just a hint of a breeze flowing under it.

"Well, shit," I grumbled, and ran my hands through my hair, letting out a hiss of pain as I touched the lump at the back. "Wait, what makes you think this is the embassy?"

"The courtyard at the front is all mosaic tiles, making up these pretty nebulas and constellations. The terrace where they carried us in was similar," she explained. The door creaked open and two men, filthy and looking exhausted, stepped in, phasers pointed at us.

"Korm wants to talk to you." One of them gestured toward me. I shook my head.

"I'm going nowhere without the child," I refused. The second one shrugged and grabbed her by the shoulder, dragging her toward the door. I had no choice but to follow. When I caught up, he let go of her, and I took her hand in mine. I wasn't sure if it was to comfort her or me, but I was no longer worried about her saving face in front of her peers, and instead worried that if she didn't get immediate reassurance from someone that she might do something rash. So I held her hand, and rubbed my thumb across the back of her knuckles, soothing both of us in the process. We were pushed into a large open room, and she gasped, and tried to hide behind me.

"Bring them forward." The man at the other end of the room called, from where he was seated. He was in a large chair that was up two stairs on a dias, like some sort of medieval despot. The two guards that had collected us from the basement pushed me forward, and pushed me to my knees at the foot of the stairs.

"She was caught with the girl at the city's edge." The older of the two guards offered. The man on the throne smirked.

"Starfleet?" He asked, stepping down the two stairs and flicking the insignia on my shirt before turning back to his throne. "Your kind don't belong here."

"We were responding to a distress call." I didn't waste words explaining myself.

"We made it clear how we felt about Starfleet when we took this embassy and slaughtered the residents," he growled. "Starfleet has done nothing here, so Starfleet is no longer welcome. I am the government now."

"Just you?" I asked. He spun back to face me.

"Just me. History will remember me as Korm the Conqueror, who fought against the oppression of Starfleet. As Korm the Liberator, who freed his people from the shackles of their enslavement. As Korm the -"

"Korm the long-winded, and Korm the self-serving, who starved cities into submission and orated speeches until the last of his populace went mad with boredom." The girl beside me suddenly found her courage again, and I could see why she'd chosen Katniss as her alias. Korm stepped down to our level again, and pulled her up by her filthy braid. He looked her over, a slow, menacing smile creeping across his face.

"Joanna," he hissed. "How nice to see you've survived." My head snapped over to the girl beside me. Surely the name was a coincidence.

"And my mother? Has she survived?" Her bravado was impressive. I wouldn't have been able to be that strong at eleven. The smirk turned into a sneer.

"Your mother was a traitor who tried to force us into a trade agreement that would have crippled our economy. Your father was a puppet for the enemy. They've both paid for their crimes," he snarled. Joanna's back got more rigid.

"My father is a lieutenant commander in Starfleet. Hell will look good in comparison to what he will do to you." Her threat sent chills down my spine. Korm dropped her to the tile beside me, and when she pushed herself back to standing, I could see the tremor in her hand, and laced her fingers in mine.

"Get them out of my sight. Hail the orbiting ship and let them know they have three hours to leave our space or the doctor dies," Korm spat at the guards standing behind us. The guards grabbed us and dragged us back to our basement cell. The guard leading Joanna had stupidly left my communicator hanging from the back of his belt, and when I saw it, I stumbled into him, trying to free it. I was unsuccessful, but I had at least activated the emergency beacon. If he left the basement, the signal would reach the Enterprise and they would know where to find us.

As they deposited us in the cell, the guard carrying Joanna got a little handsy, and she shrieked in surprise and fear, trying to wiggle from his grasp. I saw red, and charged forward, the force of my momentum breaking his grip on her. I regained my balance, standing as a block between him and Joanna.

"She is a child!" I snarled. "Keep your filthy hands off her."

He leered at me and then lunged toward me. I planted my feet, and directed a punch somewhere in the neighbourhood of his face. It made a sickening crunch as it landed, and blood started pouring from the guard's nose. Momentarily stunned, he rubbed the back of his sleeve across his face, and when it came back bloody, he let out a gutteral roar and charged toward me again. There was no way I would be able to maintain the advantage, he was too angry. I heard Joanna scream as he knocked me to the floor. I covered the back of my neck on instinct, and curled into a ball. He landed a single kick to my kidneys, and I nearly vomitted. But then the assault stopped, his partner hauling him off of me.

"It's not worth it," the other guard said. "Korm would have your ass if you hurt his prize."

The first guard leaned over me. "Korm is gonna love breaking you." I didn't look up. The door of the cell slammed shut.

We were alone in our cell again, and Joanna was obviously shaken by the revelation about her mother and the groping from the guard. She slid down the wall, knees tucked against her chest, and dropped her head into her arms. I allowed myself a few minutes to calm down after the guard left before I went back to examining the wall with the secret passage. There had to be a way to open it, but the question then became one of notice. If the door opened, would an alarm sound? Would it be noisy because of years of disuse? I ran my hand across the ridged wall, looking for any kind of real indication that there might be electronic controls on the door. Joanna sniffled from behind me.

"What are you doing?"

"There's some kind of opening here. We just need to find the release to get the door to open," I explained, my fingers catching on a raised section of the wall. I tried to prise my fingers into the catch, but was unsuccessful. Joanna reached up and brushed my fingers out of the way.

"If this is anything like the rest of this building," she said, pressing on the area, "you push in and slide down." Exactly as she said, the panel slipped beneath the wall and dropped, revealing a button. She waited, looking at me for direction. I bit my lip. If we stayed, we would likely wind up dead. But I had no idea what was waiting for us on the other side of the wall. I dropped to my hands and knees and stuck my face as close as I could to the thin shaft of air moving beneath the sliding door. It was stale, but not rank, not moist, not cloying. Just stale.

"Joanna." I paused and let her realize that I had been paying attention, and knew her real name. "I'm going to ask you to do something very difficult right now. I need you to trust me. I have no idea what's on the other side of that door, but I don't think it is any worse than what will happen to us if Korm decides he wants another audience."

"They took my Dad's pin." It was the only thing she said. I nodded. "I know I won't ever get it back, but it makes me really mad."

I pulled the insignia pin off my uniform and pinned it to her ragged top. "Keep mine safe for me. Until your Dad can give you another one." She smiled at me, her eyes filling with tears. And suddenly, her arms were wrapped around my waist.

"My mom is dead, isn't she?" She asked. I swallowed thickly. I didn't think it was right to lie to her. But she was just a kid.

"I don't know, Joanna." The words weighed heavy on me. "But I think probably." A single tear streaked through the dirt on her face and I didn't even bother trying to fight the urge to gather her into my arms. I pulled her against me, her skinny arms wrapping tighter around me. I waited for the sobs that I knew should come, but she was silent, and just clung to me for a few minutes before pulling away.

"That bastard needs to pay," she hissed. The scowl that settled across her features confirmed what I'd suspected since I'd learned her name. This was Joanna McCoy. She was the image of her father with the scowl furrowing her brow. She reached up and pressed the button. The door slid back noiselessly, revealing a dark, narrow corridor. There was a vague, diffuse light coming from far at the end of the hall, and before we could decide if we wanted to actually try to escape that way, the door slid shut behind us, leaving us no choice. I stepped ahead of her, and started toward the dim light.

"Come on, kid. Let's be heroes," I muttered. I heard her let out a huff of air not entirely unlike a resigned laugh. I felt her fingers slip under my belt as she followed along behind me. We were not moving fast because of the dark, but then we heard the sound of gears screeching behind us, and I realized the door was being pried open. "Run!" We stumbled through the dark. My eyes never quite acclimating to the inky blackness around us, but I focussed on the light at the end of the corridor and kept moving, dragging Joanna along behind me.

"Captain, I am reading two heat signatures in the emergency tunnel." The voice was quiet, but clear. And close enough that I recognized it as Spock's.

"Spock!" I called. The light at the end of the hall suddenly became brighter, flooding the rough hewn walls with light. I could see where we were headed and increased my speed. "You okay, Joey?" I turned my head back to Joanna who nodded, eyes wide. "Spock!"

"Yes, Captain, confirmed. I have audio confirmation of Doctor Erikssen plus one other person. At the speed she is travelling, I would project her arrival in less than three minutes." Spock's voice echoed down the hall. "Of course, Captain. We will inform Lieutenant Commander Scott as soon as we are ready to beam."

I reached back and grabbed Joanna's hand, and dug my legs in. I could hear the pursuers catching up behind us, and desperately wanted to get to Spock in time to return to the Enterprise without complications. The exit was rapidly approaching, and my lungs were burning. I pulled Joanna ahead of me and pushed her through the opening into the daylight ahead of me, and then burst out myself. Spock nodded and flipped his comm open. "Mister Scott. Three to beam up."

"Energizing."


	22. Chapter 22

Bones was waiting in the teleporter room, and rushed forward, pulling me into his arms. I allowed myself a fraction of a second, and pushed him back.

“Take the girl, Bones,” I protested, pointing to Joanna. He shook his head, tears in his eyes.

“Kara is on her way -”

“I am fine. She is malnourished and needs your attention. Kara can manage me. Take the girl,” I insisted. His brown furrowed as I pushed him gently toward Joanna. He looked down at her, and stopped in his tracks, looking at her, then back to me. He looked back to her and rushed to her, dropping to his knees.

“Joey?” His voice cracked. “Jesus Christ. Joanna?” I gestured to Spock and Scotty to follow me out of the teleporter room to give him a minute with his daughter. Spock took the opportunity to insist on escorting me to medbay.

“I’m really fine, Spock,” I protested. He raised an eyebrow.

“You have a black eye, a cut on your forehead and a slight limp. You told Doctor McCoy that Doctor Malhotra could assess your needs,” he explained. I sighed.

“Are you always so goddamn literal?” I grumbled.

“As the first officer on this ship, I have a responsibility to see to the well-being of officers who would otherwise not be mindful of their own health,” he shot back. Points to the Vulcan. “Doctor Malhotra, I have brought Doctor Erikssen to you for assessment.”

Kara looked up from the child she was monitoring and nodded toward a free biobed. “Hop up, Bryn. I figured Bones wouldn’t let you out of his sight. I’ll be over when I’m finished with this kid.”

“He has a far more important patient,” I explained, and boosted myself up onto the bed. Before Kara could see to me, Leonard carried Joanna in, and placed her gently on the biobed beside mine. He murmured something to her, and gave her a hypo. She dropped off to sleep quickly. He turned to me and I saw his eyes were filled with tears.

“I will never be able to thank you enough,” he started. I held up my hand to stop him.

“You don’t need to thank me, Leonard,” I protested. “You would have done the same for any child you came across. I didn’t realize it was her until very near to the end.”

“Your security team found Jocelyn in a mass grave at the edge of town,” he said, his voice cracking. “I thought Joanna must be there too.”

“Oh Leonard.” I felt my own eyes fill with tears, as my brain immediately put me in his place. He shook his head and leaned forward, brushing his lips across my forehead.

“Hey, back away, this one’s mine. You have your own patient,” Kara shooed him away. He scowled and went back to Joanna, running the tricorder across her as she slept. Kara did the same to me, minus the sedation. “Interesting.”

“All I did was run a little,” I protested. 

“Explain why your kidney is bruised?” She demanded, arching an eyebrow.

“Okay, I ran a little and I got kicked a little,” I admitted. She shook her head and looked back down at the tricorder with a sigh. “How’s Katie?”

“Completely oblivious to the peril you were in, on the captain’s orders. Bones was mighty pissed about that,” Kara responded.

“The girl had a right to know what was happening,” Leonard grumbled from beside Joanna’s bed. Kara snorted.

“She would have needed sedation herself had she known. Had Bryn remained a hostage, I would have completely endorsed telling her, but Jim was right to keep it from her while we still were in the initial stages of the rescue,” Kara retorted. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing, aware that the response was largely inappropriate, but still wanting to laugh over the absurdity of my best friend and my boyfriend bickering across biobeds with one another.

“So what you’re both saying is that she’s okay?” I clarified. Kara smiled.

“Yeah, she’s fine. Farting around in her room on a bed-making robot, last I checked,” she explained. “Look, you’ve got a little more kidney damage than I thought. I need to put you out for a bit so we can run the regen on that.”

“You just said it was bruised,” I protested. 

“Well, lacerated,” she hedged. I sighed.

“Fine,” I grumbled. Kara held the hypo to my neck and knocked me out.

 

XXX

When I came to, Katie was sitting beside me, holding my hand. She looked concerned, but not actually worried. I squeezed her hand and her eyes lifted to my face.

“Mama!” She exclaimed, her voice an excited whisper. “Did you really save Uncle Bones daughter?”

“I think so?” I asked. 

“She said you did,” Katie replied. “She’s really nice. Uncle Bones and her have moved into the family quarters across the hall from us, and we went to -”

“Whoa, slow down,” I protested, rubbing my hand across my face. “How long have I been sedated?”

“Just a day and a bit. Auntie Kay said your kidney needed some repairs, and once you were properly asleep, she found out you had a broken bone in your face,” she explained.

“Pass me that PADD, would you?” I asked as I pushed myself to sitting. She narrowed her eyes in thought and then handed the PADD to me with a little hesitation. I opened my chart and read through it. A little bit of kidney repair indeed. Massive kidney laceration and failure is more like it. I hadn’t realized the guy had kicked me quite so hard, but adrenaline will do strange things to you. I lifted my shirt and tried to see if there was still a bruise or if the treatment had healed all that as well, but I couldn’t quite twist to see. I was sore, and stiff. I picked the PADD back up and checked the report on my face and shook my head, unsure if Kara had just told Katie less so she wouldn’t be scared or if it was a deliberate attempt to keep me from knowing how badly I’d been injured. The broken bone in my face was actually a series of broken bones. A series of broken bones that had required three different runs through the osteo-regen to repair. 

“Want me to call Auntie Kay for you?” Katie offered. I nodded. She hopped up from her chair and scurried across the room quickly, disappearing from view as she turned a corner. Moments later, Leonard rounded the corner, looked up and smiled, the concern in his brow relaxing. He sat down beside me on the biobed and slipped an arm around me, gently pulling the PADD from my hands.

“You really don’t need all the gory details, sweetheart,” he chided. I laughed.

“Too late. How’s Joanna?”

“A lot better than you physically,” he admitted. “The malnourishment has mostly been managed, and we’ve given all the kids a few rounds of bone densifier to counteract the damage. Emotionally, though? I’ll forever be grateful she didn’t see her mother’s body, but it doesn’t change that Jocelyn is gone.”

“Dr. Noel should sit down with her,” I suggested. Leonard furrowed his brow in surprise. “What? You told me I had to see her about my anxiety. Did you not read her report? I did go and see her. She’s easy to talk to. She’s got a lot of expertise. She can help Joa-”

“Joey wants to talk to you,” he interrupted. “She said that when she’s ready to talk, she’d like to talk to you.”

“I don’t have a psych background, Leo,” I protested. He nodded.

“I know. But if she opens up to you, and you can’t help her, you can suggest Helen. And then the recommendation will have come from the person she wanted to talk to,” he countered. I sighed. 

“Katie says you are right across the hall from us now?” I clarified. He nodded.

“The girls seem to be rubbing along fairly well so far,” he confirmed. 

“I’ll let her know that whenever she’s ready, I’m available,” I offered. He smiled and kissed my forehead.

“You are an angel,” he murmured. I snorted, indelicately.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I laughed. “I’m definitely not having angelic thoughts about all the things I’d like to do to you, should we ever get a moment alone.”

“You’re hardly in any shape to be making any threats like that, kid,” he smirked. “But I will hold you to that promise.”

“Private time gets more complicated now that we both have kids onboard,” I countered. He shrugged.

“We’ll figure it out somehow.” He leaned forward and whispered it, his lips brushing against my ear. I’m sure it was on purpose. I shivered.

“That’s not fair,” I mumbled. He pulled out the tricorder and ran the sensor over me again.

“Neither is the fact that I agree with Kara’s recommendation that you avoid any strenuous activity for the next 72 to 96 hours.” He winked. I scowled and shoved him away. He leaned forward to pressed another chaste kiss against my forehead, but I was too quick for him, and pulled his face down to mine, tangling my lips with his. He groaned and pulled away.

“Two can play dirty, Leo,” I murmured against his mouth. 

“Grosso!” Katie had stepped back around the corner, Kara in tow. “Mama, you are too sick to be kissing boys.” I felt myself flush under the combined scrutiny of Katie and Kara’s gazes. Leonard opened his mouth to say something, paused, and closed his mouth again.

“It would appear you are feeling well enough for discharge.” Kara’s tone was amused, and the look she gave me bore the promise of some good-natured teasing.

“And a shower,” I agreed. 

XXX

I woke with a start, sweat dripping off me. It wasn’t particularly hot in my room. I pulled the sticky shirt away from my skin and sat up. In the dim light, I could make out the shape of my bedside table, and tapped my communicator to get the time. It was the middle of the night. I walked out to the living area and got myself a glass of water, and sat down on the couch with my PADD to work on my incident report.

As I typed, a message popped up on my screen from Leonard. “Are you really awake?” I’d logged into the medbay server to access information on the children I’d treated for the report. He must have seen my name in the login bank.

“I am,” I typed back. Moments later, there was a light tap at my door. I gave the verbal authorization for the door to open, and Leonard walked in, pajama bottoms slung low across his hips, and a t-shirt on. 

“You should be sleeping,” he chastised as he flopped down beside me.

“As should you,” I retorted. His arm draped around my shoulder.

“Nightmare?” He asked. I nodded.

“Joanna told me about the gas they’d used on the colonists, and every time I fall asleep, I see a fog roll in, and can’t breathe. And then I see Korm’s men, kicking me again,” I shook my head. “Like a video clip that is on repeat.”

He dipped his head to kiss the side of my head. “It’s only been a few days.”

“And why aren’t you sleeping, Leo?” I asked. He smiled.

“Not sure,” he admitted. “Having Joey is a big change. New quarters take a little getting used to. There’s some relief there. And then the crushing guilt about being relieved.”

“You have no reason to feel guilty.”

“I’m thrilled to have my girl back. Then I remember how I got her back, and I feel guilty for being so happy. I only have her back because her mother is dead,” Leonard explained.

“You can’t let that affect reestablishing your relationship with her,” I argued. I yawned loudly and shook my head. “Sorry.”

“You should try to get some sleep,” he suggested. I nodded and snuggled into his side.

“You’re sticking around?” I murmured as I got comfortable. I felt him sigh.

“Just until you’re asleep, and then I need to get back to Joanna.”


	23. Chapter 23

Kara was insistent that we have a night out before she teleported back to Yorktown, now that we were in range. I was hesitant to agree, as I still wasn’t quite feeling one hundred percent, but she gave me such a hang-dog look that I finally succumbed. Katie had made plans with Joanna to spend time with in the lab under Mr. Yim’s supervision, so I was free for a few hours, at the very least. I headed to the cantina to meet Kara after depositing Katie in the education centre. She was sitting at a table with Christine Chapel, heads together, knees touching. I smiled to myself. It was a good pairing. I cleared my throat as I drew closer to them, and their heads separated to greet me, but they didn’t move apart.

“Be careful, Chris. Kara has a soft spot for pretty nurses,” I laughed. Chris flushed and rolled her eyes.

“Maybe I’m soft on pretty doctors?” Chris challenged. I pretended to be affronted.

“You never flirt with me!” I teased. Chris laughed and threw a crumpled napkin at me.

“Are you going to stand there and pretend to be offended, or are you going to sit down and have a drink before you’ve got to get back to Katie?” Kara challenged. I checked their drinks and went to the bar to order before returning and sitting down, passing glasses around.

“Are you teleporting back tonight, or in the morning?” I asked. Kara scowled.

“I wanted to wait until morning, but I am needed back posthaste. My understanding is that since the reprovisioning was interrupted, you’ll be docking for reprovisioning and supply at Yorktown in less than a month though?” Kara countered. I nodded.

“That’s my understanding. After the last few medical situations we’ve encountered, we’re short on some supplies, and Bones requisitioned some additional equipment and a few more away team med kits. We could be a few days before we’re provisioned.” I passed on the information Bones had shared when we’d gone over inventory my first day back on duty.

“Any exciting plans for your brief leave?” Kara pressed. I felt myself blush.

“Aside from finding some time to spend with Leonard? Not really,” I shrugged. Christine grinned.

“So that’s official then?” She asked. “I mean, you insisted you weren’t going there, but then there’s been all the kanoodling that’s been going on.”

“Is that a clinical term?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Christine laughed.

“And she avoids the question,” she quipped, winking at Kara. Kara threw her hands up in surrender.

“Don’t bring me into this, I do not want to get involved,” she deflected.

“You said this morning that you caught them -” Christine began.

“Whoa, whoa! Pillow talk is secret!” Kara interrupted, giving me my opportunity to pounce.

“Aha! So you two are a thing!” I crowed. “I knew it.”

“You had to see it coming,” Kara cocked an eyebrow. “You’re just jealous you didn’t play matchmaker.”

“I’m fully taking credit anyhow. You wouldn’t have met if it hadn’t been for me,” I shrugged.

“Correction. If it hadn’t been for Katie,” Kara countered.

“Who I made,” I retorted.

“Well, you may have had some help,” Christine chuckled. “And who knows about this thing anyhow. It’s not like we’ll see each other often.”

“Hikaru makes it work with Ben. And they have a child,” I challenged.

“Don’t rush us to the altar, Bryn,” Kara laughed. I faked a pout.

“I just want to see my two favourite ladies settled,” I whined. Chris snorted.

“Hardly!” She exclaimed. “You just want to avoid having to talk about the real story. Now, fess up. What’s the scoop with you and Doctor McCoy. And what happened with the captain?”

“Jim and I were never going to work,” I admitted. Christine nodded, knowingly.

“Because of McCoy,” she interjected.

“Because a captain’s first love is his ship,” I corrected. “And we couldn’t just keep sneaking around. It wasn’t fair to him.”

“Because of McCoy,” Christine winked. I rolled my eyes.

“Because it,” I paused. “You know what, forget it. Because it wasn’t going to work out and we’ve got five years on this boat. And that’s enough of a reason.”

Christine smirked. “And because secretly, you were madly in love with Doctor McCoy.”

“So who made the first move?” Kara asked.

“He did? I did. I don’t really -”

“Basically, other than the commanding officer thing, you guys are perfect together. It’s kind of gross,” Kara interrupted. “But cute gross.”

“Thanks?”

“It’s just that you’re both so cautious. I’m pleased you aren’t trying to hide it, but you’re still trying to be discrete, which is what I think is most appropriate. It’s not like you’re banging on the biobeds, you know?” Kara explained. I let out a bark of embarrassed laughter and blushed, shaking my head.

“We haven’t had any time alone to,” I blurted and then stopped myself. “Never mind!” Stupid stupid stupid mistake. I almost told them we hadn’t actually consummated the relationship yet.

“Shut the fuck up,” Kara breathed. “No way. Seriously?”

“Never mind,” I mumbled, looking into my drink intently.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe this,” she crowed. Christine looked confused.

“I’m not following,” she admitted.

“She and the good doctor haven’t done it yet,” Kara stage whispered. Christine’s eyes widened and she looked at me for verification. I looked back down at my drink.

“Shut up, Kara,” I groaned. Christine’s hand dropped to my arm.

“Honey, why not?” she pressed.

“We haven’t exactly had any free time. First Katie, then he got hurt, then I got hurt, and Joanna, and it’s hard to schedule time to just hang out, let alone get romantic.” It came out in a rush.

“Operation Nookie commences tomorrow,” Christine slammed her open hand down on the table. “Because even I can admire the ass on that man.”

“Good god, stop!” I groaned.

“You even sound like each other. It’s so cute I may vomit,” Christine laughed. I glared at her.

“I have a hypo for that,” I threatened. She rolled her eyes. 

“Please,” she snorted. “So tomorrow, I will take Katie and Joanna for the evening. There are some really gross samples in the lab, I bet the girls would love it. That should give you two some alone time. I don’t want details, but I will demand a confirmation that I didn’t unearth slides of Edosian shingles and Denobulan plague for nothing.”

I sighed. “Sure.” 

“Sound a little more excited, Bryn. The man is tall, dark and handsome. And he’s clever and witty,” Christine laughed. “Seriously, he’s enough to make me rethink women.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes, but felt oddly touched by the efforts of my friend to ensure I actually got some time alone with Leonard. It made whatever was happening somehow seem more real.

XXX

 

“Chapel is looking smug and self-satisfied and keeps giving me a weirdly amused look. It’s been going on all morning. Do you know what’s gotten into her? When I asked her what the hell was going on, all she did was smirk, look away and mumble something about Denobulan plague.” Leonard put a coffee down in front of me and sat down across from me in his office. I bit my lip and gave him an amused look. “Yes, that look. The one you are currently replicating. Is there something wrong with my uniform? Does my hair look like a tribble farm?” 

My grin grew and I shook my head. “She and Kara hooked up,” I offered.

“What the hell does that have to do with me?” Mildly-paranoid Leonard was cute.

“Nothing, until they asked me to go for drinks last night, and then interrogated me about our relationship,” I laughed. He still looked completely perplexed. “Kara thought she’d caught us in the act. When it became apparent that we’re still in the prelude and act one has yet to commence, she and Chris started plotting.”

Leonard plunked his coffee cup down on the desk heavily. “You told them we haven’t -”

“Do you honestly think I would volunteer that information?” I interrupted, with a startled laugh.

“Kara is your best friend -”

“I didn’t get a chance to offer it,” I cut him off again. He looked completely perplexed and I took pity on him. “She figured it out, all on her own. And she put Chris up to watching the girls tonight.”

“The girls?”

“Joanna and Katie,” I prompted. He still looked confused. “So that you and I can -” Realization dawned and he held up his hand.

“Got it.” He looked down into his coffee. “No pressure at all there.”

“I don’t think she’s expecting full documentation, she just wants to provide us an opportunity to be single adults without having to worry about the girls,” I laughed. He still looked uncomfortable. “Will performance anxiety make you better or worse?” I couldn’t keep the leer from my face and he tossed an empty hypo at me in retaliation. I ducked, laughing, and tossed it back, nailing him right in the face. I cringed, and tried to fight back the giggles unsuccessfully. Leonard rose, closed his office door and turned to face me, revenge written all over his face. I yelped nervously, and rose, putting his desk between us.

“That isn’t going to save you, darlin’,” he threatened. Before I could run for the door, he had me pinned against the wall, holding my hands above my head with one of his. My breath quickened. He leaned in, his lips grazing across mine lightly.

“Oh.” I was suddenly short of breath. His free hand ghosted up my side, causing goosebumps to trail behind it. “I kind of like this revenge. Remind me to throw things at you more often.” His hips ground against mine as he trailed his lips along my neck.

“I don’t suffer from performance anxiety,” he growled before kissing me roughly, finally releasing my hands from above my head. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled him closer. His hand slid down my thigh and hitched it up against his hip, pushing me harder into the wall. I groaned. 

“Maybe not in Medbay, Bones,” I managed. He pulled away, and sighed.

“I’m not interested in waiting until tonight. You look peaky, Doctor Erikssen.” His tone was firm and brusk as he opened the office door. “You should take the rest of the shift off. I’ll have someone check on you shortly, but I expect you to be resting in your quarters.”

I cocked an eyebrow as I stepped out of the office. To be fair, I was flushed, and probably looked like I had some sort of exotic fever. No one was going to ask what was going on, except maybe Christine. And she’d already proven her ability to be discrete.

“Of course, Doctor McCoy,” I nodded, and headed to the turbolift.

XXX

The door chirped, and then opened, allowing Leonard to stride in. I stood from where I’d sat at my dining table and smiled, suddenly shy and feeling awkward. Leonard smirked in response and looked over his shoulder at the door console.

“Computer, lockdown room per CMO orders,” he said, reciting a string of numbers that I hoped wasn’t the quarantine codes. “Come here, darlin’.”

My heart was in my throat, and I felt nervous and completely idiotic. The man had somehow become my best friend, and had admitted he loved me. But I was terrified of what came next. So terrified that I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes. I blinked, and shook my head, feeling foolish. Leonard’s smirk softened and he closed the distance between us in a few short steps. He pulled me into his arms, and rubbed his hands down my back, the motion firm and comforting.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I shook my head, embarrassed to speak. “Bryn, darlin’. Tell me what’s got you so shaken.”

“This suddenly feels very real.” My voice was gravelly, which just added to my embarrassment. Leonard looked so confused, like he wanted to say something but also was hesitating. I pulled out of his arms awkwardly, and turned away, hiding the blushing that felt like it was creeping across every millimetre of skin.

“I’m at a loss, sweetheart,” he started. “It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve ever -”

“It’s the first time with you!” I protested, turning back to face him again. He raised an eyebrow and the smirk came back.

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve been told, but I don’t have any magic powers,” he laughed. My brows knit together in a scowl and I rolled my eyes. I drew in a deep breath and looked down at the floor.

“You said you love me,” I started. I peeked up through my lashes. He nodded. “What if you’re wrong, and you don’t and this just makes you sure?”

“Bryn, darlin’, this is insane. I’m sorry, sweetheart, but how am I any different than Jim? It’s biology.” He sounded so incredibly confused.

“Jim didn’t love me. I didn’t love him,” I countered. I was obviously not making myself clear. Mostly because I wasn’t actually making any sense, I think. “If you love me, and I love you, it’s more than biology.”

“Is this about whether I actually love you?” He asked, squinting.

“No!” I exclaimed. “Yes? Maybe. I don’t know.”

“Sit down,” he ordered. I dropped into the chair behind me. Leonard sat on the coffee table in front of me, and took my hands into his. “I need you to find the words to tell me what’s bothering you, or biological imperative or not, there is nothing happening in this room today. I’m not interested in pressing this if you aren’t comfortable with the idea of mutual consent. As unromantic as that may sound.”

“More romantic than you realize,” I laughed, and felt tears pricking against my eyes again. “How are you so goddamn perfect?”

“I’m not even close,” he laughed, shaking his head. “I am an old, grumpy man who doesn’t like space, and doesn’t trust this damn tin can we’re sealed into. I fucked up so badly in my marriage that my wife got full custody of my girl, and I hid in the bottom of a bottle until I mustered up the courage to join Starfleet. Don’t hold me up as an ideal of perfection, kid. I’m not even close.”

I sighed and looked away. All around the room were indicators of my imperfections as well - Katie’s dirty laundry, my empty breakfast dishes, unfinished work open on a PADD. And yet Leonard was sitting on my coffee table, trying to convince me of something. My value? His lack of value? I wasn’t sure. “You -”

He interrupted me by putting his mouth against mine. It wasn’t gentle, but it wasn’t forceful. It was reassuring because as his mouth met mine, his hands went to my hair, threading through the loose braid. “I love you, Bryn.”

“No one has ever loved me,” I admitted. And that was it. I knew what was bothering me. Jim had been a good time, Michael had been a narcissistic error in judgement and Eli was too young to know how to love me, particularly after we’d conceived Katie. And Leonard was seeing me after all of that, and telling me that he did love me. And that was scary. Very scary.

“Then I get to show you all the good stuff,” he murmured against my lips. He threaded his fingers in mine and led me to the bedroom.

XXX

He did love me. And he showed me in the most painstakingly thorough way. Every cell in my body knew, undoubtedly, by the time he’d finished with me, that he loved me. I ached from the all-encompassing nature of his worship. I stretched and rolled into his side, thinking he was still asleep and his arm slipped around my shoulders and squeezed me against him. I ran my hand across his chest and sighed.

“I thought you were still asleep,” I murmured, and tipped my head to look up at him. His smile was unguarded and soft. And my heart tightened painfully in response.

“I’ve been watching you snore,” he admitted. “It’s this cute little high whisper. Possibly the only ladylike thing I’ve noticed about you yet.”

“Ladylike?” I scoffed. “That’s an old-fashioned term.”

“I’m an old-fashioned guy.” His chuckle was low and breathy, and for whatever reason, his southern accent seemed slightly more pronounced. I responded in kind.

“You’re on a state-of-the-art ship, hurtling through unexplored space at warp speed. You are the antithesis of old-fashioned,” I protested. He tipped his head down and kissed me softly.

“You should know, more than anyone else, that we are not just the sum of our experiences,” he scolded, smirking.

“Aw, Leonard, are you saying I’m more than a sleazy teen mother who falls into bed with men in authority?” I couldn’t help myself. I cackled.

“No, you’re exactly that,” he teased. I smacked his chest, not too gently and he recoiled a little and then shook his head. “Is that really what you think of yourself?”

“Of course not, but others might,” I explained. He shook his head.

“Not anyone who wants to continue to serve on this ship.” His tone was firm, like he personally would escort anyone who said anything to the nearest airlock. “My math makes you an adult when Katie arrived. And what happens between consenting adults is not something others should be judging. That goes doubly for you and I. And it applies to your fling with Jim too.”

I laughed. “How does this relate to whether or not you’re old-fashioned, again?”

“More to the point, let’s get back to talking about how ladylike your snoring is,” he countered, ghosting his hand along the curve of my hip, and rolling in bed to cup the swell of my ass in his hand. “Because then I can point out some other ladylike features you have.”


End file.
